Reflections on 'Rinsing' Guys and Glamour Models

Bismillahir rahmanir raheem.

A few days ago, news reached me of a TV programme that was broadcasted in relation to a few supermodels who have used their appearances and sex appeal to draw some benefits and gifts from the opposite gender. At first, I didn't pay that much attention to it but over the last few days, I have noticed that it has sparked such uproar, that many people have written about it. In fact, such was the uproar, that it sparked a Twitter storm causing 50,000 tweets.  After reading through some of these articles (which contained tweets and public comments), I viewed a couple of short clips of the episode and it truly upset me and made a deep impact upon my heart.

After reading much feedback and trying to grasp many of the new concepts, there were three areas I recognised as being important to address; 1. Women and their role models 2. Men and how lowly they can become 3. Hayaa (modesty)

In brief, let me just summarise the issue; the theme of this documentary highlights the lives of various glamour models who are apparently extremely successful but they do not have any such profession. As a result, they use their beauty to entice rich (or reasonably rich) men who then in turn give them money and buy them extremely expensive gifts. This is not to say that the problem in its entirety lies with the women, men who welcome the idea of spending thousands on women who do not even care for them deserve to be hit with the harsh clap of reality; but more on that later.

My first area of worry was in relation to our own respected and dear sisters in Islam. Despite many women (whom I applaud) condemning the models in the documentary,  I noticed how some women were writing messages of support after watching these models rake money in. Many went to the extent of saying that such action was justified and quite beneficial. As a Muslim, let alone a Muslima, such actions are quite simply far from our religion. How can it bring a person happiness, to hoard wealth in a fashion which is against morality and free from any ethics? It does not even need a Muslim to highlight that such behaviour is wrong, many non Muslims are correctly condemning such doings on social networking websites. 

Thus, it's necessary to disregard such glamour models and looks for some role models for all that glitters is not gold. When you take away the glitz and the thrill of what these women are doing and you lay their purpose out, it is quite simply abhorrent.  How can it be acceptable, to not work for the money you gain but to take it from the hand of a person who is vulnerable due to his desires? Alhamdulillah, our deen has taught us from the very beginning to be people of pioneering nature who are not reliant on the money of others. Such people who exert their limbs in noble work, utilise their capacity in all fields and be dignified in their search for wealth. This was taught to us by our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam. In a narration related by Abu Dawud, a man came to Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam and he had nothing in his possession except a piece of cloth (half of which was to be worn and the other half was to be used as a spread) and a bowl. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam told him to bring both possessions to him; consequently, they were brought and the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam auctioned them off for 2 dirhams (silver coins). He gave the man the two coins and told him to spend one upon the sustenance of his family and the other coin should be used to purchase an axe. In fact, the axe was brought to Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam and he fixed the handle; he then commanded the man that he should go and gather firewood (by utilising the axe) and should not return until 2 weeks later. When the man returned, he had accumulated 10 silver coins. It was at this juncture that the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “This is better for you than the (act of) begging should come as a blemish on your face on the Day of Judgment. Begging is right only for three people: one who is in grinding poverty, one who is seriously in debt, or one who is responsible for compensation and finds it difficult to pay. (i.e. extremely dire circumstances)”.

Having understood this hadith, it is important to highlight the work ethic that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam would inculcate within the Companions. Respect for a person is when that person acquires sustenance in a respectable and dignified manner. What respect is there in a person who hoards money by using their sexual prowess as a means of asking men for gifts? A person may achieve their goal and gain quite a bit from lustful men but where is the taste of prosperity in their wealth? It is free from any blessing, free from any satisfaction, free from any dignity.

Thus it is important to urge our sisters to be such women, who study hard throughout their youth and become women who are intellectually astute, morally sound and highly modest. When such characteristics are found within a woman, she is not in need of stooping to such lows.

The second advice is in relation to my dear Muslim brothers; we have become too weak in relation to our desire for the opposite gender. There are many who are all too willing to give time, wealth and affection to women who are not even halal for them. Many Muslim men are spending their money on women whom they have never met; their only source of interaction with these glamour models etc has been through adult entertainment sources. In an attempt to win the admiration of these women, many men are emptying out their wallets in buying gifts which would be more rewarding for them had they spent their wealth on their family members instead. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, "When a Muslim spends on his family in anticipation of a reward, it is sadaqa for him." (Al Adabul Mufrad) I.e. when a man spends on his family members, he is rewarded immensely. Furthermore, in this documentary, men were spending thousands on these women; Allahu Akbar! There are people in this world who are in extreme need, they are literally walking on the banks of destruction and they have no person to feed them. Yet, we would rather give money to women who are quite simply ‘users’ (matlab parast) as opposed to the millions who are dying of hunger. 

Our priorities in life must be sorted out. On the Day of Qiyamah, the feet of a person will not move until he has answered 5 questions; two of which are: Where did you acquire your wealth? Where did you spend your wealth? Every single person will have to answer for every single penny he spent, what will be the state of that person who did not care for his zakah but was enthusiastic upon spending his wealth in shameful places? What answer will he give to Allah? Thus, it is important for us to build this fear within us.

Lastly, in relation to a man, we need to stop being ‘suckers’ for everything that tickles our fancy. We have to build up our defences, it shouldn’t be the case that a pretty woman batters her eyelashes and we feel the need to rescue the damsel in distress. There is a need to become prudent in such matters and ignore that which is of no benefit. When a person becomes desperate in regards to the other gender, he loses his respect in the eyes of people.

Finally, I wanted to mention the topic of modesty. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has said that Hayaa (modesty) is a branch of faith. In another place he has said, “Every nation has a trait and the trait of my nation is modesty” (Muwatta). He has also said, “Vulgarity does not exist in something except that it makes it repulsive and modesty does not exist in something except that it beautifies it.”  In fact, even men are given the example of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam who was described as being more bashful than a veiled virgin within her quarters.

Modesty is quite simply that thing which prevents a person from doing anything hideous. He is constantly shy and is afraid what people might think. Moreover, he is most shy of Allah Ta’ala. As a result, he shies away; take the example of a pious person, when all of his friends are going to a club, he rejects because his modesty stops him from entering such places. Thus, the more we increase in our modesty, the greater we become in distinguishing immoral activities from moral deeds. This is a characteristic which should be in us all (men and women) but it seems extremely distant from such women who are involved in ‘rinsing’ activities. The likes of Asmaa bint Abi Bakr radiallahu anhumaa was such that one day she was carrying a huge weight of harvest on her shoulders towards her house which was at a distance. The Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam passed by with a group of men; the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam was her brother in law and offered to take her home by sitting her on his horse but she refused the offer and said, “I am shy that I travel amongst the men”. Such women are models, the great role models to have ever walked the earth.

May Allah Ta’ala give us all the ability to recognise that which is the Haqq as Haqq and then bless us with the ability to follow it. And may He give us the ability to recognise that which is false as false and bless us with the ability to stay away from it. May He, out of His kindness, endow us with the characteristics of our beloved Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam, and beautify us with the characteristic of modesty. Ameen.

The Sinister...'Far Away, Distant' Feeling

That ‘far away, distant' feeling is something that comes to us all every now and then. This is that feeling, where everything feels blurred and everything seems distant. It seems that everybody is getting on with something or the other and you seem to be standing still; it just feels that you are stuck in a time and place from which you can’t get out of! An example of this to a lower degree can be seen in a student who is sitting in an exam hall; he sees everybody around him doing something but his brain feels to blunt to think of something and his stomach begins to churn as he sees his time is running out.

The reality of this all is that different incidents in a person’s life can trigger of this feeling. Sometimes, an abundance of work and pressure could be the cause; at other stages panic and anxiety could be a reason. Sometimes desperation could settle into oneself and many times, all these factors come together to hit insaan for a six! He then becomes like that cricket ball which has been hit out of the stadium and is sitting outside in the car park all by itself, waiting for somebody to pick it up and bring it back to its rightful place (i.e. the pitch). Similarly, when life is moving so fast around us and we feel completely dazed, we too need someone to take us by the hand and put our hearts’ at ease.

This feeling is an emotion that comes to us regularly and perhaps more so as we grow up and less so as we reach an elderly age. As a person grows, his responsibilities increase and he finds himself juggling between those actions which he must do (whether he likes it or not) and those actions which he likes to do (as a hobby). During his life, he will find himself constantly balancing between the two. When a person starts taking too much on, he finds himself bewildered at the sheer pace of life. There seems to be too many things happening and too little time to analyse them all.

In some instances, an issue of great magnitude such as a person’s death is placed in front of us which totally sweeps our feet from beneath us. Another example could be of a person who is planning to get married; he may be preparing for months on end but as the time to tie the knot approaches, he begins to feel that there are many things which he hasn’t dealt with! In both situations, a person is left befuddled and perplexed.

And in some instances, a person can want to feel far away from everything! When a person constantly sees ‘snakes’ from amongst his dear ones and dark evil in his surroundings, one naturally wants to curl up into a ball and stay in one corner. Sometimes sadness comes to us in abundance and the only reprieve seems to be in the darkness of a silent room. Thus, the far away feeling occurs because a person doesn’t want to feel close to the action.

Finally, you have others who experience the far away feeling because they are quite simply potty! This is when a person is just to foolish to do what is good for himself and continues doing stupid things which prove to be a hindrance to his existence! An example I hear you say? Take the example of a person who wastes his life in a shisha cafe; everyday he wakes up, he does the same thing. He brushes his teeth, wears his jacket, takes money from his parents and follows his friends (who may also be potty) into a shisha cafe. He thereafter wastes pound after pound in buying drinks, coals, snacks etc. The most bizarre thing of all is that this very same person has a career defining exam the following day and he should be revising! As a result, he sits in the exam hall the next day and all he can do is squirm in his chair when he sees his classmates around him pencilling in their exam papers at speed.

So how can a person stop this feeling or get out of it? There are a variety of things he can do. Below are just a few:

• Stop feeling sorry for yourself – sometimes a person needs to slap himself (not literally) and pull his socks up. For how long will a person feel sorry about himself and watch the people around him be successful and not be a part of that success himself? A person must produce unyielding efforts to break away from the vicious cycle of self pity and sorrow.

• Grab hold of a good friend to help you – sometimes we can’t see how deep we are in a situation. At times we exaggerate our problems and at other times, we play matters which are of huge relevance down. When we have the ‘far away feeling’ we should confide this matter in a close, loving, knowledgeable friend. We should explain to him, “I need you to help me pick myself up and make use of my time.” This feeling can bring much sadness to a person which in turn brings a fatigued, lazy ethos. We need to tell our close friend, “When you see me wasting my life away, pull me together and slap me (literally)!”

• Get up and go – have some ‘get up and go’ about yourself. You may find that nobody can help you; that should not send you into a murky abyss. Rather, fortify your intentions and make something of yourself.

• Take the advices from the Qur’an and the Hadith - While the Qur’an cheers up a saddened soul, it also has great advices to push a person in the right direction. Similarly, the words of our Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam have great blessings; he himself would say, ‘I am a source of peace for my companions’. Thus, if we engross ourselves by becoming his companions (i.e. by studying his words), his invigorating shadow will extend over us also.

• Make lots of dua – only Allah Ta’ala is the One who can take us out of the darkness we see before us. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path.” The court of Allah Ta’ala isn’t like a shop which has opening and closing hours; it is open all hours. The court of Allah Ta’ala is like that shop which has everything a person could need and more; he just needs to pre-order through his dua and Allah Ta’ala will send him what he requires. The postage, packaging and delivery depends on that person’s sincerity in his dua but when does eventually receives it, five star customer satisfaction is guaranteed!

May Allah Ta’ala grant us all aafiyat and make our hardships easy for us. Ameen, ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Glad Tidings For The One Who Is Ill

Illness is something which we quite simply have no control over. Depending on the severity of the illness, a person can range from being merely annoyed to utterly distraught. However, let there be glad tidings for that slave who falls ill as Allah Ta’ala uses this illness as an excuse so as to expiate the sins of His slave.

How amazing is it that Allah Ta’ala has given us something positive in something which we dislike. There are many such examples in our Deen where Allah Ta’ala has exalted our status through something which is normally perceived as being disliked and petty. For example, if a person was to prostrate to another man, this would be a complete and utter disgrace. It would show the weakness, frailty and feebleness in a person that he is taking his forehead and placing it at the feet of another person. This idea of lowering one’s head for another can seem quite disgraceful however we prostrate towards Allah Ta’ala by taking the most honoured place of our body (i.e. our forehead from where we thinks and understand) and we place it on the floor by which Allah Ta’ala honours us with Jannah. Allah Ta’ala has made honour for us in something which people would normally perceive as being wrong. In the same way, Allah Ta’ala has favoured us and honoured us even when we are ill. Being ill is something that we obviously do not like but even whilst being ill, our sins are wiped away and our rewards are increased.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “A Muslim does not encounter fatigue, tiredness, concern, sorrow, injury or grief, or even a thorn which pricks him without Allah expiating his errors for him by that." Subhanallah! Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has mentioned several odd problems that could befall a Muslim and in every single one of them there is forgiveness from sins. The general idea here is that anything which displeases a Muslim is a source of mercy for him. Likewise, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam also said, “Affliction will continue to trouble the believers, men and women, in their bodies, their families and their property until they meet Allah Ta’ala purified of every wrong action."

Furthermore, illness is a sign of a person’s belief in Allah Ta’ala. Once, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam was discussing illness when a person asked, “What is illness? For I swear by Allah, I have never been ill!” Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Leave us! For indeed you are not one of us!” This is said because Allah Ta’ala gives illness to a person in order to wipe away his sin. In a narration mentioned in Abu Dawud, it is indicated that when a slave does not have the ability to do good deeds which will enter him into Jannah, Allah Ta’ala afflicts him with some temporary sadness or illness through which his sins will be erased and his good deeds increased. As a result, he is entered into Jannah. Again, Allah Ta’ala is looking excuse to forgive us. Thus, if a person falls ill, he should praise Allah Ta’ala in his heart and be happy that he has some sign of Iman within him.

One a Bedouin came into the company of Rasulullah salalallahu alayhi wasallam; Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam asked, “'Has Umm Mildam (fever) got hold of you?” The Bedouin replied, “What is Umm Mildam?” Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “It is the heat between the skin and the flesh.' The Bedouin said, “No.” Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Have you got a headache?” “What is headache?” the Bedouin asked. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam replied, “It is wind which gets into the head and beats the veins.” The Bedouin replied, “No (I have not experienced this). When he stood up, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Whoever wants to look at a man who is one of the people of the Fire (i.e. let them look at that man.)”

In fact, on a side note, one hadith related in Tabrani, “Never does a Muslim get a headache except that Allah Ta’ala expiates his sin, writes for him rewards and elevates his rank.”

The bottom line here is that we should always ask Allah Ta’ala for security in our life. We should always make the dua, “O Allah, I ask you for forgiveness and security, in my religion, worldly life and hereafter.” Likewise, “O Allah, I ask you for to safe-keep my ears, my eyes and my body.” We should not hope for illness, rather we should take its coming as a sign of forgiveness from Allah Ta’ala.

Finally, my eyes fell over a nice piece on visiting the sick person written by Sheikh Fadhl ullahi Al-Jeelaani in his commentary Fadhl Allahi As-Samad fi Towdeehi Al-Adab Al Mufrad. If we visit a sick person, we should try to adhere to the following 10 points:

1. He does not face the door directly when asking for permission to enter. (i.e. he is not trying to be nosy and see what is going on inside).

2. He opens and closes the door softly. (i.e. He doesn’t start banging doors and disturbing people.)

3. He does not try to remain anonymous. (i.e. When a person is asked, “Who is it?” he doesn’t respond by saying, “Me!”. This brings no clarity and is a source of annoyance to the sick person as well as those around him).

4. He should not come at an inappropriate time. (i.e. he should not come when it is obvious the sick person needs feeding etc).

5. He should not sit for too long except when it pleases the sick person. (i.e. sometimes, people overstay their visit and this over burdens the sick person but he may feel too shy to say anything. He may need some rest in order to preserve his energy but sometimes, useless chatter diminishes this. However, the case of a person who pleases the heart is different. Generally, when the beloved is near, the heart forgets all of it's sorrows. On a side note, I remember one brief story of Layla & Majnoo. Majnoo was so infatuated on Layla that news of this came to the Qadhi (judge) who immediately stipulated 100 lashes (whipping, pitai) for Majnoo. As a result, Majnoo was hit 100 times but to the amazement of the people, he did not let out a single yell. It was as if he was in a trance; however, when he was hit with the last lash, he let out an almighty yell! The people were amazed and thus asked him, "You received 99 lashes and did not utter even whimper but on the 100th lash, you screamed so loud?! Why is this?!" He replied, "My beloved Layla was watching me from her balcony and I was looking at her. Whilst she was there, I was lost in her and so I did not feel any pain; on the 99th whip, she turned and left as the punishment was to end. When she left, I came back to reality." Thus, it is always nice to have the beloved visit when one is sick.)

6. He should lower his gaze from the sick person (i.e. if the person has some apparent illness on the body, the visitor should not fix his eyes upon it as if to show some shock. :-| <-- like that)

7. He should not question the sick person excessively. (i.e. this can become tiresome).

8. He should show sympathy. (i.e. sympathy shows softness and care).

9. He should make sincere dua.

10. He should give him some words of encouragement so it strengthens the ill person’s resolve. (i.e. many people go and visit the sick people and instead of giving them encouragement, they say, “Oh dear! You look terrible!” This doesn’t do any good to the moral of the ill person; rather it convinces him that he is in a truly poor state. This in effect gives a huge psychological blow to the ill person and at times can break his resolve. Thus we should give words of encouragement to build the resolve of the sick person).

May Allah Ta’ala give us all good health. Ameen.

Don't Be A 'Quitter'

Different people are affected mentally by different things. Different situations bring out different characteristics from within a person. Sometimes people are presented with a task which they are not comfortable with but they still dig deep (make huge efforts) in order to complete it. On the other hand there are other people who maintain a ‘give up’ mentality; and that is when a difficult situation is presented before them, they immediately feel it is impossible and beyond the boundaries of reality. As a result, they quit at the first hurdle and decide not to push themselves towards the attainment of their goals. This mentality can be simply put as, “When the going gets tough... I quit.”

As Muslims, when we do not understand how to do something our mentality should not be ‘I quit’. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam and the Companions radiallahu anhum were presented with the severest of tasks. They were presented with tasks of huge magnitude but they did not carry this ‘I quit’ perception in their pockets. Rather, they had unerring fortitude and belief that they will complete their goals. Had they quit at the first hurdle, then how would this deen come to us? Likewise, it is seen over the period of history that the religion of Allah ‘azza wa jal has not been carried by people who had low self esteem and will power. Rather Allah Ta’ala has specifically chosen special souls to do the service of His religion because of their resolute nature. The greatest honour a person can have in this world is to serve this faith we have been gifted with in whatever way possible; whether it be that a person becomes a doctor and helps humanity or that he becomes a scholar and guides people towards the straight path, the basis of our existence is to serve the deen and this can only be done by men and women of strong, resolute, pioneering character.

When a person is presented a task which is outside of his ‘comfort zone’ he immediately begins to think about all his weaknesses. For example, sometimes a person may be asked to read a book out aloud to his class as part of class reading. As soon as this task has been delegated to him, he immediately begins a conversation within his own self along the lines of, “What if I make a mistake? People will laugh at me and think that I am stupid. Some of these English words are looking really big, what if I say it funny and people giggle?” These types of thought are all fuelling and whisperings from shaytaan khabees and should be ignored (say a’uzoo billahi min ash shaytaanir rajeem). When a person begins to think too much about a specific task, he makes it more complex than it really is. One dear friend of mine once advised me to make big things appear to be small so that the pressure is also reduced.

If we are struggling to perform a certain task than our state should not be that we hold our hands up and say, “I can’t do this!” Rather we should look at the task and say, “I do not have the knowledge on how to do this properly just yet but I will learn very quickly and then attempt to do this again.” It is very important to be optimistic at all times as opposed to being pessimistic and negative. When a person is optimistic and hopeful, he begins to brim with confidence and self belief. This will aid him hugely in completing his difficult task as he has already won half the battle which is within his mind. If our condition is such that we begin shaking at the mere possibility of each task then we will run away from it for as long as we live and we will never gain the experience to overcome our ‘teething troubles’ so as to speak.

Sometimes, to produce a resolute and stalwart characteristics within oneself is really hard, especially if the person is a soft person by nature. In situations such as these, my humble advice would be to use my ‘goli maro bhai’ (fire a bullet to the world) method. A person should not think too much and work by the spur of the moment. It is like when we get an injection from the nurse. We look at the needle and begin to get so scared. Sometimes people begin to cry just by seeing the needle that Allah bachai, this nurse is going to do my zabah (sacrifice)! Then when the time comes we know we can’t get away from it so we close our eyes and hope for the best but as soon as the needle comes in and out, the first words we say are, “That didn’t hurt you know.” This is spur of the moment ‘goli maro’ theory.

May Allah Ta’ala give us all the ability to strengthen our resolve and be from those people who achieve our ambitions. May He take great service of deen from us. Ameen.

Infatuation in Islam (Part 2) - Curing the Problem

The topic of infatuation is a very strange matter. I have already highlighted the problem and the illness which branch out from this feeling (this article can be read by clicking here). Sometimes, the hardest obstacle to overcome is the mind. When the mind has conceded that the body has a problem, man has already lost half the battle. Janan Begum rahmatullahi alayha was a great poet, her husband died at quite a young age and she led the rest of her life as a widow. She never forgot her beloved and was always in his remembrance. About infatuation she once wrote,

“How can a lover conceal his infatuation from the eyes of people,
when both of his eyes are bleeding to disclose his secret love.”

When the mind has conceded that it has been taken over by the remembrance of the beloved, it is really hard to break this train of thought. It requires a person to dig deep inside of himself and strengthen his resolve. I have decided to counter the illnesses that I wrote towards the end of the last article; then wherever necessary, I will add whatever else needs to be mentioned inshallah.

Strengthening one’s resolve

For any difficult goal to be achieved, a person needs to have determination.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam said, “Actions are by intentions, and for every man is what he intended.” A person will go as far as his intention; if his intention was one of huge determination, then he will continue to reach the goal despite facing various hardships along the way. On the contrary, if a person’s intention was weak, his determination and resolve will crumble at the first hardship faced in reaching his goal. As a result, he will be left unsuccessful and will continue to try finding new ways of attaining his intended target. The reality is, when battling diseases of the mind and heart, nothing is easy. There is no shortcut, there is no side road which a person can use during testing times, rather everything is done by clenching the fists and getting on with the job. They key principle is, “Never lose courage”. Always keep on going even if it feels a mountain trek in the beginning. Sooner or later, the tawajjuh (attention) of Allah Ta’ala falls upon His slave which results in mass progress. In our context, this means that a person should immediately slap himself (not literally) and leave the thoughts surround the desired one. During times of frustration, such strong feelings may come back but a person should not feel hopelessness, rather he should pick himself up and try again. The resolve should be such that a person feels inside of his heart, “Even if I die, I am going to get this khabees out of my mind and heart!” Such strong resolve is loved by Allah Ta’ala who in turn sees the mujjahadah (effort and struggle) of His slave. Consequently, Allah Ta’ala gives the slave the ability to fulfil his task.

Remedies to the illness mentioned in the previous article:

Constantly being self conscious – The remedy to this is to avoid trying to look good. One who is suffering from this ailment should wake up and roll out of his house without over elaborating his looks. This doesn’t mean he goes to college, university, work with a creased up khurta pyjama! Rather, he wears whatever he finds in his hand. He should not think to himself, “I am going to wear a dark colour because it makes me look mysterious!” The main objective here is not to make much of an effort, after continuously doing this he will not care whether he looks ugly or not as he has nobody to impress. Thus, by not impressing the beloved, he begins decrease in love and concentration for her.

Feeling of being unattractive if ignored – feeling unattractive can be from the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala especially in our day and age. Sometimes when people know that they are appealing to the other gender, they tend to go by the proverb, “If you’ve got it, then flaunt it!” and thus a person will wear his/her clothing in a manipulative way. When a person feels unattractive, it can prevent him into going into illicit relationships. His esteem is fragile with regards to interacting with the opposite sex and before he even begins to be flirtatious, he will remind himself, “Yaar..you are the ugly duckling, why would a girl of her calibre be interested in you?!” As a result, this mindset will overpower the want of doing haraam. When a person starts feeling unattractive due to being ignored, he should constantly remind himself, “This person is not my spouse and my beauty will only be for her. What difference does it make to me if this person doesn’t think I am attractive, it is not like I am going to spend the rest of my life with them.” Thus when a person doesn’t receive the attention he was hoping for, he should not feel lowly but should rather pass it off and feel that the only opinion worthy of his time is that of the one he will marry and remain with.

Depression – Depression often stems from loneliness and isolation. Depression feeds on the frailties of the mind and the weaknesses of the heart. As a result, a person finds solitude only in his sorrow. It is a vicious circle which revolves around anguish. It is important to spend as much time with good friends, going out and playing football and having a general laugh. If a person finds that he is constantly falling into sorrow and his eyes are burning with tears, he should do things which cheer him up even if it means forcing oneself. Sometimes, a person finds such happiness in his friends, our friends are always people we look to and smile with. It is important to be with them. Another way is to spend time in dua’a, speaking to Allah Ta’ala about your problems. Explain the contents of your heart by telling Allah Ta’ala the story from the beginning to the end. He hears and understands everything, even the whispers of the heart. Reading Qur’an and Islamic literature can also prove to be beneficial.

Sleepless nights – please read the article Goodnight, Sleep Tight.

Unstable thoughts – These thoughts are from Shaytaan. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam has given us the remedy for such thoughts. We must say Ta’wuz (A’uzu billahi min ash shaytaanir rajeem) and then change our thoughts. This can be done best by engaging in zikr. Let a person constantly say “Astagfirullah” (O Allah! Forgive me). One should also reflect on his selfishness which is being portrayed by his desire to cause unrest in the lives of others. More details can be read by viewing the following article: Origins of Evil Thoughts

Mood Swings - This is perhaps one of the hardest ailments to get rid off due to the unpredictable nature of a person. Imam Shafi’ rahimahullah would write, “The heart is only called the heart because of its rapid change.” Different things that happen in our life change us. Sometimes this is caused due to factors within our control (such as our own actions) and at other times these changes are caused by factors which are outside of our control (such as actions of others or environmental changes). As mentioned in the other post, sometimes the attention of the beloved can send one into ecstasy and likewise a cold look can send one into deep sorrow. The best way to avoid these mood swings is to avoid the beloved altogether. Some people are such that even though they are not in contact with their desired one, they will speak to those who are in an attempt to find out any news about their life. The best thing to do at this juncture is to ignore and leave everything connected to the person at hand. However, it is also important to try one’s best to leave those things which make a person angry, sad or frustrated. These feelings are such that they provoke the feelings of want and miss. A person then goes into a frenzy and due to missing and wanting the beloved, the mood swings occur. When a person feels he is going into a strop, then he must try his best to avoid the people who are dear to him, in such instances, a person can cause damage to the hearts of others and then regret it later. The bottom line here is, one needs to be patient and slowly over time, these mood swings will occur less. When one is frustrated and then begins to miss the beloved, it is important to busy the mind with something else...go play a nice golf game on Playstation.

Anger – Anger is such a thing which can emanate from mood swings. My respected ustaadh Hazrat Maulana Abdur Rahim Sahib once mentioned,

غصہ کا آنا برا نہيں – غصہ کو لانا اور غصہ نکالنا برا ہے
“The coming of anger is not a bad thing... bringing anger (by force) and then taking it out (on others) is bad”

He then continued, “Anger is sometimes good. Allah Ta’ala gave it to us so we can protect ourselves otherwise we wouldn’t care about what happened to us or our families. So as long as a person is late in getting angry and quick in returning to his normal state he is fine. Also, as long as his anger is not for personal and worldly matters then it and it is for deen, then he is fine too. Remember, “sorry” is the hardest word to say but we should not hesitate to say it when we realise our mistake.”

The advice to a person who is angry is mentioned in the hadith, he should recite Ta’wuz and then do wudhu to cool himself down. If he is standing up then he should sit down and if he is sitting down he should lie down. It is also useful to take deep breaths and blow the matter off. Sometimes, we get annoyed by little things but the main reason of our anger is our infatuation. Then when someone asks, “What is the matter?” we mention the little thing because we are too ashamed to say, “I am more infatuated then Majnoo was on Laila.” Just the way we consider it to be shameful and pitiful when asked about our anger, we should also consider this infatuation to be something lowly and not worthy of getting angry over when we are in a state of calmness. Let’s not blow things out of proportion, that’s one of the greatest crimes a person can do. Though this infatuation maybe something big in your life, nobody other than yourself really cares about it. By constantly remembering this, a person will be able to take a huge weight off of his shoulder and turn it into a feather.

Loss of appetite – Sometimes this can be a great ni’mat of Allah Ta’ala, especially when a person is a bit podgy and has a Krispy Kreme doughnut addiction. The main thing over here is not to starve oneself to the brink of exhaustion but to take healthy amounts of food. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam would eat moderately himself so this is not a bad thing. However, sometimes we hear stories of sisters who become anorexic due to this and refuse to eat. This is not right, Allah Ta’ala has given the body to insaan (mankind) as an amanat (trust). If our friends were to give us a fragile diamond necklace, we would take care of it and polish it every day so that it returns to its rightful owner in a good state. In the same way, we have to look after our body and condition it well so that when we give our body back to Allah Ta’ala, it is not in a bad condition. It being in a bad state reflect the ingratitude of a person. If a person is really struggling, then he/she should try to eat many khujoor (dates) and drink water in abundance too. Inshallah there will be great barkat in this.

Remedies to spiritual ailments:

Laziness in worship – In such a situation, a person has to force himself onto the prayer mat and pray. He has to constantly make the dua, “O Allah Ta’ala, whether I want to or not, pull me by my forehead onto the prayer mat. O Allah, whether I want to or not, pull me towards the Qur’an and make me read it. O Allah, whether I want to worship You or not, make Your worship compelling upon me.” It is also good to find some pious friends and build up a relationship with the mosque. The more a person goes to the mosque for prayers with congregation, the more he builds up an attachment to the house of Allah Ta’ala and the Qur’an itself mentions that such prayer stops a believer from indulging in immoral activities. If a person has a pious, best friend, it is important for him to trust his friend and explain his situation. By seeking his help, he will have someone to help him who is not blinded by love or by the constant natter of shaytaan with regards to the beloved. When a person is infatuated, his eyes are hazed but a person who is not infatuated will see a situation for what it really is; in effect he will be able to come to the right decisions and provide the right help inshallah.

Increase in disobedience – this is similar to laziness in worship however a person may embark on all sorts of immoral activities if this state comes over a person. It is important to force oneself into the company of the pious or the people of the household. Sometimes, a person only gets into bad things because the people around him are behaving in the manner of shayaateen. If a person can stay away from such people, it would be good for him. I once wrote a poem about this:

If a raindrop falls into the ocean, it is catergorised as part of the ocean,
When insaan falls into bad company, then insaan surely becomes known as bad company.
All the negative attributes that you gain thereafter, will cover you like a coat,
Duplicity, audacity and insolence is what your name will be known to connote.
So save yourselves from this complete and utter foppery,
For it is better to be alone than to have evil company.

Staying away from bad company means staying away from drugs, alcohol etc. Staying in good company means staying in the masjid.

Heavy heart – if a person finds that he has a heavy heart then he should make lots of zikr. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace.” It is easy to zikr, a person can say laa ilaha illallah and astagfirullah whilst walking. The greatest remembrance is the Qur’an. The more a person reads it, the more its nur (light) enters his heart and destroys the darkness which surrounds it. Also, a person should be punctual on his prayers and try to increase his nafli (extra) worship. Tahajjud is something that can draw a person closer to Allah Ta’ala. Once this closeness is found, a person should make dua from the bottom of his heart and cry profusely. If a person cannot cry, then he should make the face of a person who is crying and be in anguish. By enjoying a good old sob, the heart feels light and happy.

Change in personality – it is always important to read about the characteristics of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. He is our role model and his nature was sublime. His conduct was impeccable and he has set for us a shining example. When a person’s characteristics become so foul, it is best to look towards the characteristics of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. Purchase books such as Shamail Tirmizi which is available widely with commentary Khasail Nabawi or the Sublime Conduct of Nabi salallahu alayhi wa salam. A person should also look to get Bay’ah with a Sheikh who can then guide him on the path to perfection. For more information on this, please read the book “Path to Perfection” which has been compiled by Maulana Maseehullah Khan sahib rahimahullah.

Loss of trust in Allah Ta’ala – This is one of the greatest sins a person can do. When a person gets to such a state he should immediately seek repentance, do ta’wuz and slap himself (literally this time). It is important to wake up and smell the coffee. Just because a person does not get his desired object does not give him the right to lose trust in Allah Ta’ala. Allah Ta’ala mentions, “It could be that you like something which is bad for you and that you dislike something which is good for you but Allah knows best and you do not.” The reality is, Allah may have better things in store for us which are far greater and virtuous but what He needs from our side is patience and reliance upon Him. Allah Ta’ala is not out to hurt the believers, He is our Friend and Guardian. Never will there be such a day where Allah Ta’ala turns His Countenance away from us and leaves us in despair. This will only happen if we turn our backs on Allah Ta’ala. May Allah Ta’ala protect us from the fitnah of ourselves and never let us be in charge of our own selves for the blink of an eye. Ameen

The ailments are many and the remedies are many. The above is just a feeble attempt to help those whose hearts may be in peril. If there are others who know of methods and solutions that are far more beneficial, then it is my humble request to be shown towards a better advice.

May Allah Ta’ala guard the gates of our heart and fill our hearts only with the love of Allah Ta’ala, His Rasul salallahu alayhi wa salam and those who it is permissible for us to cherish. May He, out of His Benevolence and Kindness help all those who are mystified by this ailment. Ameen.

Infatuation in Islam - Identifying the Problem

Recently, I have heard the word infatuation being used a lot. I began thinking about what ‘infatuation’ exactly is from an Islamic point of view. I then thought about the difference between infatuation and a mere liking of someone. Slowly but surely, by the grace of Allah Ta’ala, I began to write this article. This article will largely deal with the feeling of infatuation upon the other gender.

According to the dictionary, the word infatuation is defined as ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something’. In many cases however, such infatuation is not short-lived but remains present in a person’s life. It can hide itself within the breasts of mankind for a long period and just when a person thinks it has gone, it can resurface. This will be explained further in due course insha Allah.

It is important at this stage to recognise the difference between merely liking and admiring someone and become infatuated upon someone. When a person merely likes another person, it is just a way of expressing his fondness towards the characteristics or beauty of the person whom he is keen upon. This is quite normal and is felt in many people whether they like to admit it or not. For example, a person may have a work colleague who is really helpful and as a result, that person develops a liking for his colleague's kind nature. Also, a person may have a classmate who is extremely beautiful and by acknowledging her beauty, he may begin to develop a liking for her too. However, this liking remains at a very mellow stage and becomes a ‘want’ rather than a ‘need’.

A ‘want’ is simply something a person would like to have; if he receives it then he is happy and makes use of it till he renders it useless and if he does not receive it, he is briefly disappointed but moves on. A ‘need’ however is something a person must have in order to give himself raahat and peace; if he receives it then he does not want to let it go and if he does not receive it, his heart is in constant ache.

This second type is primarily what ‘infatuation’ is. It is an obsession of such a nature that it traumatises the mind and punishes the heart inhumanely. When a person is ‘infatuated’ upon something, his life becomes unbearable until his obsession is acquired. It is true enough to say that infatuation has different degrees. Some people are affected by it greatly to the extent that there entire life revolves around their fixation and others are affected for only a specific portion of their life and as soon as that time has departed, so too has the fixation. The latter can be exemplified by the situation of a person who is popular in college. Girls may be fixated upon his flash style and his handsome face all year round but as soon as he departs, the fascination these girls felt will also go. This is because he is no longer in view.

Shah Waliullah Dehlwi rahimahullah narrates a hadith in his Arba’in, “Your love for someone can blind you and deafen you.” Infatuation can be on many things. It can be upon following life in certain ways, using specific methods, it can be an intense interest in an enemy etc. Here we will take about the infatuation which is felt in a person when he likes another.

For a person to be infatuated on another person, love and admiration must have entered his heart at some point which stops him from moving on. This is seen quite explicitly in the story of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam which is mentioned in the Qur’an. The story is a long, detailed one but in brief, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam was a man of immense beauty and great conduct. The wife of the leader of Egypt (Zuleikha is her name) at that time became infatuated upon Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam and loved him dearly. She was so adamant in starting a relationship with him that she sought to seduce him into committing fornication. Being such a great Nabi of Allah Ta’ala, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam refused. These events somehow spread throughout the land and the women began gossiping and ridiculing Zuleikha. Zuleikha felt hard done by as nobody except her had witnessed the great beauty and jamaal of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam. As a result, she organised a banquet wherein Yusuf alayhis salam was put forth in front of the women. They were also given knives and fruit in their hand but when they saw the beauty of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam, they cut their hands. As a result, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam was falsely dubbed as a menace to society and was consequently put into prison. He stayed in prison for seven years. It is mentioned by Maulana Hifzurrahman Syuhari rahimahullah, “Once Yusuf alayhis salam was taken into prison, Zuelikha totally took him out of her mind.” For several years, Zuleikha continued with her life and it appeared that she had moved on during this time. The flame of intense love and affection she had for Yusuf alayhis salam appeared to have burnt out. However, after seven years, his name was mentioned in her presence and the infatuation she had rekindled itself and the flame of her love once more began to burn brightly in her heart.

The leader of Egypt began an inquiry as to see what really happened with regards to Yusuf alayhis salam. He wanted to clear Hazrat Yusuf’s alayhis salam name and so he began his ‘trial’. When his name was mentioned in front of Zuleikha, the truth of her infatuation became apparent and she crumbled. After years of being so distant from the one she loved the most, the pangs of separation could no longer be hidden. She immediately admitted her fault and that she was to blame. The Qur’an mentions,

قَالَ مَا خَطۡبُكُنَّ إِذۡ رَٲوَدتُّنَّ يُوسُفَ عَن نَّفۡسِهِۦ‌ۚ قُلۡنَ حَـٰشَ لِلَّهِ مَا عَلِمۡنَا عَلَيۡهِ مِن سُوٓءٍ۬‌ۚ قَالَتِ ٱمۡرَأَتُ ٱلۡعَزِيزِ ٱلۡـَٔـٰنَ حَصۡحَصَ ٱلۡحَقُّ أَنَا۟ رَٲوَدتُّهُ ۥ عَن نَّفۡسِهِۦ وَإِنَّهُ ۥ لَمِنَ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ
He (the king) said, “What was your case, O women, when you seduced Yusuf?” They said, .God forbid, we know of no evil in him.” The governor‘s wife said, “Now the truth has come to light. I did seduce him, and he is surely truthful.”

My most dearest and most beloved Hazrat Maulana Abdur Rahim Sahib (May Allah Ta'ala preserve him and reward him in abundance) writes a beautiful explanation to this verse in his tafseer Ahsan al Qasas. He says,

“Zuleikha stood on one side and listened to the replies of the women and acknowledged the innocence and high principles of Yusuf alayhis salam. When they finished, she began, “Now the truth has come to light”. She did not mince her words. Rather she accepted her guilt freely and frankly. She adored Yusuf alayhis salaam in every sense, in words and deed and she wanted the truth to be proclaimed in the open court, before all. So what had happened to her then? She had learnt a lot in sorrow, pain and humiliation. She had learnt the vanity of carnal love. Yusuf alayhis salam, true of heart, calm in every turn of fortune, had taught her to question herself whether, in spite of all her sins she could yet be worthy of him? Perhaps when her husband was dead, and she was a widow. However, she must see whether she could understand love in the sense in which Yusuf alayhis salam would have her understand it, that pure surrender of the self, which is not tainted by earthly matters.”

Thus as I mentioned before, infatuation is not short lived but can resurface at any time. Over here, we have the case of Zuleikha who has gone without Yusuf alayhis salam for years but at his mere return, she once again became dominated by feelings of burning love.

It is about this the poet says,

“Love refuses to hide, although I have tried to conceal it at countless times.
It just returns and settles itself in my courtyard.
When my yearning intensifies, my heart revolves around his remembrance.
Then when I want to get closer to my beloved, he himself draws closer to me.”

Yusuf alayhis salam was the ‘need’ that Zuleikha felt and by being in his company or around his matters, she felt great solace.

Now the question arises that in our day and age, is this type of infatuation on the opposite gender a good thing?

The simple answer is no. It does not befit the characteristics of a Muslim that he places matters of happiness and sadness upon the attention of a person whom he may not even spend the rest of his life. The effects of infatuation can cause many problems both spiritually and mentally. With regards to mentally, here are some;

· Constantly being self conscious – when a person becomes obsessed with someone, he naturally wants to look good in order to catch their eye. Thus he will always try to dress up and look good just in case he bumps into them.

· Feeling of being unattractive if ignored – when a person is ignored or not acknowledged by the person for whom they dressed up, they often feel very low in self esteem and feel unattractive. Sometimes a person may feel that he made such effort only to be blown away.

· Depression – when a person cannot even gain the attention of the person that they are infatuated upon, they begin to live a life of sorrow. Nothing feels worth doing if it is not done with the ‘beloved’.

· Sleepless nights – when a person is infatuated upon a person, he may often suffer sleepless nights just thinking about the other person. He may spend hours upon hours devising plans to be noticed or perhaps fantasize of a day when he is enjoying himself with his fixation.

· Unstable thoughts – A person may think up many ways of perhaps acquiring his obsession. This may lead to unstable and impure thoughts. A person may consider plotting against people or doing absurd things just in order to attain their desired one.

· Mood swings – when a person does not know what to think, he begins to have mood swings. Sometimes when things are going fine, he is in the happiest of moods but at other times he may be extremely depressed. This can perhaps be sparked by small gestures from their ‘beloved’. For example, if the ‘beloved’ merely glances with a smile at them, it may send them in to ecstasy. On the other hand, if the ‘beloved’ glances at them coldly or speaks sharply, they may feel extreme sorrow.

· Anger – when things are not going right and all else is failing. A person tends to get frustrated and begins to bish, bash, bosh.

· Loss of appetite – a person cannot eat despite being hungry. He is constantly in thought of his ‘desired one’. For as long as he feels the pains of separation, he cannot enjoy the other ni’mats and bounties of life.

From among the spiritual ailments are the following:

· Laziness in worship – when a person hits such a sorrowful state, he just does not like to do anything. It is easier to lie down on the bed then to make dua to Allah Ta’ala and thus there will be much negligence in prayer and Qur’an. Sometimes, when a person does not have thing he wants most, everything else feels useless to perform.

· Loss of trust in Allah Ta’ala – when a person does not get what he wants, he begins to question Allah Ta’ala and feel that Allah Ta’ala has deprived him. When his entire life is being shattered, he begins to question what Allah Ta’ala has done for him! May Allah Ta’ala protect us all.

· Increase in disobedience – as a result of this loss of trust, a person begins to commit sins and feels more inclined towards disobedience. A sister who may not be getting noticed by the person whom she is infatuated upon may take off her hijab in order to lure him to her. Due to the pain the heart is feeling, a person may find solace in smoking, drugs, alcohol as it can temporarily numb the pain.

· Heavy heart – as a result of all this disobedience, the heart becomes stained and becomes heavy. A person feels constantly guilty with himself for the constant sin he has gotten himself into.

· Change in personality - when infatuation has affected a person so greatly, his personality begins to change. He become different to the man he once was in many ways. Many negative traints come inside him and his akhlaq (mannerisms) are hugely transformed. A person who was always bashful and cheerful may become miserable. One who was kind may feel stingy. One who always had time for others may push people away from him and the examples go on..

All the aforementioned point to one thing – such infatuation in Islam is forbidden. In no way is it correct for a Muslim to bear all these characteristics with himself. Such foul qualities negate the essence and aura of a Muslim. I have highlighted the problems and in the next post, I will insha Allah write the remedy as I have not thought about it greatly as yet. If anybody has any ideas, please feel free to put your ideas forth. Jazak Allah

May Allah Ta’ala strengthen the doors of our heart and keep the clean with His religion. May He out of His infinite blessings reward all the authors on this blog and those who inspire us to write. May He reward all you for taking time out to learn about His deen. Ameen

"Maulvi's are the mureed of their wives..."

By Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat, Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi rahmatullahi alayh
Translate from Tohfae Zowjayn (excellent book, must buy).

Those people who are religious have much gratitude for the many efforts of their wives. Maulana Muhammad Mazar rahmatullahi alayh was such that his wife had become quite elderly but Maulana shared such a bond with her that whenever she would become even a little sick, he would immediately take leave from Madressa (where he would teach) and he would do her khidmat (service) with his own hands.

Today, some people hate having elderly wives where in reality, they are the people that made them a bhudi (elderly) but Maulana Muhammad’s rahmatullahi alayh was such that he did not employ maids or butlers to do his wife’s looking after but rather he did it himself and take leave from Madressa in the process.

It is for this reason that some people say in jest that: “The scholars are the mureed of their wives!” but Jee ha! Yes, indeed! It is better for them to be their mureed then be their peer like you people! And that too, a bogus peer!

The reality is this that Maulvi’s are not the mureed of their wives but they have the fear of Allah Ta’ala set in their hearts with regards to fulfilling the rights of other people and the rights of their wives. Their eyes have passed over the Qur’an and Hadith and they have read the social conduct of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam through the narrations of Hadith. They have seen how he showed such softness and compassion to his wives in order to put them at ease.

The reality is that whatever Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam presented to his wives through his beautiful behaviour can never be done by any Maulana today and if he did make an effort to portray this behaviour (tit for tat) then the people would jest him by calling him more than a mureed of his wife.

In the Hadith it comes that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam would race with his wife Hazrat Aisha radiallahu anha. It is for this reason Maulvi’s do more for the sake of their wives because they have social conduct of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam in their eyes. Then by doing things for the happiness of their wives, there is a big benefit in the world. The People of Allah are not the mureed of their wives, rather they understand their significance.

Reading Too Hard Inbetween Lines

This is a topic that I have been wishing to write for a while. There is an illness that many people have and that is reading too hard in to a situation or as the proverb is, “reading too hard inbetween the lines”. This proverb quite simply means that a person looks into a matter so thoroughly that his own minds concocts an entire ‘conspiracy’ against himself. They read so hard into things that they place negative ideas into words that were never meant to be offensive! Let me give you an example:

Balqees has got a new blue hijab. A sister by the name of Bulbuli who knows her sees this hijab and merely exclaims “It is a nice hijab but I would not wear it.” Balqees immediately sends her mind into overdrive and thinks of all possibilities as to why this comment has been made. She will now go through all scenarios and will draw up a conclusion that will immediately put Bulbuli in the wrong. Poor Bulbuli was only saying this because she does not like the colour blue but now Balqees will keep thinking this is because Bulbuli has something against her style and clothing. Like this, she will hold some resentment in her heart.

This is a very bad ailment that is in the Muslim ummat today. Many people aren’t allowed to breathe because there are people in the community who will instantly state on every given occasion, “it seems that you are hinting something”. However, some people are of an extremely pious nature and their humility is such that whenever a word of caution is said with regards to deen, they immediately feel that it is to do with them. These people are not mischief makers, they are people who have reached such a high level of spirituality that people like myself could only wish for. The example of these people is like the following example:

Balqees and Bulbuli walk past a group of people who are dropping litter, “It is very bad when people drop litter.” Bulbuli has so much fear of Allah Ta’ala that she immediately thinks about whether she has dropped anything that day. Though this comment was not targeted for her, she instantly reacts to it because of her worry and fear of Allah Ta’ala.

This is an excellent trait to have. Then there are other people who perhaps may be guilty and whenever something is mentioned, they feel that it is instantly applicable to them and that people are having a dig at them and as a result, they become extremely rude and defensive. These are people who think the world revolves around them and this is a very bad trait to have. It leads one to arrogance and thinking that he is superior and that his mere existence is on the minds of others when in reality he is a mere dot. The example of this person is as follows:

Balqees and Bulbuli are sitting with their friend Shelpi. Shelpi had recently smoked a ciggie but this was in secret and nobody knew. Balqees and Bulbuli are having a nice Islamic discussion with regards to how foul smoking is. Shelpi hears this and instantly feels that her two friends are ganging up on her and found out somehow. She begins to think about all the possible avenues for them finding out. She retraces her steps to where she had smoked and is now analysing whether it was possible for anyone to see her. She then thinks some more and comes to the conclusion that while she had gone into the toilet, Balqees and Bulbuli searched her bag to find these cigarettes. As a result of this, she gets angry and begins to resent her two friends immensely. Her heart becomes a vessel of hatred and whenever she thinks about those two, her stomach boils with feelings of betrayal. Of course, Shelpi is quite simply off her rocker!

The remedy is quite simple, a person must stop thinking that the world revolves around them. A level of maturity and self reflection should be left in a person that he can distinguish between a normal statement and a malicious statement. Otherwise his company and companionship will be a means of pain and stress for his friend. He will feel that his companions every utterance is something to scrutinise. Sooner or later, his friends will become sick and tired of him and would rather not know him or be with him. This is quite simply the result of jumping the barrel.

The advice to people who have friends such as this is straight forward. You must exercise tolerance and constantly lower the wings of humility. Remember this lifelong lesson, when confronted by a complete plank... just nod and smile...nod and smile. And make duaa that Allah Haqq Tabaraka wa Ta’ala helps them to change and us all.

May Allah Ta’ala give us the ability to be tolerant and know our true ranks among the people. Ameen.

Takabbur (Arrogance) - A common Disease

With the name of Allah, the All Merciful, the Very Merciful...

The Prophet Muhammad(Peace be upon him) said in an authentic hadith,"Whosoever has an atoms weight of arrogance in his heart will not enter Jannah." One of the signs of arrogance is denying the truth. Denying the oneness of Allah is amongst the biggest signs of arrogance. Nowadays, many are so blinded by this world that they think that this world is everything but the thing that they don't realise is that a day will surely come where we will stand in front of the One who created us and we will be asked as to our actions. Allah says in Surah Yaseen,"Does not man see that We have created him from Nutfah (mixed male and female discharge semen drops).Yet behold! He (stand forth) as an open opponent."

The problem in society is that every one thinks they are better than every one else but in reality, this is far from the truth. We can never claim to be better than anyone else as we do not know our position infront of Allah. Allah will not at how 'good-looking' we are or how strong we are or how rich we are and surely, Allah doesn't look at your status amongst your fellow human being but Allah looks at your piety and good deeds. We see that nowadays it's a common problem that affects the youth mostly. Some people think that because we are driving the best cars, we naturally are better than anyone else. Stop! Think about it, will your car be able to outrun death or the punishment of Allah? Will your car save you on the Day of Qiyamah? Some people think, "I have big biceps, Iam better than everyone else!" But know my brother and sister, the prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said in a hadith,"The strong man is not the one is who is good at wrestling but strong man is he who controls himself in a fit of rage". It easier to knock some one out than to forgive someone, surely forgiveness is a very good attribute to have. You might be pushing 100kg in the gym but when it comes to Fajr prayer, are you able to lift that blanket that weighs less that 1kg off you? If you can't then that says everything. A strong person must have the abilty to fight his Nafs, he must be able to fight shaytaan, and he will only be able to do all this by seeking the help of Allah. We need to realise that we need Allah in everything. So why do we have to be arrogant when we are entirely dependent on Allah?

We can see from the examples of the Sahabas (may Allah be pleased with them) that they were the strongest men that walked upon the face of this world but yet they were always humble.We see some brothers and sometimes sisters too, they walk around as if they are mountains! Allah says in the Qur'an, "Do not walk on the earth in haughty style. You can neither tear the earth apart, nor can you match the mountains in height." So if a person cannot match this, how dare he walk with such arrogance? My brother and sisters arrogance is a sign of ignorance, because Allah looks not at how strong you are or how beautiful you are, or how rich you are; rather Allah looks at what is in your heart, Allah looks at your good deeds and your piety.

Arrogance is a disease my brothers and sisters, do we want Jannah or not? If yes then get rid of arrongance from your heart because a good Muslim is always humble no matter how strong, or how rich he is. He is always humble because he realises that his wealth, his strenghth will not help him when he will be in his grave, when the angels will ask him, "Who is your Lord? What is your religion? Who is the Prophet?" We think that these answers are easy now but know my brothers and sisters that if you didn't live your life in the obedience of Allah, you will not be able to answers these three questions. We must make dua that Allah protects us from this disease, because for sure it will destroy our herefafter. If we have one atoms weight of arrogance in our heart, we will not enter Jannah, a true believer realises that he is nothing but a creation that has been created from a drop of semen... is this really something to boast about?

I make dua that Allah makes these few words a means of guidance for all of us and I make dua that Allah protects us from arrongance. Ameen.

Importance of Keeping Good Company

ASSALAMUALAIKUM,

All praise is to ALLAH. May ALLAH shower his blessings and mercy on the seal of the prophets salallahu alayhi wa salam and muslim ummah who follow in his blessed footsteps.

The common problem amongst the youth of the current society is that they dont keep good company. It is very important that we keep good company. Ive seen personally the importance of keeping good friends, the effects of keeping good company will have a positive impact on your life. The hadith is on the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash'ari radiallahu anhu, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam
said:
A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace. (Bukhari)
　
Brothers and sisters we can see from the hadith that the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam showed the importance of keeping good friends and also the effect of it. We can see this for oursleves if we stay with some one for a long period of time, after some time, the quality of that person that we are with will be reflected in ourself.

Today alhumdullilah I am writting this article by ALLAH's will and mercy upon me because alhumdullilah I have been lucky enough to have the companionship of friends that have reminded me of what this world is about, they have helped me by ALLAH's mercy to show me what really needs to be done in order to achieve success in this world and the hereafter.

We should pray that ALLAH provides us with friends who want us to be amongst the dwellers of Jannah. So my brothers and sisters, I would like to remind you that a real friend is the one that wants you to be successful . We should choose who we make friends with, find people in whom you see the attributes of the sahabas radiallahu anhum. And know, It is better to remain alone than to be in bad companionship

My brothers and sisters, as Imam Shafi rahimahullah said, "this world is for a moment, so make that moment a moment of obedience." Human being always need to be reminded of what our purpose is in this world for ALLAH says in the Quran "I HAVE CREATED MANKIND AND JINNS ONLY TO WORSHIP ME", this ayah of the Quran shows us clearly what we must do in order to achieve Jannah. This is why it is very important to be in the company of the people that reminds us of our aim in this world. Brothers and sisters we need to make dua that ALLAH the Most Merciful bestowes His blessings on us by allowing us to be in the company of those people that are in His worships and that will remind us of what needs to be done in order to achieve success in this world and the hereafter.

I make dua that ALLAH gives jannah to that person who gave the opportunity to write this article and may ALLAH guide each and every one of us on the right path and may ALLAH give us friends that will help us to become good and pious muslims. AMEEEN

RAMADHAN MUBARAK brothers and sisters and do remember me in your duas Inshallah.

Reality Check!

Days are going by, weeks are going by and months are going by. Day in and day out the same things happen, the sun rises in the morning, and the sun sets in the evening. At the same time our years are passing by and our lives are getting shorter.

After my first year of college I remember countless times the conversation amongst us would be along the lines, "...maaan college is missions, I wish we could go back to the kelmscott days (secondary school)." It's funny when we say such statements even though we know there's no chance of us going back, but we just have false hopes of returning to those years because it was a lot more easier than the years we are in at the moment.

When a person leaves primary school, after doing his SATs, he then moves on to secondary school and he knows there's no chance of going back. When a person leaves secondary school and heads to college with his GCSEs, he knows there's no chance of going back to change the results he received. When a person receives his results for his A-levels he heads to university for whatever course is available for him and he realises there's no chance of him going back to that same college to re-do those same years he done there. Similarly the examples can go on and on of the doors that open and close in life. We enter through one door and then soon after we leave through another door and then that door is sealed shut behind us. One door which we all entered together, was the door of being in this world. And just like one day we left primary school then secondary school and then college and we knew there was no chance of going back to change the results that we got, is the same way that when you leave this world it's like closing a door behind you which has no handle for you to pull open again. Whatever results you receive on that day when you die, is what you will have to make do with and then there will be no chance of going back. It's a fact that today in the year 2009 we are all here alive and well, alhamdulilah, but that might not be the case in 2100. The world will carry on, wars will still be occuring but for you and I, we won't even be able to move a muscle. If you think about this deeply then a certain reality will hit you.

When a person dies, then he's closed one door behind him and that door will be locked shut. You won't have no choice but you will obey the will of your Lord, and you will enter the door of the grave. In here is another reality, because you will be on your own with your deeds around you and your eyes will see things they've never seen before. Again, you will have a set time in the grave then that door of the grave will close too. This time you and the entire creation of Allah Ta'ala will be destroyed by the sound of the horn of the angel Israfeel alayhis salaam and then even he Israfeel alayhis salaam will be destroyed. For an approximate period of 40 years or more, Allah will be the only Being in existence and nothing else. Allah is the Real Power and the Real Might. Allah is the Eternal One, and the One to whom we will return to. This is all the truth of reality. All of these events will come to pass and that's when we will finally be resurrected and given the greatest exam of our life. On that Day Allah himself will say, "Whose is the Kingdom this Day?" (Allah Himself will reply to His Question); "It is Allah's, the One, the Irresistible!" (Surah Ghafir, verse 16).

This life is a series of doors that open and close which will carry on even when you die. The last of doors which we will enter, will be the doors of Jannah, InshAllah. And when those doors are closed then you wouldn't even want to go back!

It is the desire of every human to obtain success. Nobody wants to be a failure in life. Different people have different views of success. Some view success as being wealthy and rich. Some view success as having fast cars and making the most of this life that they were given. Whatever the views are of people the ultimate success which nobody can doubt is obtaining entry into Jannah without any punishment of this world or the hereafter. To achieve this, is where your efforts will come in handy. The same way those who will receive grade A's in their A-levels, generally put alot of effort into getting those grades over the last 2 years they spent in college, is the same way that those who put effort and the word is, "effort", into practising the Deen of Allah, will surely receive the good grades of Jannah before them. No effort for the Deen of Allah will go to waste in the Sight of Allah, and that's a fact.


The following is a qoute I made when writing this piece, not that it's anything special.

"I'm alive today and I'll die tommorow, I'm not alive tomorrow because I died today. "