Saturday 19 May 2012

Reflections on 'Rinsing' Guys and Glamour Models


Bismillahir rahmanir raheem.

A few days ago, news reached me of a TV programme that was broadcasted in relation to a few supermodels who have used their appearances and sex appeal to draw some benefits and gifts from the opposite gender. At first, I didn't pay that much attention to it but over the last few days, I have noticed that it has sparked such uproar, that many people have written about it. In fact, such was the uproar, that it sparked a Twitter storm causing 50,000 tweets.  After reading through some of these articles (which contained tweets and public comments), I viewed a couple of short clips of the episode and it truly upset me and made a deep impact upon my heart.

After reading much feedback and trying to grasp many of the new concepts, there were three areas I recognised as being important to address; 1. Women and their role models 2. Men and how lowly they can become 3. Hayaa (modesty)

In brief, let me just summarise the issue; the theme of this documentary highlights the lives of various glamour models who are apparently extremely successful but they do not have any such profession. As a result, they use their beauty to entice rich (or reasonably rich) men who then in turn give them money and buy them extremely expensive gifts. This is not to say that the problem in its entirety lies with the women, men who welcome the idea of spending thousands on women who do not even care for them deserve to be hit with the harsh clap of reality; but more on that later.

My first area of worry was in relation to our own respected and dear sisters in Islam. Despite many women (whom I applaud) condemning the models in the documentary,  I noticed how some women were writing messages of support after watching these models rake money in. Many went to the extent of saying that such action was justified and quite beneficial. As a Muslim, let alone a Muslima, such actions are quite simply far from our religion. How can it bring a person happiness, to hoard wealth in a fashion which is against morality and free from any ethics? It does not even need a Muslim to highlight that such behaviour is wrong, many non Muslims are correctly condemning such doings on social networking websites. 

Thus, it's necessary to disregard such glamour models and looks for some role models for all that glitters is not gold. When you take away the glitz and the thrill of what these women are doing and you lay their purpose out, it is quite simply abhorrent.  How can it be acceptable, to not work for the money you gain but to take it from the hand of a person who is vulnerable due to his desires? Alhamdulillah, our deen has taught us from the very beginning to be people of pioneering nature who are not reliant on the money of others. Such people who exert their limbs in noble work, utilise their capacity in all fields and be dignified in their search for wealth. This was taught to us by our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam. In a narration related by Abu Dawud, a man came to Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam and he had nothing in his possession except a piece of cloth (half of which was to be worn and the other half was to be used as a spread) and a bowl. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam told him to bring both possessions to him; consequently, they were brought and the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam auctioned them off for 2 dirhams (silver coins). He gave the man the two coins and told him to spend one upon the sustenance of his family and the other coin should be used to purchase an axe. In fact, the axe was brought to Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam and he fixed the handle; he then commanded the man that he should go and gather firewood (by utilising the axe) and should not return until 2 weeks later. When the man returned, he had accumulated 10 silver coins. It was at this juncture that the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “This is better for you than the (act of) begging should come as a blemish on your face on the Day of Judgment. Begging is right only for three people: one who is in grinding poverty, one who is seriously in debt, or one who is responsible for compensation and finds it difficult to pay. (i.e. extremely dire circumstances)”.

Having understood this hadith, it is important to highlight the work ethic that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam would inculcate within the Companions. Respect for a person is when that person acquires sustenance in a respectable and dignified manner. What respect is there in a person who hoards money by using their sexual prowess as a means of asking men for gifts? A person may achieve their goal and gain quite a bit from lustful men but where is the taste of prosperity in their wealth? It is free from any blessing, free from any satisfaction, free from any dignity.

Thus it is important to urge our sisters to be such women, who study hard throughout their youth and become women who are intellectually astute, morally sound and highly modest. When such characteristics are found within a woman, she is not in need of stooping to such lows.

The second advice is in relation to my dear Muslim brothers; we have become too weak in relation to our desire for the opposite gender. There are many who are all too willing to give time, wealth and affection to women who are not even halal for them. Many Muslim men are spending their money on women whom they have never met; their only source of interaction with these glamour models etc has been through adult entertainment sources. In an attempt to win the admiration of these women, many men are emptying out their wallets in buying gifts which would be more rewarding for them had they spent their wealth on their family members instead. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, "When a Muslim spends on his family in anticipation of a reward, it is sadaqa for him." (Al Adabul Mufrad) I.e. when a man spends on his family members, he is rewarded immensely. Furthermore, in this documentary, men were spending thousands on these women; Allahu Akbar! There are people in this world who are in extreme need, they are literally walking on the banks of destruction and they have no person to feed them. Yet, we would rather give money to women who are quite simply ‘users’ (matlab parast) as opposed to the millions who are dying of hunger. 

Our priorities in life must be sorted out. On the Day of Qiyamah, the feet of a person will not move until he has answered 5 questions; two of which are: Where did you acquire your wealth? Where did you spend your wealth? Every single person will have to answer for every single penny he spent, what will be the state of that person who did not care for his zakah but was enthusiastic upon spending his wealth in shameful places? What answer will he give to Allah? Thus, it is important for us to build this fear within us.

Lastly, in relation to a man, we need to stop being ‘suckers’ for everything that tickles our fancy. We have to build up our defences, it shouldn’t be the case that a pretty woman batters her eyelashes and we feel the need to rescue the damsel in distress. There is a need to become prudent in such matters and ignore that which is of no benefit. When a person becomes desperate in regards to the other gender, he loses his respect in the eyes of people.

Finally, I wanted to mention the topic of modesty. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has said that Hayaa (modesty) is a branch of faith. In another place he has said, “Every nation has a trait and the trait of my nation is modesty” (Muwatta). He has also said, “Vulgarity does not exist in something except that it makes it repulsive and modesty does not exist in something except that it beautifies it.”  In fact, even men are given the example of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam who was described as being more bashful than a veiled virgin within her quarters.

Modesty is quite simply that thing which prevents a person from doing anything hideous. He is constantly shy and is afraid what people might think. Moreover, he is most shy of Allah Ta’ala. As a result, he shies away; take the example of a pious person, when all of his friends are going to a club, he rejects because his modesty stops him from entering such places. Thus, the more we increase in our modesty, the greater we become in distinguishing immoral activities from moral deeds. This is a characteristic which should be in us all (men and women) but it seems extremely distant from such women who are involved in ‘rinsing’ activities. The likes of Asmaa bint Abi Bakr radiallahu anhumaa was such that one day she was carrying a huge weight of harvest on her shoulders towards her house which was at a distance. The Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam passed by with a group of men; the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam was her brother in law and offered to take her home by sitting her on his horse but she refused the offer and said, “I am shy that I travel amongst the men”. Such women are models, the great role models to have ever walked the earth.

May Allah Ta’ala give us all the ability to recognise that which is the Haqq as Haqq and then bless us with the ability to follow it. And may He give us the ability to recognise that which is false as false and bless us with the ability to stay away from it. May He, out of His kindness, endow us with the characteristics of our beloved Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam, and beautify us with the characteristic of modesty. Ameen.

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