The Sinister...'Far Away, Distant' Feeling

That ‘far away, distant' feeling is something that comes to us all every now and then. This is that feeling, where everything feels blurred and everything seems distant. It seems that everybody is getting on with something or the other and you seem to be standing still; it just feels that you are stuck in a time and place from which you can’t get out of! An example of this to a lower degree can be seen in a student who is sitting in an exam hall; he sees everybody around him doing something but his brain feels to blunt to think of something and his stomach begins to churn as he sees his time is running out.

The reality of this all is that different incidents in a person’s life can trigger of this feeling. Sometimes, an abundance of work and pressure could be the cause; at other stages panic and anxiety could be a reason. Sometimes desperation could settle into oneself and many times, all these factors come together to hit insaan for a six! He then becomes like that cricket ball which has been hit out of the stadium and is sitting outside in the car park all by itself, waiting for somebody to pick it up and bring it back to its rightful place (i.e. the pitch). Similarly, when life is moving so fast around us and we feel completely dazed, we too need someone to take us by the hand and put our hearts’ at ease.

This feeling is an emotion that comes to us regularly and perhaps more so as we grow up and less so as we reach an elderly age. As a person grows, his responsibilities increase and he finds himself juggling between those actions which he must do (whether he likes it or not) and those actions which he likes to do (as a hobby). During his life, he will find himself constantly balancing between the two. When a person starts taking too much on, he finds himself bewildered at the sheer pace of life. There seems to be too many things happening and too little time to analyse them all.

In some instances, an issue of great magnitude such as a person’s death is placed in front of us which totally sweeps our feet from beneath us. Another example could be of a person who is planning to get married; he may be preparing for months on end but as the time to tie the knot approaches, he begins to feel that there are many things which he hasn’t dealt with! In both situations, a person is left befuddled and perplexed.

And in some instances, a person can want to feel far away from everything! When a person constantly sees ‘snakes’ from amongst his dear ones and dark evil in his surroundings, one naturally wants to curl up into a ball and stay in one corner. Sometimes sadness comes to us in abundance and the only reprieve seems to be in the darkness of a silent room. Thus, the far away feeling occurs because a person doesn’t want to feel close to the action.

Finally, you have others who experience the far away feeling because they are quite simply potty! This is when a person is just to foolish to do what is good for himself and continues doing stupid things which prove to be a hindrance to his existence! An example I hear you say? Take the example of a person who wastes his life in a shisha cafe; everyday he wakes up, he does the same thing. He brushes his teeth, wears his jacket, takes money from his parents and follows his friends (who may also be potty) into a shisha cafe. He thereafter wastes pound after pound in buying drinks, coals, snacks etc. The most bizarre thing of all is that this very same person has a career defining exam the following day and he should be revising! As a result, he sits in the exam hall the next day and all he can do is squirm in his chair when he sees his classmates around him pencilling in their exam papers at speed.

So how can a person stop this feeling or get out of it? There are a variety of things he can do. Below are just a few:

• Stop feeling sorry for yourself – sometimes a person needs to slap himself (not literally) and pull his socks up. For how long will a person feel sorry about himself and watch the people around him be successful and not be a part of that success himself? A person must produce unyielding efforts to break away from the vicious cycle of self pity and sorrow.

• Grab hold of a good friend to help you – sometimes we can’t see how deep we are in a situation. At times we exaggerate our problems and at other times, we play matters which are of huge relevance down. When we have the ‘far away feeling’ we should confide this matter in a close, loving, knowledgeable friend. We should explain to him, “I need you to help me pick myself up and make use of my time.” This feeling can bring much sadness to a person which in turn brings a fatigued, lazy ethos. We need to tell our close friend, “When you see me wasting my life away, pull me together and slap me (literally)!”

• Get up and go – have some ‘get up and go’ about yourself. You may find that nobody can help you; that should not send you into a murky abyss. Rather, fortify your intentions and make something of yourself.

• Take the advices from the Qur’an and the Hadith - While the Qur’an cheers up a saddened soul, it also has great advices to push a person in the right direction. Similarly, the words of our Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam have great blessings; he himself would say, ‘I am a source of peace for my companions’. Thus, if we engross ourselves by becoming his companions (i.e. by studying his words), his invigorating shadow will extend over us also.

• Make lots of dua – only Allah Ta’ala is the One who can take us out of the darkness we see before us. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path.” The court of Allah Ta’ala isn’t like a shop which has opening and closing hours; it is open all hours. The court of Allah Ta’ala is like that shop which has everything a person could need and more; he just needs to pre-order through his dua and Allah Ta’ala will send him what he requires. The postage, packaging and delivery depends on that person’s sincerity in his dua but when does eventually receives it, five star customer satisfaction is guaranteed!

May Allah Ta’ala grant us all aafiyat and make our hardships easy for us. Ameen, ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Don't Be A 'Quitter'

Different people are affected mentally by different things. Different situations bring out different characteristics from within a person. Sometimes people are presented with a task which they are not comfortable with but they still dig deep (make huge efforts) in order to complete it. On the other hand there are other people who maintain a ‘give up’ mentality; and that is when a difficult situation is presented before them, they immediately feel it is impossible and beyond the boundaries of reality. As a result, they quit at the first hurdle and decide not to push themselves towards the attainment of their goals. This mentality can be simply put as, “When the going gets tough... I quit.”

As Muslims, when we do not understand how to do something our mentality should not be ‘I quit’. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam and the Companions radiallahu anhum were presented with the severest of tasks. They were presented with tasks of huge magnitude but they did not carry this ‘I quit’ perception in their pockets. Rather, they had unerring fortitude and belief that they will complete their goals. Had they quit at the first hurdle, then how would this deen come to us? Likewise, it is seen over the period of history that the religion of Allah ‘azza wa jal has not been carried by people who had low self esteem and will power. Rather Allah Ta’ala has specifically chosen special souls to do the service of His religion because of their resolute nature. The greatest honour a person can have in this world is to serve this faith we have been gifted with in whatever way possible; whether it be that a person becomes a doctor and helps humanity or that he becomes a scholar and guides people towards the straight path, the basis of our existence is to serve the deen and this can only be done by men and women of strong, resolute, pioneering character.

When a person is presented a task which is outside of his ‘comfort zone’ he immediately begins to think about all his weaknesses. For example, sometimes a person may be asked to read a book out aloud to his class as part of class reading. As soon as this task has been delegated to him, he immediately begins a conversation within his own self along the lines of, “What if I make a mistake? People will laugh at me and think that I am stupid. Some of these English words are looking really big, what if I say it funny and people giggle?” These types of thought are all fuelling and whisperings from shaytaan khabees and should be ignored (say a’uzoo billahi min ash shaytaanir rajeem). When a person begins to think too much about a specific task, he makes it more complex than it really is. One dear friend of mine once advised me to make big things appear to be small so that the pressure is also reduced.

If we are struggling to perform a certain task than our state should not be that we hold our hands up and say, “I can’t do this!” Rather we should look at the task and say, “I do not have the knowledge on how to do this properly just yet but I will learn very quickly and then attempt to do this again.” It is very important to be optimistic at all times as opposed to being pessimistic and negative. When a person is optimistic and hopeful, he begins to brim with confidence and self belief. This will aid him hugely in completing his difficult task as he has already won half the battle which is within his mind. If our condition is such that we begin shaking at the mere possibility of each task then we will run away from it for as long as we live and we will never gain the experience to overcome our ‘teething troubles’ so as to speak.

Sometimes, to produce a resolute and stalwart characteristics within oneself is really hard, especially if the person is a soft person by nature. In situations such as these, my humble advice would be to use my ‘goli maro bhai’ (fire a bullet to the world) method. A person should not think too much and work by the spur of the moment. It is like when we get an injection from the nurse. We look at the needle and begin to get so scared. Sometimes people begin to cry just by seeing the needle that Allah bachai, this nurse is going to do my zabah (sacrifice)! Then when the time comes we know we can’t get away from it so we close our eyes and hope for the best but as soon as the needle comes in and out, the first words we say are, “That didn’t hurt you know.” This is spur of the moment ‘goli maro’ theory.

May Allah Ta’ala give us all the ability to strengthen our resolve and be from those people who achieve our ambitions. May He take great service of deen from us. Ameen.

The Origins of Evil Thoughts & How To Defend Oneself

Evil thoughts are natural to mankind. Before every intentional sin is carried out, a person has the scope to sit down and think about it. Many people keep questioning themselves as to why they keep on committing various sins but fail to find a reason. This is because they are looking at the sin itself along with its magnitude and not at the manner in which it materialised. For example, when we look at successful footballers, we look directly towards their success and fancy skills; we do not look at the hardship and sacrifice which they perhaps endured to reach that level and as a result, the struggles that they tolerated prior to their success is forgotten. In the same manner, we commit great sins but we are so distracted by the magnitude of the sin that we forget the initial stages that led up to it. Hence, it is important to know the routes of these thoughts.

Ibn Allaan Siddiqi mentions in ‘Riyadus Saliheen li Tareeq Daleel al Faliheen',

واعلم أن ما يقع في النفس من قصد المعصية على خمس مراتب: الأولى: الهاجس وهو ما يلقى فيها. ثم جريانه فيها وهو الخاطر. ثم حديث النفس وهو ما يقع فيها من التردد هل يفعل أو لا. ثم الهمّ وهو قصد ترجيح الفعل. ثم العزم وهو قوة ذلك القصد والجزم به

“Know that the intention to sin which is felt by the inner self is of five stages:

The first is a mere uncertainty (haajis) which is placed there in.

Then comes the passing of this uncertainty (into a proper idea) and that is known as katir (risk).

Then it is the conversation of the inner self (hadeethun nafs) and its hesitation in whether deciding to do the sin or not.

Then is the intention (hum) and that is an intention which is inclined to the deed.

And the final step is determination (azm) and that is a firm resolution to carry out the intention and assertiveness upon it.”

It is important to recognise the thought during the early stages. It is important to remove these thoughts while the intention and attraction of the sin is weak. During the first two stages, the thoughts should be ignored and cast away. A person at this stage should seek refuge in Allah Ta’ala by ‘a’udhu billahi min ash shaytaanir rajeem’ and then should ignore the deed.

When it gets to the third stage, a person should try to move away from the place which may be a means of him committing sin. For example, if a person is hesitant as to whether or not he should flirt with a girl he is attracted to, he should move away from that place so the choice of doing the sin is no longer the there. Whenever we are presented with a 50/50 choice in doing something sinful, we should try our utmost to remove this choice and push the possibility of sin out of the way.

At this juncture, it is useful to mention that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam said, “Allah has forgiven my Ummah of the whisperings of their souls so long as they do not talk about it or act accordingly.”

The first three stages are forgiven and there is no accountability with regards to them. Now remains the last two stages.

The stage of inclination towards the deed is a very difficult one. This is that time when a person’s mind and heart is taken over with a strong desire to do the sin but there is still an inkling of wanting to ignore it. For example, a person may be so angry with another that he wants to hit them and he cannot get on with his life until he says or does something to cause pain. However, in his heart there is an understanding that it would be incorrect to carry out the deed but this is overpowered by the desire of committing the sin. Quite simply, this could be described as when the inner self is inclined 80/20 in doing the sin. This state will only become sinful when a person take is to the final stage which will soon be discussed.

Due to the need of our times, it is important to note that the shamelessly fantasizing and conjuring illicit thoughts of the other sex also falls into this category and a person will be at sin if he/she continues to dwell on such lustful thoughts. Though this is a thought, it is still deemed sinful due to the haram desires which are fulfilled by it. It is important to keep the mind clean and this can be done by making zikr.

In general, when a person gets to this 80/20 stage, he should try do perform wudhu and make constant zikr. It is a necessity for him to move away from the sin and he should beseech Allah Ta’ala to protect him by the way of dua or by calling out to Allah Ta'ala through his heart. By making wudhu, a person can sometimes snap himself out of the hypnotic trance which may be dominant over him. This will bring him to reality and understand the scale of the sin he is about to commit.

Finally is the stage where a person becomes determined to commit the sin. This is a stage where we should try our best to not even reach. We should try stopping our thoughts before they get to this stage. It is like a person who is tip toeing around the banks of destruction, sooner or later he wil fall in. It is the hardest stage to stop. The strength of wanting to succumb to our evil thoughts becomes so strong that a person is no longer able to stop it from happening. He is as good as committing the sin. Mankind will not be held culpable until he reaches this final stage.

A person should constantly make dua’a to Allah Ta’ala to keep him steadfast and strong, especially in defending himself from sin. The heart is unpredictable, sometimes it will make a person feel as if he is as firm as the likes of Umar radiallahu anhu and at other times, the heart will tear his spirituality into pieces until he is left shattered like broken glass. The reality of this is that the heart fluctuates in accordance to the deeds that we do. Whilst our heart is clean and adorned with the worship of Allah Ta’ala, it will feel light and jolly. When sins becomes dominant and our heart constantly acquiesces and surrenders to evil, then our spirituality will be sent plummeting and we will feel the burden of sadness and low esteem. Due to the unpredictable nature of the heart, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam taught his Ummah supplications in order to keep them aright. For example,

يَا مُقَلِّبَ القُلُوْبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِيْ عَلى دِيْنِك
“O Turner of the hearts, make my heart firm on Your religion.”

We should make dua in abundance, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam has mentioned that the dua is the weapon of a believer. Evil thoughts bring harm and problems to a believer so it would make complete sense that in order to fight these thoughts, one should make constant dua to Allah Ta’ala to strengthen his/her resolve.

May Allah Ta’ala give me the ability to act upon what I have said and may He give us all the ability to refrain from surrendering to our evil thoughts. Ameen.

Being Tested in Life

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Patience is amongst one of the best characteristics an individual can possess. My brothers and sisters, this life is a test and as we know, no tests are easy unless we have prepared to face them. For example, if we have an exam to do, the only way we can get ready for this exam is by revising. In the same way, this life throws a lot of tests at us and in these testing times, who do we turn to as Muslim? My brothers and sisters, we should turn to Allah the Solver of all problems.

When we are being tested we should show a lot of patience for Allah says in the Holy Qu'ran, " O you who believe, strengthen yourselves with resolution and prayer. Indeed Allah is with those who persevere in adversity (Surah Baqarah verse 153)", we can see from this verse of the Quran that in times of adversity we should turn to Allah and be strong. We should not let anything make us weak but on the contrary we should show strength for Allah loves a strong believer more that he loves a weak believer. We should be strong at all times and how do we strengthen ourselves? My brothers and sisters we should turn to our Lord Allah and Inshallah by the power He will give us, we will gain the strength to face the problems that we are facing.

At the same time we have to show patience, for Allah loves those who shows patience. Allah says in the Qur'an," O you who believe, seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely ALLAH is with the patient(Al-Baqarah 2:216)", we can see from this verse of Qur'an that we need to be patient at all time. My brothers and sisters patience is beautiful, never give up on Alla's help, we have to put trust in Allah at all time.

We should always seek Allah's help in all matters, we hear a lot of people saying that we make dua but Allah is not accepting our dua! We should realise that Allah has no problems in giving, it is the way we ask. When we are asking Allah to help us, we should ask with full conviction and faith that Allah will help us. And how can we do that? The more we work on our Imaan, the more faith we are going to have in Allah. We have to show patience at all times and when Allah tests us we should take it as an opportunity for us to get closer to Allah. We should know that when Allah loves someone He tests that person to some extent.

My brothers and sisters, at all times, whenever we are going through hardships ...we must turn to Allah and know that Allah never burdens someone more that he can handle. Allah is Just, we need to put our faith in Allah and be patient. We should see the hardships we are going through as a blessing in disguise because in reality if our imaan is strong, its going to get stronger because we know that only Allah can solve our problems. Due to this, we will be making more dua and praying and all this is only going to make us get closer to Allah! Thus our Imaan will increase ,but at the same time we should always remember Allah all the time... not just in time of need.

I make dua that Allah makes us strong and increase our imaan.

Ameen