Reading Too Hard Inbetween Lines

This is a topic that I have been wishing to write for a while. There is an illness that many people have and that is reading too hard in to a situation or as the proverb is, “reading too hard inbetween the lines”. This proverb quite simply means that a person looks into a matter so thoroughly that his own minds concocts an entire ‘conspiracy’ against himself. They read so hard into things that they place negative ideas into words that were never meant to be offensive! Let me give you an example:

Balqees has got a new blue hijab. A sister by the name of Bulbuli who knows her sees this hijab and merely exclaims “It is a nice hijab but I would not wear it.” Balqees immediately sends her mind into overdrive and thinks of all possibilities as to why this comment has been made. She will now go through all scenarios and will draw up a conclusion that will immediately put Bulbuli in the wrong. Poor Bulbuli was only saying this because she does not like the colour blue but now Balqees will keep thinking this is because Bulbuli has something against her style and clothing. Like this, she will hold some resentment in her heart.

This is a very bad ailment that is in the Muslim ummat today. Many people aren’t allowed to breathe because there are people in the community who will instantly state on every given occasion, “it seems that you are hinting something”. However, some people are of an extremely pious nature and their humility is such that whenever a word of caution is said with regards to deen, they immediately feel that it is to do with them. These people are not mischief makers, they are people who have reached such a high level of spirituality that people like myself could only wish for. The example of these people is like the following example:

Balqees and Bulbuli walk past a group of people who are dropping litter, “It is very bad when people drop litter.” Bulbuli has so much fear of Allah Ta’ala that she immediately thinks about whether she has dropped anything that day. Though this comment was not targeted for her, she instantly reacts to it because of her worry and fear of Allah Ta’ala.

This is an excellent trait to have. Then there are other people who perhaps may be guilty and whenever something is mentioned, they feel that it is instantly applicable to them and that people are having a dig at them and as a result, they become extremely rude and defensive. These are people who think the world revolves around them and this is a very bad trait to have. It leads one to arrogance and thinking that he is superior and that his mere existence is on the minds of others when in reality he is a mere dot. The example of this person is as follows:

Balqees and Bulbuli are sitting with their friend Shelpi. Shelpi had recently smoked a ciggie but this was in secret and nobody knew. Balqees and Bulbuli are having a nice Islamic discussion with regards to how foul smoking is. Shelpi hears this and instantly feels that her two friends are ganging up on her and found out somehow. She begins to think about all the possible avenues for them finding out. She retraces her steps to where she had smoked and is now analysing whether it was possible for anyone to see her. She then thinks some more and comes to the conclusion that while she had gone into the toilet, Balqees and Bulbuli searched her bag to find these cigarettes. As a result of this, she gets angry and begins to resent her two friends immensely. Her heart becomes a vessel of hatred and whenever she thinks about those two, her stomach boils with feelings of betrayal. Of course, Shelpi is quite simply off her rocker!

The remedy is quite simple, a person must stop thinking that the world revolves around them. A level of maturity and self reflection should be left in a person that he can distinguish between a normal statement and a malicious statement. Otherwise his company and companionship will be a means of pain and stress for his friend. He will feel that his companions every utterance is something to scrutinise. Sooner or later, his friends will become sick and tired of him and would rather not know him or be with him. This is quite simply the result of jumping the barrel.

The advice to people who have friends such as this is straight forward. You must exercise tolerance and constantly lower the wings of humility. Remember this lifelong lesson, when confronted by a complete plank... just nod and smile...nod and smile. And make duaa that Allah Haqq Tabaraka wa Ta’ala helps them to change and us all.

May Allah Ta’ala give us the ability to be tolerant and know our true ranks among the people. Ameen.