The Sinister...'Far Away, Distant' Feeling

That ‘far away, distant' feeling is something that comes to us all every now and then. This is that feeling, where everything feels blurred and everything seems distant. It seems that everybody is getting on with something or the other and you seem to be standing still; it just feels that you are stuck in a time and place from which you can’t get out of! An example of this to a lower degree can be seen in a student who is sitting in an exam hall; he sees everybody around him doing something but his brain feels to blunt to think of something and his stomach begins to churn as he sees his time is running out.

The reality of this all is that different incidents in a person’s life can trigger of this feeling. Sometimes, an abundance of work and pressure could be the cause; at other stages panic and anxiety could be a reason. Sometimes desperation could settle into oneself and many times, all these factors come together to hit insaan for a six! He then becomes like that cricket ball which has been hit out of the stadium and is sitting outside in the car park all by itself, waiting for somebody to pick it up and bring it back to its rightful place (i.e. the pitch). Similarly, when life is moving so fast around us and we feel completely dazed, we too need someone to take us by the hand and put our hearts’ at ease.

This feeling is an emotion that comes to us regularly and perhaps more so as we grow up and less so as we reach an elderly age. As a person grows, his responsibilities increase and he finds himself juggling between those actions which he must do (whether he likes it or not) and those actions which he likes to do (as a hobby). During his life, he will find himself constantly balancing between the two. When a person starts taking too much on, he finds himself bewildered at the sheer pace of life. There seems to be too many things happening and too little time to analyse them all.

In some instances, an issue of great magnitude such as a person’s death is placed in front of us which totally sweeps our feet from beneath us. Another example could be of a person who is planning to get married; he may be preparing for months on end but as the time to tie the knot approaches, he begins to feel that there are many things which he hasn’t dealt with! In both situations, a person is left befuddled and perplexed.

And in some instances, a person can want to feel far away from everything! When a person constantly sees ‘snakes’ from amongst his dear ones and dark evil in his surroundings, one naturally wants to curl up into a ball and stay in one corner. Sometimes sadness comes to us in abundance and the only reprieve seems to be in the darkness of a silent room. Thus, the far away feeling occurs because a person doesn’t want to feel close to the action.

Finally, you have others who experience the far away feeling because they are quite simply potty! This is when a person is just to foolish to do what is good for himself and continues doing stupid things which prove to be a hindrance to his existence! An example I hear you say? Take the example of a person who wastes his life in a shisha cafe; everyday he wakes up, he does the same thing. He brushes his teeth, wears his jacket, takes money from his parents and follows his friends (who may also be potty) into a shisha cafe. He thereafter wastes pound after pound in buying drinks, coals, snacks etc. The most bizarre thing of all is that this very same person has a career defining exam the following day and he should be revising! As a result, he sits in the exam hall the next day and all he can do is squirm in his chair when he sees his classmates around him pencilling in their exam papers at speed.

So how can a person stop this feeling or get out of it? There are a variety of things he can do. Below are just a few:

• Stop feeling sorry for yourself – sometimes a person needs to slap himself (not literally) and pull his socks up. For how long will a person feel sorry about himself and watch the people around him be successful and not be a part of that success himself? A person must produce unyielding efforts to break away from the vicious cycle of self pity and sorrow.

• Grab hold of a good friend to help you – sometimes we can’t see how deep we are in a situation. At times we exaggerate our problems and at other times, we play matters which are of huge relevance down. When we have the ‘far away feeling’ we should confide this matter in a close, loving, knowledgeable friend. We should explain to him, “I need you to help me pick myself up and make use of my time.” This feeling can bring much sadness to a person which in turn brings a fatigued, lazy ethos. We need to tell our close friend, “When you see me wasting my life away, pull me together and slap me (literally)!”

• Get up and go – have some ‘get up and go’ about yourself. You may find that nobody can help you; that should not send you into a murky abyss. Rather, fortify your intentions and make something of yourself.

• Take the advices from the Qur’an and the Hadith - While the Qur’an cheers up a saddened soul, it also has great advices to push a person in the right direction. Similarly, the words of our Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam have great blessings; he himself would say, ‘I am a source of peace for my companions’. Thus, if we engross ourselves by becoming his companions (i.e. by studying his words), his invigorating shadow will extend over us also.

• Make lots of dua – only Allah Ta’ala is the One who can take us out of the darkness we see before us. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path.” The court of Allah Ta’ala isn’t like a shop which has opening and closing hours; it is open all hours. The court of Allah Ta’ala is like that shop which has everything a person could need and more; he just needs to pre-order through his dua and Allah Ta’ala will send him what he requires. The postage, packaging and delivery depends on that person’s sincerity in his dua but when does eventually receives it, five star customer satisfaction is guaranteed!

May Allah Ta’ala grant us all aafiyat and make our hardships easy for us. Ameen, ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

Glad Tidings For The One Who Is Ill

Illness is something which we quite simply have no control over. Depending on the severity of the illness, a person can range from being merely annoyed to utterly distraught. However, let there be glad tidings for that slave who falls ill as Allah Ta’ala uses this illness as an excuse so as to expiate the sins of His slave.

How amazing is it that Allah Ta’ala has given us something positive in something which we dislike. There are many such examples in our Deen where Allah Ta’ala has exalted our status through something which is normally perceived as being disliked and petty. For example, if a person was to prostrate to another man, this would be a complete and utter disgrace. It would show the weakness, frailty and feebleness in a person that he is taking his forehead and placing it at the feet of another person. This idea of lowering one’s head for another can seem quite disgraceful however we prostrate towards Allah Ta’ala by taking the most honoured place of our body (i.e. our forehead from where we thinks and understand) and we place it on the floor by which Allah Ta’ala honours us with Jannah. Allah Ta’ala has made honour for us in something which people would normally perceive as being wrong. In the same way, Allah Ta’ala has favoured us and honoured us even when we are ill. Being ill is something that we obviously do not like but even whilst being ill, our sins are wiped away and our rewards are increased.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “A Muslim does not encounter fatigue, tiredness, concern, sorrow, injury or grief, or even a thorn which pricks him without Allah expiating his errors for him by that." Subhanallah! Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has mentioned several odd problems that could befall a Muslim and in every single one of them there is forgiveness from sins. The general idea here is that anything which displeases a Muslim is a source of mercy for him. Likewise, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam also said, “Affliction will continue to trouble the believers, men and women, in their bodies, their families and their property until they meet Allah Ta’ala purified of every wrong action."

Furthermore, illness is a sign of a person’s belief in Allah Ta’ala. Once, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam was discussing illness when a person asked, “What is illness? For I swear by Allah, I have never been ill!” Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Leave us! For indeed you are not one of us!” This is said because Allah Ta’ala gives illness to a person in order to wipe away his sin. In a narration mentioned in Abu Dawud, it is indicated that when a slave does not have the ability to do good deeds which will enter him into Jannah, Allah Ta’ala afflicts him with some temporary sadness or illness through which his sins will be erased and his good deeds increased. As a result, he is entered into Jannah. Again, Allah Ta’ala is looking excuse to forgive us. Thus, if a person falls ill, he should praise Allah Ta’ala in his heart and be happy that he has some sign of Iman within him.

One a Bedouin came into the company of Rasulullah salalallahu alayhi wasallam; Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam asked, “'Has Umm Mildam (fever) got hold of you?” The Bedouin replied, “What is Umm Mildam?” Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “It is the heat between the skin and the flesh.' The Bedouin said, “No.” Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Have you got a headache?” “What is headache?” the Bedouin asked. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam replied, “It is wind which gets into the head and beats the veins.” The Bedouin replied, “No (I have not experienced this). When he stood up, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “Whoever wants to look at a man who is one of the people of the Fire (i.e. let them look at that man.)”

In fact, on a side note, one hadith related in Tabrani, “Never does a Muslim get a headache except that Allah Ta’ala expiates his sin, writes for him rewards and elevates his rank.”

The bottom line here is that we should always ask Allah Ta’ala for security in our life. We should always make the dua, “O Allah, I ask you for forgiveness and security, in my religion, worldly life and hereafter.” Likewise, “O Allah, I ask you for to safe-keep my ears, my eyes and my body.” We should not hope for illness, rather we should take its coming as a sign of forgiveness from Allah Ta’ala.

Finally, my eyes fell over a nice piece on visiting the sick person written by Sheikh Fadhl ullahi Al-Jeelaani in his commentary Fadhl Allahi As-Samad fi Towdeehi Al-Adab Al Mufrad. If we visit a sick person, we should try to adhere to the following 10 points:

1. He does not face the door directly when asking for permission to enter. (i.e. he is not trying to be nosy and see what is going on inside).

2. He opens and closes the door softly. (i.e. He doesn’t start banging doors and disturbing people.)

3. He does not try to remain anonymous. (i.e. When a person is asked, “Who is it?” he doesn’t respond by saying, “Me!”. This brings no clarity and is a source of annoyance to the sick person as well as those around him).

4. He should not come at an inappropriate time. (i.e. he should not come when it is obvious the sick person needs feeding etc).

5. He should not sit for too long except when it pleases the sick person. (i.e. sometimes, people overstay their visit and this over burdens the sick person but he may feel too shy to say anything. He may need some rest in order to preserve his energy but sometimes, useless chatter diminishes this. However, the case of a person who pleases the heart is different. Generally, when the beloved is near, the heart forgets all of it's sorrows. On a side note, I remember one brief story of Layla & Majnoo. Majnoo was so infatuated on Layla that news of this came to the Qadhi (judge) who immediately stipulated 100 lashes (whipping, pitai) for Majnoo. As a result, Majnoo was hit 100 times but to the amazement of the people, he did not let out a single yell. It was as if he was in a trance; however, when he was hit with the last lash, he let out an almighty yell! The people were amazed and thus asked him, "You received 99 lashes and did not utter even whimper but on the 100th lash, you screamed so loud?! Why is this?!" He replied, "My beloved Layla was watching me from her balcony and I was looking at her. Whilst she was there, I was lost in her and so I did not feel any pain; on the 99th whip, she turned and left as the punishment was to end. When she left, I came back to reality." Thus, it is always nice to have the beloved visit when one is sick.)

6. He should lower his gaze from the sick person (i.e. if the person has some apparent illness on the body, the visitor should not fix his eyes upon it as if to show some shock. :-| <-- like that)

7. He should not question the sick person excessively. (i.e. this can become tiresome).

8. He should show sympathy. (i.e. sympathy shows softness and care).

9. He should make sincere dua.

10. He should give him some words of encouragement so it strengthens the ill person’s resolve. (i.e. many people go and visit the sick people and instead of giving them encouragement, they say, “Oh dear! You look terrible!” This doesn’t do any good to the moral of the ill person; rather it convinces him that he is in a truly poor state. This in effect gives a huge psychological blow to the ill person and at times can break his resolve. Thus we should give words of encouragement to build the resolve of the sick person).

May Allah Ta’ala give us all good health. Ameen.

Poetry: It will all be alright in the end

It will all be alright in the end,
Your tears will begin to dry.
You’re life will be on the mend,
There will be no need to cry.

How many times have you been in pain,
To notice that sympathy seems to sound the same.
The clouds always seems to drizzle with rain,
Yet there is nobody to withstand the burden of blame.

The heart begins to cry, searching for someone to implore,
In every direction you walk, there seems to be a locked door.
The eyes begin to burn, a river of desperation wanting to trickle,
When loneliness becomes a companion, the mind becomes fickle.

Lift up your hands and use them as a key,
Cry, beseech, request – you will be showered in mercy.
Your Lord knows very well of your immense sadness,
If you do not ask of Him, it is your own madness.

How many a time before, have you lost all hope,
With feelings of despair, more than you can cope?
Yet He helped you then, and He helps you now,
By ways and means which left you asking how.

Use not your hands for sins but raise them to converse,
When you reveal the contents of your heart, you need not rehearse.
He hears what you ask for and sees what you make apparent,
You cannot hide your feelings, your heart becomes transparent.

Your tears will being to dry, when His light illuminates your life,
You will find an escape, you can bid farewell to your strife.
But first, recognise Him; let not your intelligence rot,
He was always caring for you, you were never forgot.

"Whoever fears Allah, He brings forth a way out for him, and provides him (with what he needs) from where he does not even imagine. And whoever places his trust in Allah, He is sufficient for him. Surely Allah is to accomplish His purpose. Allah has set a measure for everything." [Surah Talaq 65:2,3]

Being Tested in Life

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Patience is amongst one of the best characteristics an individual can possess. My brothers and sisters, this life is a test and as we know, no tests are easy unless we have prepared to face them. For example, if we have an exam to do, the only way we can get ready for this exam is by revising. In the same way, this life throws a lot of tests at us and in these testing times, who do we turn to as Muslim? My brothers and sisters, we should turn to Allah the Solver of all problems.

When we are being tested we should show a lot of patience for Allah says in the Holy Qu'ran, " O you who believe, strengthen yourselves with resolution and prayer. Indeed Allah is with those who persevere in adversity (Surah Baqarah verse 153)", we can see from this verse of the Quran that in times of adversity we should turn to Allah and be strong. We should not let anything make us weak but on the contrary we should show strength for Allah loves a strong believer more that he loves a weak believer. We should be strong at all times and how do we strengthen ourselves? My brothers and sisters we should turn to our Lord Allah and Inshallah by the power He will give us, we will gain the strength to face the problems that we are facing.

At the same time we have to show patience, for Allah loves those who shows patience. Allah says in the Qur'an," O you who believe, seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely ALLAH is with the patient(Al-Baqarah 2:216)", we can see from this verse of Qur'an that we need to be patient at all time. My brothers and sisters patience is beautiful, never give up on Alla's help, we have to put trust in Allah at all time.

We should always seek Allah's help in all matters, we hear a lot of people saying that we make dua but Allah is not accepting our dua! We should realise that Allah has no problems in giving, it is the way we ask. When we are asking Allah to help us, we should ask with full conviction and faith that Allah will help us. And how can we do that? The more we work on our Imaan, the more faith we are going to have in Allah. We have to show patience at all times and when Allah tests us we should take it as an opportunity for us to get closer to Allah. We should know that when Allah loves someone He tests that person to some extent.

My brothers and sisters, at all times, whenever we are going through hardships ...we must turn to Allah and know that Allah never burdens someone more that he can handle. Allah is Just, we need to put our faith in Allah and be patient. We should see the hardships we are going through as a blessing in disguise because in reality if our imaan is strong, its going to get stronger because we know that only Allah can solve our problems. Due to this, we will be making more dua and praying and all this is only going to make us get closer to Allah! Thus our Imaan will increase ,but at the same time we should always remember Allah all the time... not just in time of need.

I make dua that Allah makes us strong and increase our imaan.

Ameen