Showing posts with label Lust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lust. Show all posts

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Reflections on 'Rinsing' Guys and Glamour Models


Bismillahir rahmanir raheem.

A few days ago, news reached me of a TV programme that was broadcasted in relation to a few supermodels who have used their appearances and sex appeal to draw some benefits and gifts from the opposite gender. At first, I didn't pay that much attention to it but over the last few days, I have noticed that it has sparked such uproar, that many people have written about it. In fact, such was the uproar, that it sparked a Twitter storm causing 50,000 tweets.  After reading through some of these articles (which contained tweets and public comments), I viewed a couple of short clips of the episode and it truly upset me and made a deep impact upon my heart.

After reading much feedback and trying to grasp many of the new concepts, there were three areas I recognised as being important to address; 1. Women and their role models 2. Men and how lowly they can become 3. Hayaa (modesty)

In brief, let me just summarise the issue; the theme of this documentary highlights the lives of various glamour models who are apparently extremely successful but they do not have any such profession. As a result, they use their beauty to entice rich (or reasonably rich) men who then in turn give them money and buy them extremely expensive gifts. This is not to say that the problem in its entirety lies with the women, men who welcome the idea of spending thousands on women who do not even care for them deserve to be hit with the harsh clap of reality; but more on that later.

My first area of worry was in relation to our own respected and dear sisters in Islam. Despite many women (whom I applaud) condemning the models in the documentary,  I noticed how some women were writing messages of support after watching these models rake money in. Many went to the extent of saying that such action was justified and quite beneficial. As a Muslim, let alone a Muslima, such actions are quite simply far from our religion. How can it bring a person happiness, to hoard wealth in a fashion which is against morality and free from any ethics? It does not even need a Muslim to highlight that such behaviour is wrong, many non Muslims are correctly condemning such doings on social networking websites. 

Thus, it's necessary to disregard such glamour models and looks for some role models for all that glitters is not gold. When you take away the glitz and the thrill of what these women are doing and you lay their purpose out, it is quite simply abhorrent.  How can it be acceptable, to not work for the money you gain but to take it from the hand of a person who is vulnerable due to his desires? Alhamdulillah, our deen has taught us from the very beginning to be people of pioneering nature who are not reliant on the money of others. Such people who exert their limbs in noble work, utilise their capacity in all fields and be dignified in their search for wealth. This was taught to us by our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam. In a narration related by Abu Dawud, a man came to Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam and he had nothing in his possession except a piece of cloth (half of which was to be worn and the other half was to be used as a spread) and a bowl. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam told him to bring both possessions to him; consequently, they were brought and the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam auctioned them off for 2 dirhams (silver coins). He gave the man the two coins and told him to spend one upon the sustenance of his family and the other coin should be used to purchase an axe. In fact, the axe was brought to Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam and he fixed the handle; he then commanded the man that he should go and gather firewood (by utilising the axe) and should not return until 2 weeks later. When the man returned, he had accumulated 10 silver coins. It was at this juncture that the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam said, “This is better for you than the (act of) begging should come as a blemish on your face on the Day of Judgment. Begging is right only for three people: one who is in grinding poverty, one who is seriously in debt, or one who is responsible for compensation and finds it difficult to pay. (i.e. extremely dire circumstances)”.

Having understood this hadith, it is important to highlight the work ethic that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam would inculcate within the Companions. Respect for a person is when that person acquires sustenance in a respectable and dignified manner. What respect is there in a person who hoards money by using their sexual prowess as a means of asking men for gifts? A person may achieve their goal and gain quite a bit from lustful men but where is the taste of prosperity in their wealth? It is free from any blessing, free from any satisfaction, free from any dignity.

Thus it is important to urge our sisters to be such women, who study hard throughout their youth and become women who are intellectually astute, morally sound and highly modest. When such characteristics are found within a woman, she is not in need of stooping to such lows.

The second advice is in relation to my dear Muslim brothers; we have become too weak in relation to our desire for the opposite gender. There are many who are all too willing to give time, wealth and affection to women who are not even halal for them. Many Muslim men are spending their money on women whom they have never met; their only source of interaction with these glamour models etc has been through adult entertainment sources. In an attempt to win the admiration of these women, many men are emptying out their wallets in buying gifts which would be more rewarding for them had they spent their wealth on their family members instead. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said, "When a Muslim spends on his family in anticipation of a reward, it is sadaqa for him." (Al Adabul Mufrad) I.e. when a man spends on his family members, he is rewarded immensely. Furthermore, in this documentary, men were spending thousands on these women; Allahu Akbar! There are people in this world who are in extreme need, they are literally walking on the banks of destruction and they have no person to feed them. Yet, we would rather give money to women who are quite simply ‘users’ (matlab parast) as opposed to the millions who are dying of hunger. 

Our priorities in life must be sorted out. On the Day of Qiyamah, the feet of a person will not move until he has answered 5 questions; two of which are: Where did you acquire your wealth? Where did you spend your wealth? Every single person will have to answer for every single penny he spent, what will be the state of that person who did not care for his zakah but was enthusiastic upon spending his wealth in shameful places? What answer will he give to Allah? Thus, it is important for us to build this fear within us.

Lastly, in relation to a man, we need to stop being ‘suckers’ for everything that tickles our fancy. We have to build up our defences, it shouldn’t be the case that a pretty woman batters her eyelashes and we feel the need to rescue the damsel in distress. There is a need to become prudent in such matters and ignore that which is of no benefit. When a person becomes desperate in regards to the other gender, he loses his respect in the eyes of people.

Finally, I wanted to mention the topic of modesty. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has said that Hayaa (modesty) is a branch of faith. In another place he has said, “Every nation has a trait and the trait of my nation is modesty” (Muwatta). He has also said, “Vulgarity does not exist in something except that it makes it repulsive and modesty does not exist in something except that it beautifies it.”  In fact, even men are given the example of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam who was described as being more bashful than a veiled virgin within her quarters.

Modesty is quite simply that thing which prevents a person from doing anything hideous. He is constantly shy and is afraid what people might think. Moreover, he is most shy of Allah Ta’ala. As a result, he shies away; take the example of a pious person, when all of his friends are going to a club, he rejects because his modesty stops him from entering such places. Thus, the more we increase in our modesty, the greater we become in distinguishing immoral activities from moral deeds. This is a characteristic which should be in us all (men and women) but it seems extremely distant from such women who are involved in ‘rinsing’ activities. The likes of Asmaa bint Abi Bakr radiallahu anhumaa was such that one day she was carrying a huge weight of harvest on her shoulders towards her house which was at a distance. The Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam passed by with a group of men; the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam was her brother in law and offered to take her home by sitting her on his horse but she refused the offer and said, “I am shy that I travel amongst the men”. Such women are models, the great role models to have ever walked the earth.

May Allah Ta’ala give us all the ability to recognise that which is the Haqq as Haqq and then bless us with the ability to follow it. And may He give us the ability to recognise that which is false as false and bless us with the ability to stay away from it. May He, out of His kindness, endow us with the characteristics of our beloved Muhammad salallahu alayhi wasallam, and beautify us with the characteristic of modesty. Ameen.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Valentines Day

With the name of Allah, the All Merciful, the Very Merciful

On the 14th of February, you may see a lot of people wearing red colour clothes and many couples or lovers will be meeting with each other to exchange gifts and to pass time with one another. The reality behind this all is that it's totally Haram to celebrate Valentines Day! We see a lot of Muslims getting involved in this ignorant act. The Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam said in an authentic hadith that whomsoever follows a group of people, he will be from amongst them; by celebrating Valentines Day, you are following the way of the disbelievers and so a person must ask himself, "Do you want to be raised up amongst the disbelievers on the day where there will be no shelter??" If the answer is 'No!' then you should not celebrate this day.

It is very unfortunate that a lot of Muslims will indulge themselves in this Haram act, and as a result will go waste money on gifts, waste time with a person who is not mahram! Instead of wasting money on gifts, why don't you give that money in charity and why don't you spend time in the rememberance of the Almighty Allah and get reward for it rather than being punished? Whenever a male and a female is alone the third will be shaytaan and so when a person meets there partner, there is a threat that they may kiss, touch and this then may lead to something much worse. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said it is better that a nail goes through your head than touching the palm of someone that is haraam for you. Stop. Now think about this.

My brothers and sisters we should realise that Valentines Day is not from the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam. If you want to be raised up amongst the Succesful Ones then follow the Sunnah of the beloved of Allah. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said that Nikkah is from my sunnah, so naturally if you follow Allah and His Nabi salallahu alayhi wa salam and you shall be amongst the Succesful Ones insha Allah. We should realise that haram love are for those who doesn't love Allah enough. Allah says in the Quran, "Do not approach aldultery..." this verse has a deep meaning, we should realise that Shaytaan is very clever, he will do anything to lead us to Hell. If we think about Valentines Day, many boys and girls may commit adultery on that day. It all starts with a touch, from a touch it becomes a hug, from a hug it becomes a kiss and from a kiss it will lead to adultery. If we think about it, on Valentines Day, people will be exchanging gifts, and out of happiness they will kiss each other and this will lead to something much more Haram, so it's better that we avoid getting involved in celebrating this day.

Recently I was talking to a very nice brother mashallah, he used to be involved in this haram act but Alhamdullilah he has realised that by commiting this haraam acts it will lead him to the punishment of Allah. He told me how he felt when he was with the opposite sex, the sweetness of commiting the act was for a short period of time only and after he had done it, he would feel guilty and nothing would feel good for him.This shows us that the sweetness of commiting a Haraam act is only for a few moments and it will lead to the punishment of Allah.

However, my brothers and sisters Allah says in the Quran ,"Do not despair upon my mercy..." if we have made the mistake of celebrating Valentines Day and being in haraam relationships, then we should ask for forgiveness because Allah is Very Merciful. Valentines Day is not for Muslims so don't get involved in this ignorant act of celebrating that day.

I leave you with this quote, "One should not confuse true love with the feelings felt for members of the opposite sex. Such love, although sometimes transformed into true love, is deficient ,temporary and has no inherent value".

MAY ALLAH GUIDES ALL OF US ON THE STRAIGHT PATH AND MAY ALLAH GIVE US WIFE/HUSBAND THAT ARE PIOUS

AMEEEN

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

Love, Lust & The Heart

In recent time it appears as though the entire concept of cherishing someone has been eradicated from the religion of Muhammad salalallahu alayhi wa salam. Many people consider the concept of ‘Love’ and ‘Lust’ as something that Islam forbids in its entirety, whether it be felt inside or outside of wedlock. As Muslims have begun to adopt non Muslim customs in their weddings and marriage, we find a great loss in the etiquette of treasuring a partner as if he or she were the most prized possession in the world. However, there are narrations of the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam showing an intimate and compassionate side to his wives for a reason. These narrations could have been left hidden by Allah Ta’ala but in the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam there is a man of exalted examples and in the various transmissions that are slightly private, we discover the most perfect morals and etiquettes to treat our partners with.

The feeling of love and lust is not one that is unknown to Islam. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an,

وَمِنۡ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦۤ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٲجً۬ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَڪُم مَّوَدَّةً۬ وَرَحۡمَةً‌ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٲلِكَ لَأَيَـٰتٍ۬ لِّقَوۡمٍ۬ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.”

Hazrat Mufti Muhammad Shafi rahimahullah mentions in his commentary to this verse mentions:

“The wisdom behind the creation of this particular sex (women) is said to be لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا (so that you may find tranquillity in them). If one ponders, it becomes evident that all the requirements of men from women end up in drawing peace of mind, tranquillity and comfort.”

In this verse of the Qur’an, Allah refers to the relationship which emits from the relationship of marriage as something that brings love and tranquillity. On the contrary, a person who leaves the Shariah aspect of love and opts for lust finds his heart very heavy and tainted. By living like animals may provide some minor pleasure for a short period of time but it will not provide the solace and harmony created through marriage. The very foundation of fruitful love rests on a lawful marriage and without the bond of marriage; one will surely find life to be free from serenity. Cherry Norton writes as the Social Affairs Editor of ‘The Independent’ newspaper in 2000,

“Feeling guilty about indulging in life's pleasures can damage your health - so if you want to stay in peak condition you should adopt a more hedonistic approach, psychologists said yesterday.Research presented at the British Psychological Society's annual conference in Winchester showed that those who feel guilty about eating, drinking, smoking, watching television or having sex - suffered from a poorer immune system, making them more vulnerable to colds and flu. The findings also suggested that women felt more guilty about their indulgences and were more likely to fall ill than men."

Islam does not negate the feelings of the heart, rather it negates the feelings which lead one into rebellion and that which causes huge problems. There is no ban on having fun as long as it coincides with the restrictions placed by the Shariat. It is perfectly fine for a person to play football with his friends or go to the gym. However this becomes problematic when Prayer is missed for the sake of a football match. Likewise, to love somebody from deep within your heart is emphasised on as long as the two lovers are permitted to love each other (i.e. through matrimony).

The heart itself is a very important part of the Muslim’s body. From this heart emits the feelings of love, anger, joy and many other emotions. However these feelings are determined Halal or Haraam by the actions that emanate from them. For example, a person can be angry but in his anger he has hit his Muslim brother, thus his actions have rendered his anger Haraam. If he had suppressed his anger and recited Tawwuz he would be from among those people whom Allah Ta’ala loves. In the same way, love is not wrong if it is for Allah or for family etc. But this love becomes Haraam when it targeted at a boyfriend or girlfriend, a partner outside wedlock, a ‘fling’ with no repercussions. This is why the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam has mentioned,

“Surely, in the body there is a lump of flesh which when it is sound the whole body is sound and when it is corrupt the whole body is corrupt. Truly, it is the heart.”

Similarly it is mentioned in the Musnad of Imam Ahmad on the authority of Anas radiallahu anhu that the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam said,

“The belief of a slave will not be straight until his heart is straight.”

What is meant here is that the bodily actions will not be in accordance with Islam until the heart is. For whatever becomes a bodily action is the output of the heart. Therefore, if the heart is in accordance with Islam, ones belief and bodily actions will be too and a core which is filled with affection for Allah Ta’ala will always want to obey Him and never disobey Him.

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal rahimahullah mentions,

“If his heart is sound and there is nothing in it but love of Allah Ta’ala and love of what Allah loves and fear of Allah Ta’ala and fear of falling into that which He dislikes, then all of the actions of the limbs will be right, and there will arise from that his avoidance of all forbidden things and his guarding himself against ambiguities in case he should fall into things which are forbidden. If the heart is corrupt and it is overcome by following desires and his seeking what he loves even if Allah Ta’ala dislikes it, then all of the limbs; movements will be corrupt and will give rise to every act of disobedience and (engagement in every) ambiguous matter according to the extent of his following the hearts’ desire... For this reason it is said that the heart is the king of the limbs and organs and the other limbs and organs are its troops.”

It is for this reason the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam would say in his supplication,

“O Allah, I ask You for a sound heart.”

This is why it is imperative for us as Muslims to fight our desires in the various societies we enter. Many of us in the Western world are working in places which are of mixed genders and we find that we have to interact with the other sex on regular basis. This is not just for people who work but this also applies to students who go to colleges and universities. Society has advocated that we find ourselves partners to become intimate with, every popular soap encourages having companions in order to celebrate the theme of love. This type of ideology has found its way into the lives of young and old Muslims alike and now we find many Muslims engaged in relationships from young ages. Recent culture has subconsciously given people an incentive to imitate the sweet, romantic relationships that they see on their televisions in their own lives. Through this influence, the lives of many Muslims are being corrupted.

It is imperative that we protect ourselves and our children from the huge rush to gather boyfriends and girlfriends. Many of these relationships happen in secret to prevent parents from finding out but at the same time there is guilt which settles in the heart and after a few months, a God conscious Muslim will realise that it is time to give up the Haram and will do it despite the sadness and the ‘emotional rollercoaster’.