The Sinister...'Far Away, Distant' Feeling

That ‘far away, distant' feeling is something that comes to us all every now and then. This is that feeling, where everything feels blurred and everything seems distant. It seems that everybody is getting on with something or the other and you seem to be standing still; it just feels that you are stuck in a time and place from which you can’t get out of! An example of this to a lower degree can be seen in a student who is sitting in an exam hall; he sees everybody around him doing something but his brain feels to blunt to think of something and his stomach begins to churn as he sees his time is running out.

The reality of this all is that different incidents in a person’s life can trigger of this feeling. Sometimes, an abundance of work and pressure could be the cause; at other stages panic and anxiety could be a reason. Sometimes desperation could settle into oneself and many times, all these factors come together to hit insaan for a six! He then becomes like that cricket ball which has been hit out of the stadium and is sitting outside in the car park all by itself, waiting for somebody to pick it up and bring it back to its rightful place (i.e. the pitch). Similarly, when life is moving so fast around us and we feel completely dazed, we too need someone to take us by the hand and put our hearts’ at ease.

This feeling is an emotion that comes to us regularly and perhaps more so as we grow up and less so as we reach an elderly age. As a person grows, his responsibilities increase and he finds himself juggling between those actions which he must do (whether he likes it or not) and those actions which he likes to do (as a hobby). During his life, he will find himself constantly balancing between the two. When a person starts taking too much on, he finds himself bewildered at the sheer pace of life. There seems to be too many things happening and too little time to analyse them all.

In some instances, an issue of great magnitude such as a person’s death is placed in front of us which totally sweeps our feet from beneath us. Another example could be of a person who is planning to get married; he may be preparing for months on end but as the time to tie the knot approaches, he begins to feel that there are many things which he hasn’t dealt with! In both situations, a person is left befuddled and perplexed.

And in some instances, a person can want to feel far away from everything! When a person constantly sees ‘snakes’ from amongst his dear ones and dark evil in his surroundings, one naturally wants to curl up into a ball and stay in one corner. Sometimes sadness comes to us in abundance and the only reprieve seems to be in the darkness of a silent room. Thus, the far away feeling occurs because a person doesn’t want to feel close to the action.

Finally, you have others who experience the far away feeling because they are quite simply potty! This is when a person is just to foolish to do what is good for himself and continues doing stupid things which prove to be a hindrance to his existence! An example I hear you say? Take the example of a person who wastes his life in a shisha cafe; everyday he wakes up, he does the same thing. He brushes his teeth, wears his jacket, takes money from his parents and follows his friends (who may also be potty) into a shisha cafe. He thereafter wastes pound after pound in buying drinks, coals, snacks etc. The most bizarre thing of all is that this very same person has a career defining exam the following day and he should be revising! As a result, he sits in the exam hall the next day and all he can do is squirm in his chair when he sees his classmates around him pencilling in their exam papers at speed.

So how can a person stop this feeling or get out of it? There are a variety of things he can do. Below are just a few:

• Stop feeling sorry for yourself – sometimes a person needs to slap himself (not literally) and pull his socks up. For how long will a person feel sorry about himself and watch the people around him be successful and not be a part of that success himself? A person must produce unyielding efforts to break away from the vicious cycle of self pity and sorrow.

• Grab hold of a good friend to help you – sometimes we can’t see how deep we are in a situation. At times we exaggerate our problems and at other times, we play matters which are of huge relevance down. When we have the ‘far away feeling’ we should confide this matter in a close, loving, knowledgeable friend. We should explain to him, “I need you to help me pick myself up and make use of my time.” This feeling can bring much sadness to a person which in turn brings a fatigued, lazy ethos. We need to tell our close friend, “When you see me wasting my life away, pull me together and slap me (literally)!”

• Get up and go – have some ‘get up and go’ about yourself. You may find that nobody can help you; that should not send you into a murky abyss. Rather, fortify your intentions and make something of yourself.

• Take the advices from the Qur’an and the Hadith - While the Qur’an cheers up a saddened soul, it also has great advices to push a person in the right direction. Similarly, the words of our Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam have great blessings; he himself would say, ‘I am a source of peace for my companions’. Thus, if we engross ourselves by becoming his companions (i.e. by studying his words), his invigorating shadow will extend over us also.

• Make lots of dua – only Allah Ta’ala is the One who can take us out of the darkness we see before us. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path.” The court of Allah Ta’ala isn’t like a shop which has opening and closing hours; it is open all hours. The court of Allah Ta’ala is like that shop which has everything a person could need and more; he just needs to pre-order through his dua and Allah Ta’ala will send him what he requires. The postage, packaging and delivery depends on that person’s sincerity in his dua but when does eventually receives it, five star customer satisfaction is guaranteed!

May Allah Ta’ala grant us all aafiyat and make our hardships easy for us. Ameen, ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.

How to Keep a Low Profile & Keeping Away Unwanted Attention

Many people want to keep a low profile with regards to themselves but they simply do not know how to. Some people make sincere intentions that they will keep themselves unknown only to reappear a few months later and become well-known once more. A person can get attention for a variety of reasons; sometimes a person could have done something amazingly praiseworthy which attracts the admiration of his peers and the jealousy of others. Sometimes a person could have done something shockingly inappropriate which attracts the attention of everybody around him. Similarly, a person who wears trendy and stylish clothes is immediately recognised and likewise, a person who smells and dresses up badly also gains some recognition for the wrong reasons. The basic point made here is that attention comes through various ways and finds its way to the door of a person sooner or later.

How can a person maintain a low profile? Different things apply to the two genders. Below is a list of ways a person can keep himself ‘off the radar’ so as to speak.

- Make a strong intention that you want to keep yourself to yourself and not be known among the people. The stronger your intention is, the more Allah Ta’ala will help you attain your goal.

- Get rid of your Facebook! As soon as a person signs up to Facebook, he instantly brings himself attention. It is amazing how people are willing to share there every action with people whom they may not even know properly. How is it possible that a person announces to the entire world ‘Fulan is now going to the toilet’?! And then not expect attention? It is shameful for a person to write acts about his every action! It is needless telling people all these things. If a person is going to share his life with the entire world, what remains for himself and his loved ones? Some people who have these applications on their phones then send messages from the most inappropriate of places! Is it really appropriate to write a Facebook status whilst attending somebody’s Janazah? It is for this reason one of my friends tends to call this type of behaviour ‘Shamebook’. Facebook may have benefits but its negatives are far greater. For some, closing their Facebook may be a bit extreme but for those whose hearts have been opened by guidance from Allah Ta’ala, they will immediately recognise their Facebook to be a waste of time. Note: Once it is closed, keep it that way. It can be tempting to return to it and see the latest gossip but a person must have self discipline. Constantly remind yourself what your aim is. Also, there is no need to announce on Facebook that you are leaving. Some people forget that their aim is to keep attention away from them and before deactivating their account they write a big message saying, “Fulan is now leaving Facebook! Goodbye all, it was nice knowing you!” There is no need for an announcement! This will cause a person to delay and wait to see what people have to say. When people become alerted, they will rush to send a message. The basis of all this is unwanted attention that could have been avoided. If deleting Facebook is totally out of the equation then at least limit those with whom you speak to through it. If you are using it to keep in touch with a few special friends then keep it that way. There is no need to keep 277 friends when you speak to only a handful.

- Limit your use of MSN Messenger. Sometimes, people genuinely need to use MSN to speak to family members or loved ones who may be in different countries and this is fine. However, it is important to limit the contacts who are available. Sometimes people have 200 contacts but only speak to 10. If this is the case then only keep 10. If we just sat back and had a look at our MSN Messenger contacts list, we will notice that the majority of those who we have on our account are barely spoken to anyway. If this is the case, then get rid of the excess.

- Keep your voice down when you are around others. Sometimes people are loud by tendency but caution should be taken with this. Some people on the other hand are loud because they want to be heard. How many times have we walked down a road or sat on a bus only to hear the conversation of another person without even wanting to? A person should try their utmost to socialise in a modest and humble manner. Aishah radiallahu anha would mention that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam was not rude or vulgar and he didn’t pretend to be immoral either; neither did he shout in market places. This is a great example for us, we walk up and down the road screaming and hollering but respect is when a person is quiet. The louder a person is, the more he is considered to be bizarre by the people around him.

- The above point is especially useful for women. There are many women who tend to be loud and bubbly and as a result, they cause a lot of unneeded attention towards themselves. There was once a time where the tongues of women were eloquent and free from swearing and vulgarity. It is unfortunate to see young Muslim women openly screaming all sorts of abuse in colleges and universities. That is not to say all women are like that, there are still women today who are role models for even men because of their beautiful characteristics. A woman is most attractive when her words are of a soft and sweet nature. It does not befit a rose that it gives of stench so then how is it possible for a woman that she spits out abuse?

- Avoid going into places which will cause recognition. Many people like to go to Shisha cafes and specific clubs but what this can bring unwanted attention. Many people who go to places like these are determined to mingle with others. These places are best left alone.

- Keep a small amount of pious friends. Many people like to mix with different groups of friends during different days of the week. This is incorrect as his name becomes famed. It is better to keep a small group of friends who will come to a person’s aid. A person who is married should especially limit his friends. His best friend should be his wife. In a prior post (Click Here) we spoke of the husband being the mureed of his wife; and rightly so, it is better to be the mureed of lifelong friend than a whole host of friends. Also, when a person keeps friends who are idiots, they tend to spill his secrets and make him well known.

- Limit your time out of the house. Some people go out and loiter around shopping malls and parks just to see what is going on. This again is unnecessary and should be avoided.

- Don’t wear dazzling clothes. As a Muslim we are encouraged to dress well and wear nice clothes if we are able to do so. Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. However, there is a huge difference between elegance and show-stopping glitz! We should be elegant in our clothing but not glamorous. Many people want to be seen as they cross the road so they will wear a shocking blue t-shirt or more jewellery then people keep in the shops! This again is incorrect. Beauty is in simplicity and we see this in the life of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. His attire was elegant but it was simple at the same time. It was not heavily designed but rather it was kept plain and clean. Many people will now say that they didn’t have fashionable and heavily designed material in those times but this is totally incorrect. The merchants of Arabia would constantly trade with the Romans and Persians in order to bring beautiful clothing to Arabia but this would never tempt Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. Once Umar radiallahu anhu saw Rasulullah’s salallahu alahyhi wa salam state and began to weep. When asked as to why he cries he said, “I swear by Allah! I do not cry except that because I know that you are more exalted in the sight of Allah then the emperor of Persia and the Caesar of Rome. And they are both are enjoying in the pleasures of the world, whilst you, O Rasulullah are in this state that I am seeing you in.” Upon this Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam said, “What is with me and this world? (i.e. what do I care about this world?)”

- Sisters are also encouraged to not wear clothes which can bring attention to their beauty. Men are naturally rugged and sometimes, a person needs to look for a long time to see any beauty. On the other hand, women are naturally created with attractive features and can instantly catch eyes if attention is brought to them. This is not to say that women should not dress up and remain in a filthy state. Rather, a women should dress up well but should not make herself alluring by wearing colours which make her more luminous than the lollipop lady.

- Conceal your good deeds like the way you would conceal your bad deeds.

Our pious predecessors and elders disliked fame and glory. They were very simple people; there aim was to live a simple life on this planet and then return to Allah Ta’ala. There walking, talking and living in general was very basic and they did not have any desire to be known and celebrated. Hazrat Bishr ibn al Harith rahimahullah would say, “I do not know of a single man who loves fame except that he loses his religion and becomes disgraced. No-one who has fear of Allah, loves to be known amongst the people.” Let us ponder carefully over this statement. When a person begins to love fame and popularity, he thrives on serving the people in all affairs. When he speaks, he speaks for their praise; when he prays, he hopes for the approval; when he does any good, it is for their admiration. It is better to keep low profile and remain unknown. The more fame a person gets, the more opposition he gets. Every person would like to make the person beside him think in a similar way but this is not possible.

There are many more ways to keep low profile but the post is already long as it is. Inshallah if time permits, I will continue with this at another time.

May Allah Ta’ala give us the ability to become sincere servants of His. Ameen.

Takabbur (Arrogance) - A common Disease

With the name of Allah, the All Merciful, the Very Merciful...

The Prophet Muhammad(Peace be upon him) said in an authentic hadith,"Whosoever has an atoms weight of arrogance in his heart will not enter Jannah." One of the signs of arrogance is denying the truth. Denying the oneness of Allah is amongst the biggest signs of arrogance. Nowadays, many are so blinded by this world that they think that this world is everything but the thing that they don't realise is that a day will surely come where we will stand in front of the One who created us and we will be asked as to our actions. Allah says in Surah Yaseen,"Does not man see that We have created him from Nutfah (mixed male and female discharge semen drops).Yet behold! He (stand forth) as an open opponent."

The problem in society is that every one thinks they are better than every one else but in reality, this is far from the truth. We can never claim to be better than anyone else as we do not know our position infront of Allah. Allah will not at how 'good-looking' we are or how strong we are or how rich we are and surely, Allah doesn't look at your status amongst your fellow human being but Allah looks at your piety and good deeds. We see that nowadays it's a common problem that affects the youth mostly. Some people think that because we are driving the best cars, we naturally are better than anyone else. Stop! Think about it, will your car be able to outrun death or the punishment of Allah? Will your car save you on the Day of Qiyamah? Some people think, "I have big biceps, Iam better than everyone else!" But know my brother and sister, the prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said in a hadith,"The strong man is not the one is who is good at wrestling but strong man is he who controls himself in a fit of rage". It easier to knock some one out than to forgive someone, surely forgiveness is a very good attribute to have. You might be pushing 100kg in the gym but when it comes to Fajr prayer, are you able to lift that blanket that weighs less that 1kg off you? If you can't then that says everything. A strong person must have the abilty to fight his Nafs, he must be able to fight shaytaan, and he will only be able to do all this by seeking the help of Allah. We need to realise that we need Allah in everything. So why do we have to be arrogant when we are entirely dependent on Allah?

We can see from the examples of the Sahabas (may Allah be pleased with them) that they were the strongest men that walked upon the face of this world but yet they were always humble.We see some brothers and sometimes sisters too, they walk around as if they are mountains! Allah says in the Qur'an, "Do not walk on the earth in haughty style. You can neither tear the earth apart, nor can you match the mountains in height." So if a person cannot match this, how dare he walk with such arrogance? My brother and sisters arrogance is a sign of ignorance, because Allah looks not at how strong you are or how beautiful you are, or how rich you are; rather Allah looks at what is in your heart, Allah looks at your good deeds and your piety.

Arrogance is a disease my brothers and sisters, do we want Jannah or not? If yes then get rid of arrongance from your heart because a good Muslim is always humble no matter how strong, or how rich he is. He is always humble because he realises that his wealth, his strenghth will not help him when he will be in his grave, when the angels will ask him, "Who is your Lord? What is your religion? Who is the Prophet?" We think that these answers are easy now but know my brothers and sisters that if you didn't live your life in the obedience of Allah, you will not be able to answers these three questions. We must make dua that Allah protects us from this disease, because for sure it will destroy our herefafter. If we have one atoms weight of arrogance in our heart, we will not enter Jannah, a true believer realises that he is nothing but a creation that has been created from a drop of semen... is this really something to boast about?

I make dua that Allah makes these few words a means of guidance for all of us and I make dua that Allah protects us from arrongance. Ameen.