Lesson from Hadith #5

اذا كانوا ثلاثة فلا يتناجى اثنان دون الثّالث
“When there are three people, two should not converse together at the exclusion of the third.” (Adabul Mufrad: Hadith #1166 pg 722)

This is straight forward, two people should not exclude the third and speak because this will make him feel unwanted and lonely. Sometimes, two people sit together and begin a conversation in such a manner that the other feels that they are talking about him. The behaviour of a group of Muslims should be such that they make everybody feel wanted. In the modern day, this can also apply to the usage of mobile phones. For example, if two people are sitting and one of them gets a phone call, he should not have a half an hour discussion with the person on the phone and discard his friend in that period. Rather he should host the person whom he is with.

In the same manner, it is not permissible for a person who sees two people talking and then butts into their conversation. Once Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was speaking to a man privately when Sa’eed al Maqbari (may Allah have mercy upon him) entered upon them. Ibn Umar pushed him away and said, “When you see two men talk to each other, you should neither stand near them, nor should you sit there unless you have their permission to do so.

Lesson from Hadith #4

يا ايها النّاس ، قولو قولكم ، فإنّما تشقيق الكلام من الشّيطان
“O people! Say what you have to say! Because speaking excessively is from Shaytan.” [1]

This is quite straightforward to understand. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam is advising a person to be precise and succinct in what he says. By speaking continuously, a person is at risk of being manipulated by Shaytan. The more a person speaks, the bigger the risk is of him making mistakes in his speech. This is due to the whisperings of Shaytan who would encourage the person to continue speaking. Consequently, the person will begin to talk about useless matters and futile things. It is for this reason a poet once said, “If speaking is silver than remaining silent is gold.” It is for this reason Shigni ibn Maati’ al-Asbahi rahimahullah said, “Whoever’s speech increased, his mistakes (also) increased.” A person should be precise in what he wants to say and should not ‘beat around the bush’. Of course, sometimes a person is required to be softer in his words and lengthen them so that he does not cause offence or hurt. It would be totally incorrect for a person to merely tell another, “Your father has died.” And then leave him in this state. Rather, he should explain to him in a sympathetic and caring manner give him a lengthy yet precise account of the matter at hand.

[1] Adabul Mufrad: Hadith #875

Lesson from Hadith #3

اني لم ابعث لعّانا ،و لكن بعث رحمة
“Certainly, I have not been sent to curse anyone but rather, I have been sent as a mercy.”[1]

The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam was once asked, “Ya Rasulullah! Invoke a curse upon the polytheists.” It was upon this request that he exclaimed, “Certainly, I have not been sent to curse anyone but rather, I have been sent as a mercy.”

The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam was sent with the hardest mission in a time which people were delved into the darkness of ignorance. It was important for him to gather support and this was done largely by his beautiful characteristics and merciful nature towards people. Once the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam was displeased but rather than hollering and cursing he showed compassion and forgiveness. It is about this Allah Ta'ala says in the Qur’an, “It was a mercy of Allah that you were soft and gentle with them. If you were rude, harsh, hard hearted, then they would have fled away from you.” (3:159)

This hadith indicates that we should not invoke curses on anyone, rather we should be tolerant. In our day and age, we are unfortunately pressurised that we must accommodate people who enjoying calling other Muslims 'kaafir' and 'munafiqs', it is important for these people to take a step back and recognise exactly what type of person Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam was.

The tongue tends to move very quickly but we should try our best not to wish bad upon anyone, even in states of deep anger and displeasure. Tolerance is truly a great characteristic; whomsoever has the ability to develop it within himself should do so.

This hadith also indicates that the impression given off from a Muslim should be one of compassion, towards Muslims and non Muslims.

[1] Adabul Mufrad: Hadith #332

Lesson from Hadith #2

ليس المؤمن بالطّعان و لا اللّعّان و لا الفاحش و لا الباذيّ

“A believer is not one who taunts, nor one who curses, nor one who is immoral nor one who indulges in shameless talk ”[1]

By the term believer, a complete Muslim is insinuated. For only a complete Muslim can stay away from the temptations of the mouth. There are many people who have a bad habit of taunting people and causing them hurt. This is not from the characteristics of a believer or from a well mannered human being. To joke and taunt about someone in jest is a great sin and must be abstained from. Further, many have the habit of cursing straight away. If something does not go to plan, they instantly curse the object or the person that was the cause of it. This too is a very habit.

Finally, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam mentions that a Muslim is not an immoral person. Immorality and rudeness are very bad characteristics as they bring pride into a person. A person who is immoral is at a stage where he feels he can do or say anything as he has ripped the veil of shyness from himself. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam has mentioned taunting first in this hadith. Often, when a person taunts in abundance, he is paving the way towards the next sin mentioned in this hadith which is cursing. It almost feels natural for a person to continue into this new field. Thereafter, when a person’s mouth becomes so foul that he is abusive and full of curses, he loses the fear of being considered immoral as his pride makes him feel that he is superior. Thus this takes him into immorality and when a person reaches this juncture, he delves into shameless speech as has no consciousness of his deeds.

[1] Adabul Mufrad: Hadith #332 pg 262

Lesson from Hadith #1

لا يشكر الله من لا يشكر النّاس

“He who is not thankful to people is not thankful to Allah.” (Al Adabul Mufrad)

In order to thank people, one must use his mouth and show full gratitude. A person can show his gratefulness to people through actions by giving gifts etc but for a person to really show his thankfulness and gratefulness he must show it by the way of speech. It is speech which makes man different to an animal. If a person gave a monkey a banana, the monkey wouldn’t be able to say, “Cheers!” this is because Allah has not honoured the monkey with speech. However, Allah has honoured mankind with speech so that he can use his tongue to show his gratitude to his Creator. Part of showing this gratitude to Allah is by being thankful to people. When a person says “Thank you, May Allah reward you with something better” he is bringing pleasure to the person who helped him. If a person does not have the capability to show this thanks, then what is the difference between him and a monkey?