Sunday, 7 February 2010

Valentines Day

With the name of Allah, the All Merciful, the Very Merciful

On the 14th of February, you may see a lot of people wearing red colour clothes and many couples or lovers will be meeting with each other to exchange gifts and to pass time with one another. The reality behind this all is that it's totally Haram to celebrate Valentines Day! We see a lot of Muslims getting involved in this ignorant act. The Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam said in an authentic hadith that whomsoever follows a group of people, he will be from amongst them; by celebrating Valentines Day, you are following the way of the disbelievers and so a person must ask himself, "Do you want to be raised up amongst the disbelievers on the day where there will be no shelter??" If the answer is 'No!' then you should not celebrate this day.

It is very unfortunate that a lot of Muslims will indulge themselves in this Haram act, and as a result will go waste money on gifts, waste time with a person who is not mahram! Instead of wasting money on gifts, why don't you give that money in charity and why don't you spend time in the rememberance of the Almighty Allah and get reward for it rather than being punished? Whenever a male and a female is alone the third will be shaytaan and so when a person meets there partner, there is a threat that they may kiss, touch and this then may lead to something much worse. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said it is better that a nail goes through your head than touching the palm of someone that is haraam for you. Stop. Now think about this.

My brothers and sisters we should realise that Valentines Day is not from the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam. If you want to be raised up amongst the Succesful Ones then follow the Sunnah of the beloved of Allah. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said that Nikkah is from my sunnah, so naturally if you follow Allah and His Nabi salallahu alayhi wa salam and you shall be amongst the Succesful Ones insha Allah. We should realise that haram love are for those who doesn't love Allah enough. Allah says in the Quran, "Do not approach aldultery..." this verse has a deep meaning, we should realise that Shaytaan is very clever, he will do anything to lead us to Hell. If we think about Valentines Day, many boys and girls may commit adultery on that day. It all starts with a touch, from a touch it becomes a hug, from a hug it becomes a kiss and from a kiss it will lead to adultery. If we think about it, on Valentines Day, people will be exchanging gifts, and out of happiness they will kiss each other and this will lead to something much more Haram, so it's better that we avoid getting involved in celebrating this day.

Recently I was talking to a very nice brother mashallah, he used to be involved in this haram act but Alhamdullilah he has realised that by commiting this haraam acts it will lead him to the punishment of Allah. He told me how he felt when he was with the opposite sex, the sweetness of commiting the act was for a short period of time only and after he had done it, he would feel guilty and nothing would feel good for him.This shows us that the sweetness of commiting a Haraam act is only for a few moments and it will lead to the punishment of Allah.

However, my brothers and sisters Allah says in the Quran ,"Do not despair upon my mercy..." if we have made the mistake of celebrating Valentines Day and being in haraam relationships, then we should ask for forgiveness because Allah is Very Merciful. Valentines Day is not for Muslims so don't get involved in this ignorant act of celebrating that day.

I leave you with this quote, "One should not confuse true love with the feelings felt for members of the opposite sex. Such love, although sometimes transformed into true love, is deficient ,temporary and has no inherent value".




Fadilah said...

WOW! Masha'Allah that was very inspirational! & Aameen

Anonymous said...

Asalaamu 'Alaikum I have a question. I like a person and I used to be in regular contact with him and I really began to like him. He's recently gone further in deen and so have I so our talking has gone less too.. we never really exchanged 'heartfelt feelings' and all that rubbish but we spoke as friends coz we had lots in common and would make eachother laugh alot too. My heart constantly feels empty and I think about him often. Sometimes if my phone vibrates I rush to it too see if it's him and I check my mail regularly to see if he has emailed me. I guess I am yearning for his company... What should I do? Can a more senior member of this blog help... Jazakallaah khayran you guys are doing really good MashaAllaah

Abu Ubaidah said...

Assalaamu Alaykum,

A similar question was posed before on this site and an answer which I gave then would probably be the same answer I would give here. Jazakallahu khair for your question. A person too shy to ask will never receive. If you still need or want some further advice or clarification just leave a comment. Just click the link below and that will lead you to the answer, Insh'Allah.


Anonymous said...

Asalaamu 'Alaikum jazakAllaah khayran for your quick response... But I don't feel that it is entirely relavant to me because I can say that alhumdulillah I dont really feel bothered in terms of it effecting my deen... I'm not like one of those crazy girly types of girls who chase after any old guy.. This is like the first time I'm ever experiencing this type of attraction.. He is really unique and different. I don't speak to any boys either just him, i am finding it hard to stop thinking about him as part of my community circle includes him and so I regularly am able to know what he is doing or if he is ill without even wanting to know!!!! Please pray for me. If you brothers have any more advise it would be really helpful... JazakAllaah khayran

Abu Huzayfa said...

Assalamu Alaykum,

First and foremost, may Allah Ta'ala reward Janaab Muhazam saab for his post. Ameen.

The answer is simple - Marriage! It is easier for girls to get married then it is for boys as boys have to go through the whole finding work thing which takes them till about 25ish. Girls can get married 19/20 onwards as they are not required to bring in the income. If you can get married and you know that this brother has the ability to provide for you then there is no harm in sending a proposal. Many youngsters had this problem also in the time of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam, his advice was,

"O group of youth! Whosoever from amongst you has the capability to fulfil the rights of the wife should marry. For this greatly (helps in) lowering the gaze and is a protection for the private parts. And whosoever from amongst you does not possess this capability, he should keep fast. This will be for him a sheild (which protects him from immorality)."

This advice was for ma'sharush shabbab, the congregation of youngsters.

If you cannot get married to him, then go marry somebody else. By marrying someone else who is also pious you will be able to engage with eachother in a manner which is halal and does not leave any bitter taste of anxiety and worry. By getting married and interacting with the other sex in the manner which Allah and His Rasul salallahu alayhi wa salam have prescibed, you will remove any thoughts of any other person from your mind and will only be concentrated on your husband. The whole day will revolve around, "When is my most beloved coming home?".

Moving on, if this is not possible, then keep yourself busy. Often thoughts come into a persons mind when he has nothing to occupy him. If a person is not able to get married, then he should remove his mind completely away from thoughts of marriage and romance. Television, books, movies (all types) and anything else which pushes one’s mind towards having a partner should be abstained from. Bollywood in particular should be refrained from and one should constantly keep oneself busy with some sort of worship. Sometimes, even in worship there is laziness or in some cases, people get tired very quickly and look towards something else. In times like this, one should try to play some sports or sit with friends and family and have a cheerful time. The aim here is to remove the thought of marriage away from the mind with actions which are not related to it but are still within the boundaries of Shariat.

Many sisters sit at home all day and do nothing at all. By doing nothing at all, a person paves the way towards boredom and lonliness. Many sisters have rejected sports and exercise and this is incorrect. A person must take good care of the body that Allah Ta'ala has entrusted them with. Perhaps by going to an all female gym or by purchasing exercise materials, a person can do exercise also.

Abu Huzayfa said...

Part 2

You have mentioned that you always look at your phone to see if he has texted you and you check your hotmail,yahoo regularly to see if you have received any messages. It would be irrational for me to say break your mobile phone and cut your internet wire because the reality is, a person who perhaps goes to uni or college will be using these two instruments hugely. It is impracital to say "stay away!" The way to fight this constant feeling is by using the golden rule of "goli maro bhai!" which means "fire a bullet at it" i.e. throw it away, leave it, forget it.

This may be hard to achieve at first but sooner or later, when better things are coming your way in life i.e. good grades, new friends, happiness in general, you will instantly feel that you have no need of having such a person in your life no matter how unique they are. It is really important to know that you can't keep EVERYONE you meet in your life. It is impossible, it is like the khabees memory card on the playstation 3. A person will buy 20-30 games and will save so much memory onto his playstation 3 but one sad day, the playstation 3 will put a message up saying "Memory Full". It is important not to have a heart attack in such situations but to merely discard the data, memory and happiness of the previous games so that you can make way for new games. In the same way, sometimes in order to reach new places and people, you have to lead some who no longer have a role in your life. (please read for more info)

This takes alot mujahadah and striving to achieve especially if your heart is hooked to his rememberance but when you start moving through the various chapters of life, you will inshallah place a full stop on his name and if he is to be your partner, then you can write a lambi chori story full of akram bakram muhabbat lines.

Chal baat yahi chortai hai. May Allah Ta'ala help you and easen your matters. Ameen.

Wassalam - apologies for any spelling and grammar mistakes, I am a bit tired today. Sorry for the 2 parts aswell; I didn't know that we could only type 4,069 characters for one post.

Muhazam said...

salaamailaikum, sister if you think you got feelings for him and you want to be with him, then read istikhara, and if they answer you get is positive, then tell your brother or or an elder member of your family about your feelings and then tell them to tell the guy about how you feel for him and then get marry, and by getting married your following the sunnah of our prophet(peace be upon him) and you know sometime shaytaan plays trick with us , making us think that this person is right for us,you should be careful about this sister, i hope ive helped u a little bit, if you still not sure, then you can post another comment
May ALLAH makes thing easy for u.AMEEN

Anonymous said...

JazakAllaah khayran so much.. I guess you really said what I needed to hear. Please pray for me inshaAllaah I have made a firm intention to keep strong and to follow 'goli maro' procedure lol... I pray Allaah swt grants you all Jannah. Aameen. Keep up the beautiful work.. Wa 'Alaikum Asalaam

Anonymous said...

assalamualleikum, you said "The very foundation of fruitful love rests on a lawful marriage and without the bond of marriage; one will surely find life to be free from serenity."

this is only half truth of the story. please do elaborate. jazakallah

Abu Huzayfa said...

Assalamu Alaykum,

Apologies for the late response, I haven't had time to reply recently. Non the less, the phrase you quoted was from my piece entitled Love, 'Lust and the Heart' so inshallah I will answer the question.

The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said, "You will see nothing that creates love between two people like Nikkah does." So anything prior to that cannot even compare to the love that emanates from Nikkah. Thus, the most fruitful love is only from nikkah and anything else which is felt between couples prior to this is void.

Thereafter, Allah Ta'ala says, "And from His signs is this that He has created for you partners from amongst yourself so that you may dwell in peace with them..." Thus, if a person does not have this partner, he wont have this special, khusoosi peace.

I personally do not understand what you are trying to get at? Perhaps you have been reading too hard inbetween the lines?

Anonymous said...

Salaam, ino this isnt quite revelant to Valentines day but can you write an article about boys and girls mixing and talking as friends as that is Haraam also and this is one of the most important issues in todays society..JazakaAllah