How to Keep a Low Profile & Keeping Away Unwanted Attention

Many people want to keep a low profile with regards to themselves but they simply do not know how to. Some people make sincere intentions that they will keep themselves unknown only to reappear a few months later and become well-known once more. A person can get attention for a variety of reasons; sometimes a person could have done something amazingly praiseworthy which attracts the admiration of his peers and the jealousy of others. Sometimes a person could have done something shockingly inappropriate which attracts the attention of everybody around him. Similarly, a person who wears trendy and stylish clothes is immediately recognised and likewise, a person who smells and dresses up badly also gains some recognition for the wrong reasons. The basic point made here is that attention comes through various ways and finds its way to the door of a person sooner or later.

How can a person maintain a low profile? Different things apply to the two genders. Below is a list of ways a person can keep himself ‘off the radar’ so as to speak.

- Make a strong intention that you want to keep yourself to yourself and not be known among the people. The stronger your intention is, the more Allah Ta’ala will help you attain your goal.

- Get rid of your Facebook! As soon as a person signs up to Facebook, he instantly brings himself attention. It is amazing how people are willing to share there every action with people whom they may not even know properly. How is it possible that a person announces to the entire world ‘Fulan is now going to the toilet’?! And then not expect attention? It is shameful for a person to write acts about his every action! It is needless telling people all these things. If a person is going to share his life with the entire world, what remains for himself and his loved ones? Some people who have these applications on their phones then send messages from the most inappropriate of places! Is it really appropriate to write a Facebook status whilst attending somebody’s Janazah? It is for this reason one of my friends tends to call this type of behaviour ‘Shamebook’. Facebook may have benefits but its negatives are far greater. For some, closing their Facebook may be a bit extreme but for those whose hearts have been opened by guidance from Allah Ta’ala, they will immediately recognise their Facebook to be a waste of time. Note: Once it is closed, keep it that way. It can be tempting to return to it and see the latest gossip but a person must have self discipline. Constantly remind yourself what your aim is. Also, there is no need to announce on Facebook that you are leaving. Some people forget that their aim is to keep attention away from them and before deactivating their account they write a big message saying, “Fulan is now leaving Facebook! Goodbye all, it was nice knowing you!” There is no need for an announcement! This will cause a person to delay and wait to see what people have to say. When people become alerted, they will rush to send a message. The basis of all this is unwanted attention that could have been avoided. If deleting Facebook is totally out of the equation then at least limit those with whom you speak to through it. If you are using it to keep in touch with a few special friends then keep it that way. There is no need to keep 277 friends when you speak to only a handful.

- Limit your use of MSN Messenger. Sometimes, people genuinely need to use MSN to speak to family members or loved ones who may be in different countries and this is fine. However, it is important to limit the contacts who are available. Sometimes people have 200 contacts but only speak to 10. If this is the case then only keep 10. If we just sat back and had a look at our MSN Messenger contacts list, we will notice that the majority of those who we have on our account are barely spoken to anyway. If this is the case, then get rid of the excess.

- Keep your voice down when you are around others. Sometimes people are loud by tendency but caution should be taken with this. Some people on the other hand are loud because they want to be heard. How many times have we walked down a road or sat on a bus only to hear the conversation of another person without even wanting to? A person should try their utmost to socialise in a modest and humble manner. Aishah radiallahu anha would mention that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam was not rude or vulgar and he didn’t pretend to be immoral either; neither did he shout in market places. This is a great example for us, we walk up and down the road screaming and hollering but respect is when a person is quiet. The louder a person is, the more he is considered to be bizarre by the people around him.

- The above point is especially useful for women. There are many women who tend to be loud and bubbly and as a result, they cause a lot of unneeded attention towards themselves. There was once a time where the tongues of women were eloquent and free from swearing and vulgarity. It is unfortunate to see young Muslim women openly screaming all sorts of abuse in colleges and universities. That is not to say all women are like that, there are still women today who are role models for even men because of their beautiful characteristics. A woman is most attractive when her words are of a soft and sweet nature. It does not befit a rose that it gives of stench so then how is it possible for a woman that she spits out abuse?

- Avoid going into places which will cause recognition. Many people like to go to Shisha cafes and specific clubs but what this can bring unwanted attention. Many people who go to places like these are determined to mingle with others. These places are best left alone.

- Keep a small amount of pious friends. Many people like to mix with different groups of friends during different days of the week. This is incorrect as his name becomes famed. It is better to keep a small group of friends who will come to a person’s aid. A person who is married should especially limit his friends. His best friend should be his wife. In a prior post (Click Here) we spoke of the husband being the mureed of his wife; and rightly so, it is better to be the mureed of lifelong friend than a whole host of friends. Also, when a person keeps friends who are idiots, they tend to spill his secrets and make him well known.

- Limit your time out of the house. Some people go out and loiter around shopping malls and parks just to see what is going on. This again is unnecessary and should be avoided.

- Don’t wear dazzling clothes. As a Muslim we are encouraged to dress well and wear nice clothes if we are able to do so. Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. However, there is a huge difference between elegance and show-stopping glitz! We should be elegant in our clothing but not glamorous. Many people want to be seen as they cross the road so they will wear a shocking blue t-shirt or more jewellery then people keep in the shops! This again is incorrect. Beauty is in simplicity and we see this in the life of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. His attire was elegant but it was simple at the same time. It was not heavily designed but rather it was kept plain and clean. Many people will now say that they didn’t have fashionable and heavily designed material in those times but this is totally incorrect. The merchants of Arabia would constantly trade with the Romans and Persians in order to bring beautiful clothing to Arabia but this would never tempt Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. Once Umar radiallahu anhu saw Rasulullah’s salallahu alahyhi wa salam state and began to weep. When asked as to why he cries he said, “I swear by Allah! I do not cry except that because I know that you are more exalted in the sight of Allah then the emperor of Persia and the Caesar of Rome. And they are both are enjoying in the pleasures of the world, whilst you, O Rasulullah are in this state that I am seeing you in.” Upon this Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam said, “What is with me and this world? (i.e. what do I care about this world?)”

- Sisters are also encouraged to not wear clothes which can bring attention to their beauty. Men are naturally rugged and sometimes, a person needs to look for a long time to see any beauty. On the other hand, women are naturally created with attractive features and can instantly catch eyes if attention is brought to them. This is not to say that women should not dress up and remain in a filthy state. Rather, a women should dress up well but should not make herself alluring by wearing colours which make her more luminous than the lollipop lady.

- Conceal your good deeds like the way you would conceal your bad deeds.

Our pious predecessors and elders disliked fame and glory. They were very simple people; there aim was to live a simple life on this planet and then return to Allah Ta’ala. There walking, talking and living in general was very basic and they did not have any desire to be known and celebrated. Hazrat Bishr ibn al Harith rahimahullah would say, “I do not know of a single man who loves fame except that he loses his religion and becomes disgraced. No-one who has fear of Allah, loves to be known amongst the people.” Let us ponder carefully over this statement. When a person begins to love fame and popularity, he thrives on serving the people in all affairs. When he speaks, he speaks for their praise; when he prays, he hopes for the approval; when he does any good, it is for their admiration. It is better to keep low profile and remain unknown. The more fame a person gets, the more opposition he gets. Every person would like to make the person beside him think in a similar way but this is not possible.

There are many more ways to keep low profile but the post is already long as it is. Inshallah if time permits, I will continue with this at another time.

May Allah Ta’ala give us the ability to become sincere servants of His. Ameen.