Friday, 3 June 2011

Signs of Arrogance

Source: Ashrafiya

The arrogance (kibr) means that an individual considers himself superior to others regarding the excellent (and desired) qualities.

It is expected that when an individual has such an allusion about his grandeur the nafs bloats up and starts to manifest the signs (of kibr). They include,

1. Trying to be ahead of everyone while walking with others.

2. Preferring to be seated in a prominent place in a gathering.

3. Looking down on others with despise.

4. Being angry if others do not initiate to greet and welcome.

5. Being upset if others do not respect him/her.

6. Being visibly annoyed if others offer advice (nasiha).

7. Not accepting the truth even after being convinced.

8. Looking at the general public as though they are donkeys.

Allah save us all from these.(Amin!)

Taharat e qalb, page 165


Anonymous said...


this has nothing to do with this article but i have a question..

what makes a valid marriage..because i heard that if there is a proposal and acceptance then it constitutes a marriage even if this was done as a joke, or with no proper intention to get wed? can you clarify please thank you

Abu Huzayfa said...

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

For a marriage to be valid there simply must be Ijaab (proposal to marry) and Qubool (acceptance of the proposal) in front of two male witnesses (or one male witness and two female witnesses). (Fatawa Mahmoodiya 10/463 & Ad Durrul Mukhtar 3/9)

i.e. a marriage is considered to be valid when the Wali (guardian) says to the future husband, “Do you take my daughter so and so in your marriage?” and the prospective husband replies with, “Yes, I accept your daughter so and so in my marriage.” – this constitutes a Nikkah provided that there are two male witnesses (or one male witness and two female witnesses) present.

The recital of the Khutba is Sunnah and if it is left out, the Nikkah will still be valid. (Fatawa Mahmoodiya 10/463 & Fatawa Darul Uloom Zakariyya 3/546)

Taking the above into consideration, the second part of your question can now be answered.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam has mentioned, “There are three things that by intending them they are meant and if they are jokingly intended, it is meant. 1) Nikkah (marriage) 2) Talaaq (divorce) 3) Raj’ah (to call one’s wife back after one divorce).” (Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud)

Thus, if a man and a woman were to jokingly propose and accept (Ijaab and Qubool) to each other in front of two witnesses, then the two will become husband and wife. And if the husband were to give his wife a Talaaq as a divorce, then that too will be considered a divorce. Likewise, if a person jokingly calls his wife back after issuing Talaaq Raj’ee (revocable divorce), then in reality he has brought her back into his wedlock. (Mazaahir e Haqq Sharh Mishkat Shareef 3/383,384)

However, having mentioned the above, it is incredibly important to know that this ruling applies only to those who follow the Hanafi school of thought. This is because according to the Ahnaf, the girl does not need the permission of her Wali (guardian) to get married.

According to the Ahnaf, a sane, adult woman is responsible for herself and can give herself away in marriage provided she has found a suitable match (kufu’) (Fatawa Mahmoodiya 10/466). However, if her Wali comes to know about this, he can annul the marriage. (Fathul Qadeer 3/256)

According to Imam Shafi’ee, Imam Malik, Imam Ahmad rahimahullah ta’ala, a marriage cannot be valid unless the Wali has given permission and they base their opinion on the statement of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam when he said, “Any woman who marries without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, invalid, invalid” (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

Thus, they place the condition that the Wali must give permission for the Nikkah to go ahead and in effect, accept the proposal. Therefore, a woman (according to the three Imams) will not be able to conduct her Nikkah by herself and because she does not have this power, she will not be able to marry herself off even if she is to do it jokingly. i.e. even if she was to say to a man in front of two witnesses, “Have you taken me as your wife?”, it would hold no regard as it is not within her Shari’ power to do so.

However, the hadith in relation to a ‘joke-nikkah’ will still be applicable in this situation if the girl’s Wali was to jokingly marry her off to somebody.

The Nikkah would be valid unless it is highlighted that she did not consent to the marriage. (Mazaahir e Haqq Sharh Mishkat Shareef 3/384)

Wallahu a’lamu bis sawaab

Anonymous said...

what about if it was done out of ignorance and they were not aware of the religious ruling (i.e they were not practising) or it was done as part of a drama? and if this too is still valid what happens in the case where all the parties (including witnesses)forgot what happened? what about if a woman and man were witnesses but there were others around who didn't pay attention?

what about if the words "yeah ok, actually no" were used or "no, the ring don't fit on that finger anyway" were used?

Abu Huzayfa said...

Even then, the Nikkah still remains valid.

The forgetting of the witnesses does not matter, for even if they were to die the Nikkah would still remain.

As mentioned before, for a valid Nikkah, two men are needed or one man and two women. If this criteria is not met then the Nikkah is not valid. If there was one man and one man woman who were made to be the witness, then the criteria is not fulfilled. If you are certain that nobody around was paying attention then the Nikkah is not valid.

Finally, in relation to the words said during Ijaab and Qubool. This is a very sensitive matter; in relation to the statement, “No, the ring don’t fit on that finger anyway’ – it is clear from this statement that nafi (negation) was intended and so there is no Nikkah. The problem arises with the first statement, “yeah ok, actually no”. I searched through the books of fatawa and could not find anything. I have just spoken to my respected teacher Mufti Abdur Raheem sahib (DB) and he has said the following, “If the intention was yes then the person changed her mind to no, the Nikkah is done however the matter of Kufu’ and Wali will be looked into (check first answer). However, if the intention was no but ‘yes’ was said due to sabaqate lisaan (i.e. the tongue acts ahead of the intention) then the Nikkah should not count.”

It should also be understood that the opinion of the Sahibayn (who are from the Ahnaf) is in conformity with the opinion of Imam Shafi’ee, Malik, Ahmad rahimahullah (i.e. Nikkah is not done except by the permission of the Wali).

Wallahu a’lamu bis sawaab

Anonymous said...

jzk may Allah reward you for the effort u went through ameen