Many are of the opinion that a person should only really get
married when his desire for intimacy increases; while this is correct, there
are also other factors that a person should consider because not everybody has
the same level of desire. Some people are highly amorous and thus need to get
married quickly so as to protect themselves from falling into Haraam. On the
contrary, there are some whom are quite mellow and their desires are well
subdued. Such people can sometimes fall into deceit as they may feel that
Nikkah is only for those who need to fulfil their needs. This is incorrect.
As a man, besides the obvious physical desire that is felt,
there are other indications which also show that a male should get married.
When you see that you are constantly missing meals, wearing un-ironed clothes,
constantly feeling sick and missing out on a lot of sleep, know that you need
the touch of a woman. When you have become completely injury prone and from
every angle of your life there seems to be sloppiness and inaccuracy, you need
a good wife to beat you into shape! Thereafter, your life will come back into
perspective.
A person will no longer skip meals because he now knows he
must eat his wife’s cooked food. Likewise, if she is a pious wife who wishes to sit
and eat with her husband, he’ll feel that he needs to at least eat something so
his wife can eat too. Likewise, if his appearance looks scrappy and ragged,
when he is married, he will immediately change so that his wife is attracted to
him. And if he still doesn’t care about his looks after marriage, his wife will
make sure he wears clothes which are appropriate and represent able.
A person constantly becomes ill because his lifestyle is not
correct, it is hoped that by the guidance of a good wife, the husband can live
a clean and healthy lifestyle. Men generally don’t take good care of themselves
because they are always worried about something or the other. They also have a
very rugged nature which as a result creates a lot of problems on the mind,
body and soul. It is like a tank that goes through 100 walls, it keeps going and
doesn’t care about the scratches it takes. However, the more damage it takes,
the more weak it becomes. Similar is the case of a man, he feels like he is
superman and tries to do everything but sooner or later, he gets burnt out.
This is why he needs a wife, she will make sure he doesn’t over do it. When the
husband sees anguish in the eyes of his wife, he begins to look after himself
for her sake.
Quite simply, there’s more to getting married than just
being able to fulfil one’s desires.
2 comments:
"...if his appearance looks scrappy and ragged, when he is married, he will immediately change so that his wife is attracted to him."
That is complete BS! A man will never change, not for a women, not for himself! Most men are abusive and only want sex! (dirty pigs)
Jazakallah for leaving a comment but it seems you've spoken through emotions and perhaps self experience.
There are many who endeavour to live their life in the blessed footsteps of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wassalam, a man who strove to fulfill the rights of his partners.
You're quite simply wrong to paint all men with the same brush. There is no doubt that there are men who fit the description you have mentioned but non the less, there are tons who toiled their entire lives for the happiness of their family.
A person should not base analogies on what they've seen in their own life because it does not reflect the joy enjoyed by others. i.e. speak for only yourself.
And Allah ta'ala knows best.
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