Royal Characteristics After Marriage

Due to the Royal Wedding which has occured, I felt it ideal to post something in relation to wedlock. Once a person is married, he will have to adapt his ways in order to get along with his partner. It is for this reason that I have translated a few chapters from Tuhfatuz Zawjayn by Hazrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi rahimahullah. He mentions some really nice and beautiful points. The last part is a brief account of Hazrat Maulana Thanwi's own behaviour inside his household.

Speaking to your wife and keeping her happy is also her right

Some people are such that they are referred to as respected elders or obedient followers of a respected elder. They are fully engiaged in prayer, fasting, zikr etc and it is as if they are purchasing their place in Jannah through their worship. However, these people are such that they remain ignorant of the rights of their wife.

Remember! It is also the right of your wife that you fix a time for her in which you can speak to her in order to listen to her problems and her joys. It is also her right that you have heart to heart with her so that she remains happy but it is unfortunate that many religious and less religious people remain ignorant with regards to this and thus do not fulfil this right of the spouse. These people are such that they think the only thing that they have to do is provide food and clothing for their wife!

Buying gifts for your wife without reason and feeding her with your hands

If a person purchases something for his wife without any reason to do so then that will not be considered to be extravagance. This is because making the heart of your wife happy is what is needed. However, there is also the condition that a person doesn’t incur a debt upon himself greater than he can satisfy.

And to feed the wife some food is also good, Allah Ta’ala places reward in this.

Hazrat Thanwi and his beautiful conduct with the women of his house

“It is not something which should be mentioned but out of necessity I will tell you as to how I run my household and how I take assistance from the people of my house.

Alhamdulillah, I am not suppressed and nor do I suppress anyone in my household and still, I live the life of a king. My habit is this that when I go home, I check if there is fresh chapatti; if it hasn’t been made, I eat the stale chapatti. Many a times I see that my wife is busy with something so I take the chapatti with my own hands and I take some water with me also. I then take a plate and poor curry into the plate and sit down to eat. If she is making chapatti, I ask her if she needs anything as sometimes, water is needed. If this is the case, I go to the sink or well and fill a bucket of water for her. Sometimes, if she is free, I ask her to bring me the food and that poor girl brings it for me (i.e. Hazrat Thanwi is showing his compassion for his wife that she assists him without making any complaint). It is important for a person to see whether she is busy or not as a person does not remain in the same state all the time.

I tend to get less sleep at night and so after observing my wife for a while, I get up and make thanks to Allah Ta’ala that at least He gave her sleep. Otherwise two sadness’s would be joined together (i.e. one sadness for me not being able to sleep and one sadness for her not being able to sleep).

Then when I am leaving my house, I ask her if there is anything she would like me to do for her. If she says that there is nothing for me to do, I go about my business and if she tells me that there is some work that needs taking care of, I do it. For example, if she wants me to write a letter, I will finish this job and then leave.

Nowadays, many people in our society say that having a wife means a life of friendship! O naive people! Do you even fulfil any rights of friendship or do you just use this term as a (flowery) word? It is only shown by your actions whether or not you have taken that poor girl to be your friend."

May Allah Ta'ala give us the ability to inculcate within ourselves beautiful characteristics which perfume the houses we live in and bring joy to the people we spend time with. May He give us the ability to cherish one another. Ameen, ya Rabbal 'Aalameen.

Infatuation in Islam (Part 2) - Curing the Problem

The topic of infatuation is a very strange matter. I have already highlighted the problem and the illness which branch out from this feeling (this article can be read by clicking here). Sometimes, the hardest obstacle to overcome is the mind. When the mind has conceded that the body has a problem, man has already lost half the battle. Janan Begum rahmatullahi alayha was a great poet, her husband died at quite a young age and she led the rest of her life as a widow. She never forgot her beloved and was always in his remembrance. About infatuation she once wrote,

“How can a lover conceal his infatuation from the eyes of people,
when both of his eyes are bleeding to disclose his secret love.”

When the mind has conceded that it has been taken over by the remembrance of the beloved, it is really hard to break this train of thought. It requires a person to dig deep inside of himself and strengthen his resolve. I have decided to counter the illnesses that I wrote towards the end of the last article; then wherever necessary, I will add whatever else needs to be mentioned inshallah.

Strengthening one’s resolve

For any difficult goal to be achieved, a person needs to have determination.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam said, “Actions are by intentions, and for every man is what he intended.” A person will go as far as his intention; if his intention was one of huge determination, then he will continue to reach the goal despite facing various hardships along the way. On the contrary, if a person’s intention was weak, his determination and resolve will crumble at the first hardship faced in reaching his goal. As a result, he will be left unsuccessful and will continue to try finding new ways of attaining his intended target. The reality is, when battling diseases of the mind and heart, nothing is easy. There is no shortcut, there is no side road which a person can use during testing times, rather everything is done by clenching the fists and getting on with the job. They key principle is, “Never lose courage”. Always keep on going even if it feels a mountain trek in the beginning. Sooner or later, the tawajjuh (attention) of Allah Ta’ala falls upon His slave which results in mass progress. In our context, this means that a person should immediately slap himself (not literally) and leave the thoughts surround the desired one. During times of frustration, such strong feelings may come back but a person should not feel hopelessness, rather he should pick himself up and try again. The resolve should be such that a person feels inside of his heart, “Even if I die, I am going to get this khabees out of my mind and heart!” Such strong resolve is loved by Allah Ta’ala who in turn sees the mujjahadah (effort and struggle) of His slave. Consequently, Allah Ta’ala gives the slave the ability to fulfil his task.

Remedies to the illness mentioned in the previous article:

Constantly being self conscious – The remedy to this is to avoid trying to look good. One who is suffering from this ailment should wake up and roll out of his house without over elaborating his looks. This doesn’t mean he goes to college, university, work with a creased up khurta pyjama! Rather, he wears whatever he finds in his hand. He should not think to himself, “I am going to wear a dark colour because it makes me look mysterious!” The main objective here is not to make much of an effort, after continuously doing this he will not care whether he looks ugly or not as he has nobody to impress. Thus, by not impressing the beloved, he begins decrease in love and concentration for her.

Feeling of being unattractive if ignored – feeling unattractive can be from the Mercy of Allah Ta’ala especially in our day and age. Sometimes when people know that they are appealing to the other gender, they tend to go by the proverb, “If you’ve got it, then flaunt it!” and thus a person will wear his/her clothing in a manipulative way. When a person feels unattractive, it can prevent him into going into illicit relationships. His esteem is fragile with regards to interacting with the opposite sex and before he even begins to be flirtatious, he will remind himself, “Yaar..you are the ugly duckling, why would a girl of her calibre be interested in you?!” As a result, this mindset will overpower the want of doing haraam. When a person starts feeling unattractive due to being ignored, he should constantly remind himself, “This person is not my spouse and my beauty will only be for her. What difference does it make to me if this person doesn’t think I am attractive, it is not like I am going to spend the rest of my life with them.” Thus when a person doesn’t receive the attention he was hoping for, he should not feel lowly but should rather pass it off and feel that the only opinion worthy of his time is that of the one he will marry and remain with.

Depression – Depression often stems from loneliness and isolation. Depression feeds on the frailties of the mind and the weaknesses of the heart. As a result, a person finds solitude only in his sorrow. It is a vicious circle which revolves around anguish. It is important to spend as much time with good friends, going out and playing football and having a general laugh. If a person finds that he is constantly falling into sorrow and his eyes are burning with tears, he should do things which cheer him up even if it means forcing oneself. Sometimes, a person finds such happiness in his friends, our friends are always people we look to and smile with. It is important to be with them. Another way is to spend time in dua’a, speaking to Allah Ta’ala about your problems. Explain the contents of your heart by telling Allah Ta’ala the story from the beginning to the end. He hears and understands everything, even the whispers of the heart. Reading Qur’an and Islamic literature can also prove to be beneficial.

Sleepless nights – please read the article Goodnight, Sleep Tight.

Unstable thoughts – These thoughts are from Shaytaan. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam has given us the remedy for such thoughts. We must say Ta’wuz (A’uzu billahi min ash shaytaanir rajeem) and then change our thoughts. This can be done best by engaging in zikr. Let a person constantly say “Astagfirullah” (O Allah! Forgive me). One should also reflect on his selfishness which is being portrayed by his desire to cause unrest in the lives of others. More details can be read by viewing the following article: Origins of Evil Thoughts

Mood Swings - This is perhaps one of the hardest ailments to get rid off due to the unpredictable nature of a person. Imam Shafi’ rahimahullah would write, “The heart is only called the heart because of its rapid change.” Different things that happen in our life change us. Sometimes this is caused due to factors within our control (such as our own actions) and at other times these changes are caused by factors which are outside of our control (such as actions of others or environmental changes). As mentioned in the other post, sometimes the attention of the beloved can send one into ecstasy and likewise a cold look can send one into deep sorrow. The best way to avoid these mood swings is to avoid the beloved altogether. Some people are such that even though they are not in contact with their desired one, they will speak to those who are in an attempt to find out any news about their life. The best thing to do at this juncture is to ignore and leave everything connected to the person at hand. However, it is also important to try one’s best to leave those things which make a person angry, sad or frustrated. These feelings are such that they provoke the feelings of want and miss. A person then goes into a frenzy and due to missing and wanting the beloved, the mood swings occur. When a person feels he is going into a strop, then he must try his best to avoid the people who are dear to him, in such instances, a person can cause damage to the hearts of others and then regret it later. The bottom line here is, one needs to be patient and slowly over time, these mood swings will occur less. When one is frustrated and then begins to miss the beloved, it is important to busy the mind with something else...go play a nice golf game on Playstation.

Anger – Anger is such a thing which can emanate from mood swings. My respected ustaadh Hazrat Maulana Abdur Rahim Sahib once mentioned,

غصہ کا آنا برا نہيں – غصہ کو لانا اور غصہ نکالنا برا ہے
“The coming of anger is not a bad thing... bringing anger (by force) and then taking it out (on others) is bad”

He then continued, “Anger is sometimes good. Allah Ta’ala gave it to us so we can protect ourselves otherwise we wouldn’t care about what happened to us or our families. So as long as a person is late in getting angry and quick in returning to his normal state he is fine. Also, as long as his anger is not for personal and worldly matters then it and it is for deen, then he is fine too. Remember, “sorry” is the hardest word to say but we should not hesitate to say it when we realise our mistake.”

The advice to a person who is angry is mentioned in the hadith, he should recite Ta’wuz and then do wudhu to cool himself down. If he is standing up then he should sit down and if he is sitting down he should lie down. It is also useful to take deep breaths and blow the matter off. Sometimes, we get annoyed by little things but the main reason of our anger is our infatuation. Then when someone asks, “What is the matter?” we mention the little thing because we are too ashamed to say, “I am more infatuated then Majnoo was on Laila.” Just the way we consider it to be shameful and pitiful when asked about our anger, we should also consider this infatuation to be something lowly and not worthy of getting angry over when we are in a state of calmness. Let’s not blow things out of proportion, that’s one of the greatest crimes a person can do. Though this infatuation maybe something big in your life, nobody other than yourself really cares about it. By constantly remembering this, a person will be able to take a huge weight off of his shoulder and turn it into a feather.

Loss of appetite – Sometimes this can be a great ni’mat of Allah Ta’ala, especially when a person is a bit podgy and has a Krispy Kreme doughnut addiction. The main thing over here is not to starve oneself to the brink of exhaustion but to take healthy amounts of food. Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam would eat moderately himself so this is not a bad thing. However, sometimes we hear stories of sisters who become anorexic due to this and refuse to eat. This is not right, Allah Ta’ala has given the body to insaan (mankind) as an amanat (trust). If our friends were to give us a fragile diamond necklace, we would take care of it and polish it every day so that it returns to its rightful owner in a good state. In the same way, we have to look after our body and condition it well so that when we give our body back to Allah Ta’ala, it is not in a bad condition. It being in a bad state reflect the ingratitude of a person. If a person is really struggling, then he/she should try to eat many khujoor (dates) and drink water in abundance too. Inshallah there will be great barkat in this.

Remedies to spiritual ailments:

Laziness in worship – In such a situation, a person has to force himself onto the prayer mat and pray. He has to constantly make the dua, “O Allah Ta’ala, whether I want to or not, pull me by my forehead onto the prayer mat. O Allah, whether I want to or not, pull me towards the Qur’an and make me read it. O Allah, whether I want to worship You or not, make Your worship compelling upon me.” It is also good to find some pious friends and build up a relationship with the mosque. The more a person goes to the mosque for prayers with congregation, the more he builds up an attachment to the house of Allah Ta’ala and the Qur’an itself mentions that such prayer stops a believer from indulging in immoral activities. If a person has a pious, best friend, it is important for him to trust his friend and explain his situation. By seeking his help, he will have someone to help him who is not blinded by love or by the constant natter of shaytaan with regards to the beloved. When a person is infatuated, his eyes are hazed but a person who is not infatuated will see a situation for what it really is; in effect he will be able to come to the right decisions and provide the right help inshallah.

Increase in disobedience – this is similar to laziness in worship however a person may embark on all sorts of immoral activities if this state comes over a person. It is important to force oneself into the company of the pious or the people of the household. Sometimes, a person only gets into bad things because the people around him are behaving in the manner of shayaateen. If a person can stay away from such people, it would be good for him. I once wrote a poem about this:

If a raindrop falls into the ocean, it is catergorised as part of the ocean,
When insaan falls into bad company, then insaan surely becomes known as bad company.
All the negative attributes that you gain thereafter, will cover you like a coat,
Duplicity, audacity and insolence is what your name will be known to connote.
So save yourselves from this complete and utter foppery,
For it is better to be alone than to have evil company.

Staying away from bad company means staying away from drugs, alcohol etc. Staying in good company means staying in the masjid.

Heavy heart – if a person finds that he has a heavy heart then he should make lots of zikr. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace.” It is easy to zikr, a person can say laa ilaha illallah and astagfirullah whilst walking. The greatest remembrance is the Qur’an. The more a person reads it, the more its nur (light) enters his heart and destroys the darkness which surrounds it. Also, a person should be punctual on his prayers and try to increase his nafli (extra) worship. Tahajjud is something that can draw a person closer to Allah Ta’ala. Once this closeness is found, a person should make dua from the bottom of his heart and cry profusely. If a person cannot cry, then he should make the face of a person who is crying and be in anguish. By enjoying a good old sob, the heart feels light and happy.

Change in personality – it is always important to read about the characteristics of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. He is our role model and his nature was sublime. His conduct was impeccable and he has set for us a shining example. When a person’s characteristics become so foul, it is best to look towards the characteristics of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. Purchase books such as Shamail Tirmizi which is available widely with commentary Khasail Nabawi or the Sublime Conduct of Nabi salallahu alayhi wa salam. A person should also look to get Bay’ah with a Sheikh who can then guide him on the path to perfection. For more information on this, please read the book “Path to Perfection” which has been compiled by Maulana Maseehullah Khan sahib rahimahullah.

Loss of trust in Allah Ta’ala – This is one of the greatest sins a person can do. When a person gets to such a state he should immediately seek repentance, do ta’wuz and slap himself (literally this time). It is important to wake up and smell the coffee. Just because a person does not get his desired object does not give him the right to lose trust in Allah Ta’ala. Allah Ta’ala mentions, “It could be that you like something which is bad for you and that you dislike something which is good for you but Allah knows best and you do not.” The reality is, Allah may have better things in store for us which are far greater and virtuous but what He needs from our side is patience and reliance upon Him. Allah Ta’ala is not out to hurt the believers, He is our Friend and Guardian. Never will there be such a day where Allah Ta’ala turns His Countenance away from us and leaves us in despair. This will only happen if we turn our backs on Allah Ta’ala. May Allah Ta’ala protect us from the fitnah of ourselves and never let us be in charge of our own selves for the blink of an eye. Ameen

The ailments are many and the remedies are many. The above is just a feeble attempt to help those whose hearts may be in peril. If there are others who know of methods and solutions that are far more beneficial, then it is my humble request to be shown towards a better advice.

May Allah Ta’ala guard the gates of our heart and fill our hearts only with the love of Allah Ta’ala, His Rasul salallahu alayhi wa salam and those who it is permissible for us to cherish. May He, out of His Benevolence and Kindness help all those who are mystified by this ailment. Ameen.

Infatuation in Islam - Identifying the Problem

Recently, I have heard the word infatuation being used a lot. I began thinking about what ‘infatuation’ exactly is from an Islamic point of view. I then thought about the difference between infatuation and a mere liking of someone. Slowly but surely, by the grace of Allah Ta’ala, I began to write this article. This article will largely deal with the feeling of infatuation upon the other gender.

According to the dictionary, the word infatuation is defined as ‘an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something’. In many cases however, such infatuation is not short-lived but remains present in a person’s life. It can hide itself within the breasts of mankind for a long period and just when a person thinks it has gone, it can resurface. This will be explained further in due course insha Allah.

It is important at this stage to recognise the difference between merely liking and admiring someone and become infatuated upon someone. When a person merely likes another person, it is just a way of expressing his fondness towards the characteristics or beauty of the person whom he is keen upon. This is quite normal and is felt in many people whether they like to admit it or not. For example, a person may have a work colleague who is really helpful and as a result, that person develops a liking for his colleague's kind nature. Also, a person may have a classmate who is extremely beautiful and by acknowledging her beauty, he may begin to develop a liking for her too. However, this liking remains at a very mellow stage and becomes a ‘want’ rather than a ‘need’.

A ‘want’ is simply something a person would like to have; if he receives it then he is happy and makes use of it till he renders it useless and if he does not receive it, he is briefly disappointed but moves on. A ‘need’ however is something a person must have in order to give himself raahat and peace; if he receives it then he does not want to let it go and if he does not receive it, his heart is in constant ache.

This second type is primarily what ‘infatuation’ is. It is an obsession of such a nature that it traumatises the mind and punishes the heart inhumanely. When a person is ‘infatuated’ upon something, his life becomes unbearable until his obsession is acquired. It is true enough to say that infatuation has different degrees. Some people are affected by it greatly to the extent that there entire life revolves around their fixation and others are affected for only a specific portion of their life and as soon as that time has departed, so too has the fixation. The latter can be exemplified by the situation of a person who is popular in college. Girls may be fixated upon his flash style and his handsome face all year round but as soon as he departs, the fascination these girls felt will also go. This is because he is no longer in view.

Shah Waliullah Dehlwi rahimahullah narrates a hadith in his Arba’in, “Your love for someone can blind you and deafen you.” Infatuation can be on many things. It can be upon following life in certain ways, using specific methods, it can be an intense interest in an enemy etc. Here we will take about the infatuation which is felt in a person when he likes another.

For a person to be infatuated on another person, love and admiration must have entered his heart at some point which stops him from moving on. This is seen quite explicitly in the story of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam which is mentioned in the Qur’an. The story is a long, detailed one but in brief, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam was a man of immense beauty and great conduct. The wife of the leader of Egypt (Zuleikha is her name) at that time became infatuated upon Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam and loved him dearly. She was so adamant in starting a relationship with him that she sought to seduce him into committing fornication. Being such a great Nabi of Allah Ta’ala, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam refused. These events somehow spread throughout the land and the women began gossiping and ridiculing Zuleikha. Zuleikha felt hard done by as nobody except her had witnessed the great beauty and jamaal of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam. As a result, she organised a banquet wherein Yusuf alayhis salam was put forth in front of the women. They were also given knives and fruit in their hand but when they saw the beauty of Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam, they cut their hands. As a result, Hazrat Yusuf alayhis salam was falsely dubbed as a menace to society and was consequently put into prison. He stayed in prison for seven years. It is mentioned by Maulana Hifzurrahman Syuhari rahimahullah, “Once Yusuf alayhis salam was taken into prison, Zuelikha totally took him out of her mind.” For several years, Zuleikha continued with her life and it appeared that she had moved on during this time. The flame of intense love and affection she had for Yusuf alayhis salam appeared to have burnt out. However, after seven years, his name was mentioned in her presence and the infatuation she had rekindled itself and the flame of her love once more began to burn brightly in her heart.

The leader of Egypt began an inquiry as to see what really happened with regards to Yusuf alayhis salam. He wanted to clear Hazrat Yusuf’s alayhis salam name and so he began his ‘trial’. When his name was mentioned in front of Zuleikha, the truth of her infatuation became apparent and she crumbled. After years of being so distant from the one she loved the most, the pangs of separation could no longer be hidden. She immediately admitted her fault and that she was to blame. The Qur’an mentions,

قَالَ مَا خَطۡبُكُنَّ إِذۡ رَٲوَدتُّنَّ يُوسُفَ عَن نَّفۡسِهِۦ‌ۚ قُلۡنَ حَـٰشَ لِلَّهِ مَا عَلِمۡنَا عَلَيۡهِ مِن سُوٓءٍ۬‌ۚ قَالَتِ ٱمۡرَأَتُ ٱلۡعَزِيزِ ٱلۡـَٔـٰنَ حَصۡحَصَ ٱلۡحَقُّ أَنَا۟ رَٲوَدتُّهُ ۥ عَن نَّفۡسِهِۦ وَإِنَّهُ ۥ لَمِنَ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ
He (the king) said, “What was your case, O women, when you seduced Yusuf?” They said, .God forbid, we know of no evil in him.” The governor‘s wife said, “Now the truth has come to light. I did seduce him, and he is surely truthful.”

My most dearest and most beloved Hazrat Maulana Abdur Rahim Sahib (May Allah Ta'ala preserve him and reward him in abundance) writes a beautiful explanation to this verse in his tafseer Ahsan al Qasas. He says,

“Zuleikha stood on one side and listened to the replies of the women and acknowledged the innocence and high principles of Yusuf alayhis salam. When they finished, she began, “Now the truth has come to light”. She did not mince her words. Rather she accepted her guilt freely and frankly. She adored Yusuf alayhis salaam in every sense, in words and deed and she wanted the truth to be proclaimed in the open court, before all. So what had happened to her then? She had learnt a lot in sorrow, pain and humiliation. She had learnt the vanity of carnal love. Yusuf alayhis salam, true of heart, calm in every turn of fortune, had taught her to question herself whether, in spite of all her sins she could yet be worthy of him? Perhaps when her husband was dead, and she was a widow. However, she must see whether she could understand love in the sense in which Yusuf alayhis salam would have her understand it, that pure surrender of the self, which is not tainted by earthly matters.”

Thus as I mentioned before, infatuation is not short lived but can resurface at any time. Over here, we have the case of Zuleikha who has gone without Yusuf alayhis salam for years but at his mere return, she once again became dominated by feelings of burning love.

It is about this the poet says,

“Love refuses to hide, although I have tried to conceal it at countless times.
It just returns and settles itself in my courtyard.
When my yearning intensifies, my heart revolves around his remembrance.
Then when I want to get closer to my beloved, he himself draws closer to me.”

Yusuf alayhis salam was the ‘need’ that Zuleikha felt and by being in his company or around his matters, she felt great solace.

Now the question arises that in our day and age, is this type of infatuation on the opposite gender a good thing?

The simple answer is no. It does not befit the characteristics of a Muslim that he places matters of happiness and sadness upon the attention of a person whom he may not even spend the rest of his life. The effects of infatuation can cause many problems both spiritually and mentally. With regards to mentally, here are some;

· Constantly being self conscious – when a person becomes obsessed with someone, he naturally wants to look good in order to catch their eye. Thus he will always try to dress up and look good just in case he bumps into them.

· Feeling of being unattractive if ignored – when a person is ignored or not acknowledged by the person for whom they dressed up, they often feel very low in self esteem and feel unattractive. Sometimes a person may feel that he made such effort only to be blown away.

· Depression – when a person cannot even gain the attention of the person that they are infatuated upon, they begin to live a life of sorrow. Nothing feels worth doing if it is not done with the ‘beloved’.

· Sleepless nights – when a person is infatuated upon a person, he may often suffer sleepless nights just thinking about the other person. He may spend hours upon hours devising plans to be noticed or perhaps fantasize of a day when he is enjoying himself with his fixation.

· Unstable thoughts – A person may think up many ways of perhaps acquiring his obsession. This may lead to unstable and impure thoughts. A person may consider plotting against people or doing absurd things just in order to attain their desired one.

· Mood swings – when a person does not know what to think, he begins to have mood swings. Sometimes when things are going fine, he is in the happiest of moods but at other times he may be extremely depressed. This can perhaps be sparked by small gestures from their ‘beloved’. For example, if the ‘beloved’ merely glances with a smile at them, it may send them in to ecstasy. On the other hand, if the ‘beloved’ glances at them coldly or speaks sharply, they may feel extreme sorrow.

· Anger – when things are not going right and all else is failing. A person tends to get frustrated and begins to bish, bash, bosh.

· Loss of appetite – a person cannot eat despite being hungry. He is constantly in thought of his ‘desired one’. For as long as he feels the pains of separation, he cannot enjoy the other ni’mats and bounties of life.

From among the spiritual ailments are the following:

· Laziness in worship – when a person hits such a sorrowful state, he just does not like to do anything. It is easier to lie down on the bed then to make dua to Allah Ta’ala and thus there will be much negligence in prayer and Qur’an. Sometimes, when a person does not have thing he wants most, everything else feels useless to perform.

· Loss of trust in Allah Ta’ala – when a person does not get what he wants, he begins to question Allah Ta’ala and feel that Allah Ta’ala has deprived him. When his entire life is being shattered, he begins to question what Allah Ta’ala has done for him! May Allah Ta’ala protect us all.

· Increase in disobedience – as a result of this loss of trust, a person begins to commit sins and feels more inclined towards disobedience. A sister who may not be getting noticed by the person whom she is infatuated upon may take off her hijab in order to lure him to her. Due to the pain the heart is feeling, a person may find solace in smoking, drugs, alcohol as it can temporarily numb the pain.

· Heavy heart – as a result of all this disobedience, the heart becomes stained and becomes heavy. A person feels constantly guilty with himself for the constant sin he has gotten himself into.

· Change in personality - when infatuation has affected a person so greatly, his personality begins to change. He become different to the man he once was in many ways. Many negative traints come inside him and his akhlaq (mannerisms) are hugely transformed. A person who was always bashful and cheerful may become miserable. One who was kind may feel stingy. One who always had time for others may push people away from him and the examples go on..

All the aforementioned point to one thing – such infatuation in Islam is forbidden. In no way is it correct for a Muslim to bear all these characteristics with himself. Such foul qualities negate the essence and aura of a Muslim. I have highlighted the problems and in the next post, I will insha Allah write the remedy as I have not thought about it greatly as yet. If anybody has any ideas, please feel free to put your ideas forth. Jazak Allah

May Allah Ta’ala strengthen the doors of our heart and keep the clean with His religion. May He out of His infinite blessings reward all the authors on this blog and those who inspire us to write. May He reward all you for taking time out to learn about His deen. Ameen

Hazrat Thanwi's Love For His Wife & The Glitzy Achkan!

A strange incident with regards to Hazrat Thanwi
(This article has been translated from Islahi Khutbaat)

Hazrat Mufti Taqi Usmani Sahib (DB) mentions,

“I remember a very strange story which I heard from my respected father (Hazrat Mufti Muhammad Shafi rahimahullah). It is a story which gives a great lesson.

Hazrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi rahmatullahi alayh had two wives. One was elderly and one was young. Both had a great relationship with Hazrat. However the elderly wife was would always be thinking about how she could bring some rest to Hazrat.

Once, Eid was approaching and she really desired from her heart to make a Achkan (a long jacket type of thing click for image). There was a special type of cloth that would be used in that time for this and its name was “ankh kaa nasha” (the intoxication of the eyes). It was a very bright type of cloth also.

She began to sew Hazrat wala a Achkan without asking him prior to making it. She entertained the thought of seeing Hazrat’s happiness and thus did not tell him about it in order to surprise him. She spent the entirety of Ramadhan making this garment for Hazrat; this was because they did not have machines in those days so clothing had to be sewn and stitched by hand.

Thus she finished making the garment and she gifted it to Hazrat on the night before Eid. She said to him, “I have made this Achkan for you... my heart wishes that you wear this to the Eidgah and lead the prayer in it (the prayer would consist of thousands of people).”

Now, Hazrat’s persona was something else and this dazzling Achkan was something else (i.e. Hazrat was a very simple person and did not wear anything flamboyant). Hazrat’s persona was completely the opposite of this dazzling Achkan! However Hazrat mentions, “Had I refused to wear this garment, her heart would have been broken. She had spent the entire month of Ramadhan making this garment with so much effort and love.” Thereafter, just to make the heart of his wife happy, he said, “Masha Allah!!! You have made a beautiful Achkan!”

He then wore this Achkan to Eidgah and lead the prayer. When he finished the prayer, a person came to Hazrat and said, “Hazrat! You know this Achkan you are wearing, it does not give you any beauty because it is of a very dazzling nature.”

Hazrat replied, “Yes bhai! You are correct!” He then took this Achkan off and gave it to this man as a Eid gift and told him to wear it.

After this, Hazrat Thanwi related this whole incident to my father (Hazrat Mufti Muhammad Shafi rahimahullah) and he said, “Don’t ask me as to how much my heart was being torn apart inside as I was walking towards the Eidgah. This is because I have never in my entire life worn a dress as glitzy as this but in my heart I made the intention that ‘this Allah ki bandi (slave of Allah) has spent her entire month making this garment for me... let me make her heart happy. After wearing this, I even got joked about. People joked about me when they saw me and would say, ‘What has he come to this place wearing?!’ But I did all this just to make the heart of my wife happy.” [Islahi Khutbaat]

Allah hu Akbar! What is amazing here is the beautiful relationship Hazrat had with his wife. On one side there is a wife who loves her husband so much that she spent the entirety of Ramadhan making him a garment and on the other side, we have a man who loves his wife so much that despite him not liking the garment himself, he still put a front on to make his wife happy. How many of us can today say that 1) We would spend such time in thought of our beloved and 2) We would happily work towards keeping the hearts of our beloved happy despite being joked and jeered about?

May Allah Ta’ala give us strength and taufiq by which everything is then possible. May He out of His infinite love and mercy give us the ability to love in the correct manner. Ameen

"Maulvi's are the mureed of their wives..."

By Hazrat Hakeemul Ummat, Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi rahmatullahi alayh
Translate from Tohfae Zowjayn (excellent book, must buy).

Those people who are religious have much gratitude for the many efforts of their wives. Maulana Muhammad Mazar rahmatullahi alayh was such that his wife had become quite elderly but Maulana shared such a bond with her that whenever she would become even a little sick, he would immediately take leave from Madressa (where he would teach) and he would do her khidmat (service) with his own hands.

Today, some people hate having elderly wives where in reality, they are the people that made them a bhudi (elderly) but Maulana Muhammad’s rahmatullahi alayh was such that he did not employ maids or butlers to do his wife’s looking after but rather he did it himself and take leave from Madressa in the process.

It is for this reason that some people say in jest that: “The scholars are the mureed of their wives!” but Jee ha! Yes, indeed! It is better for them to be their mureed then be their peer like you people! And that too, a bogus peer!

The reality is this that Maulvi’s are not the mureed of their wives but they have the fear of Allah Ta’ala set in their hearts with regards to fulfilling the rights of other people and the rights of their wives. Their eyes have passed over the Qur’an and Hadith and they have read the social conduct of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam through the narrations of Hadith. They have seen how he showed such softness and compassion to his wives in order to put them at ease.

The reality is that whatever Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam presented to his wives through his beautiful behaviour can never be done by any Maulana today and if he did make an effort to portray this behaviour (tit for tat) then the people would jest him by calling him more than a mureed of his wife.

In the Hadith it comes that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam would race with his wife Hazrat Aisha radiallahu anha. It is for this reason Maulvi’s do more for the sake of their wives because they have social conduct of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam in their eyes. Then by doing things for the happiness of their wives, there is a big benefit in the world. The People of Allah are not the mureed of their wives, rather they understand their significance.

Valentines Day

With the name of Allah, the All Merciful, the Very Merciful

On the 14th of February, you may see a lot of people wearing red colour clothes and many couples or lovers will be meeting with each other to exchange gifts and to pass time with one another. The reality behind this all is that it's totally Haram to celebrate Valentines Day! We see a lot of Muslims getting involved in this ignorant act. The Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam said in an authentic hadith that whomsoever follows a group of people, he will be from amongst them; by celebrating Valentines Day, you are following the way of the disbelievers and so a person must ask himself, "Do you want to be raised up amongst the disbelievers on the day where there will be no shelter??" If the answer is 'No!' then you should not celebrate this day.

It is very unfortunate that a lot of Muslims will indulge themselves in this Haram act, and as a result will go waste money on gifts, waste time with a person who is not mahram! Instead of wasting money on gifts, why don't you give that money in charity and why don't you spend time in the rememberance of the Almighty Allah and get reward for it rather than being punished? Whenever a male and a female is alone the third will be shaytaan and so when a person meets there partner, there is a threat that they may kiss, touch and this then may lead to something much worse. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said it is better that a nail goes through your head than touching the palm of someone that is haraam for you. Stop. Now think about this.

My brothers and sisters we should realise that Valentines Day is not from the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad salallahu alayhi wa salam. If you want to be raised up amongst the Succesful Ones then follow the Sunnah of the beloved of Allah. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said that Nikkah is from my sunnah, so naturally if you follow Allah and His Nabi salallahu alayhi wa salam and you shall be amongst the Succesful Ones insha Allah. We should realise that haram love are for those who doesn't love Allah enough. Allah says in the Quran, "Do not approach aldultery..." this verse has a deep meaning, we should realise that Shaytaan is very clever, he will do anything to lead us to Hell. If we think about Valentines Day, many boys and girls may commit adultery on that day. It all starts with a touch, from a touch it becomes a hug, from a hug it becomes a kiss and from a kiss it will lead to adultery. If we think about it, on Valentines Day, people will be exchanging gifts, and out of happiness they will kiss each other and this will lead to something much more Haram, so it's better that we avoid getting involved in celebrating this day.

Recently I was talking to a very nice brother mashallah, he used to be involved in this haram act but Alhamdullilah he has realised that by commiting this haraam acts it will lead him to the punishment of Allah. He told me how he felt when he was with the opposite sex, the sweetness of commiting the act was for a short period of time only and after he had done it, he would feel guilty and nothing would feel good for him.This shows us that the sweetness of commiting a Haraam act is only for a few moments and it will lead to the punishment of Allah.

However, my brothers and sisters Allah says in the Quran ,"Do not despair upon my mercy..." if we have made the mistake of celebrating Valentines Day and being in haraam relationships, then we should ask for forgiveness because Allah is Very Merciful. Valentines Day is not for Muslims so don't get involved in this ignorant act of celebrating that day.

I leave you with this quote, "One should not confuse true love with the feelings felt for members of the opposite sex. Such love, although sometimes transformed into true love, is deficient ,temporary and has no inherent value".

MAY ALLAH GUIDES ALL OF US ON THE STRAIGHT PATH AND MAY ALLAH GIVE US WIFE/HUSBAND THAT ARE PIOUS

AMEEEN

"When one of you loves his brother, he should tell him so..."

The following is an extract from the Jumm'ah Bayaan at London Metropolitan University:

And so we begin today. What I want to talk about today is love for one another because sometimes I see friction in the prayer room. Maybe this is because we think, “He doesn’t look like me, he isn’t doing things that I follow. Why does he do this? Why not like this?” And then these very same people may perhaps show bad characteristics towards one another. This truly creates really bad feelings towards one another. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam said,

“When one of you loves his brother, he should tell him so.”

He should tell him! He should not keep it inside that, “I am a big man! I am hard! I don’t want to tell anybody I love them as it may decrease from my manhood! I want to be macho! I don’t want to show any softness inside of me, this must be only directed towards my wife.” No, this is completely wrong! Bringing an aura of love is from the characteristics of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam! When he would see the Sahabah radiallahu anhum, he would show them huge amounts of compassion. Today my brothers and sisters, we have gone far away from this. We feel love is only dependant on those people whom we can share intimacy with and not those people who we are brothers with, and this is why the Muslim Ummat is suffering right now because we don’t understand that we should love one another.

Now how should we love one another? By smiling at one another, by passing the salaam to one another, by meeting one another with an embrace and by this love will increase as you will always remember a person who shows these characteristics towards you! Maybe a person continually sees another Muslim and he continually passes salaam, maybe one day they will actually sit and talk and create a great friendship with each other. This has happened in the past. And if we are to act upon the hadith we are discussing right now, then we should tell each other, “I love you for the sake of Allah Ta’ala.” This is also hugely beneficial and we really disregard it. Just by saying this statement, it can remove a lot of bitterness which we direct to other people.

Mujahid rahimahullah who was a very big scholar mentions that he met some of the companions of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam. And one sahabi tapped him from behind on his shoulder and said, “I love you for the sake of Allah Ta’ala!” and Mujahid said, “May the One for whom you love me, love you too.” And this Sahabi said, “Had I not heard the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam say, “when you love your brother you should tell him so” I would not have told you this.” And because of this Mujahid rahimahullah became happy and he too showed izhaar of his gratitude.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam said, “No two people love each other but the better of those people is the one who is more in his love for his friend.” For example, I love our brother Ilyas for the sake of Allah Ta’ala but he might love me more, this means he is better than me. This is what the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam showed to the people, a lot of love and mercy. It is mentioned by Hazrat Anas radiallahu anhu,

“The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam was the most beautiful of the people, the most generous of the people, the most courageous of the people.”

And there is a reason to this, once in Madina late at night the people heard a big sound. They got scared as they thought the enemies of Islam were preparing a surprise attack at night while they were not prepared. In a state of huge terror, they made their way to the sound to see what had happened. But when they arrived, they had found that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam was already there on his horse with a sword in his hand! Subhanallah! What a sight this was to behold. He was prepared to take an entire army with by himself for his people! And he ushered them back to their homes telling them not to worry as he had checked the area! Allahu Akbar! How many of us have this type of aura around us that we give comfort to those people whom we socialise with? My brothers, rather than dispelling the worries of our brothers, we like to instil fear into them. The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam was a person who called everyone towards him, he did not push anyone away. Hazrat Amr ibn al-Aas radiallahu anhu relates,

“The Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam gave attention, spoke and showed love to the worst person of a nation so that, the person may feel he is being given special attention. He used to give me such attentions and spoke to me also in a manner that I began to feel that I was the best among the community.”

One hadith that I will speak of very quickly,

“When a person loves his brother for the sake of Allah Ta’ala and he says, “I love you for the sake of Allah Ta’ala.” Then Allah Ta’ala enters both of them into Jannah. The person who loves his brother for the sake of Allah Ta’ala, Allah Ta’ala elevates that persons rank.”

So you should tell your brothers that you love them for the sake of Allah Ta’ala. I’ll be the first to open up and drop the macho look! I love you all for the sake of Allah Ta’ala!

Love, Lust & The Heart

In recent time it appears as though the entire concept of cherishing someone has been eradicated from the religion of Muhammad salalallahu alayhi wa salam. Many people consider the concept of ‘Love’ and ‘Lust’ as something that Islam forbids in its entirety, whether it be felt inside or outside of wedlock. As Muslims have begun to adopt non Muslim customs in their weddings and marriage, we find a great loss in the etiquette of treasuring a partner as if he or she were the most prized possession in the world. However, there are narrations of the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam showing an intimate and compassionate side to his wives for a reason. These narrations could have been left hidden by Allah Ta’ala but in the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam there is a man of exalted examples and in the various transmissions that are slightly private, we discover the most perfect morals and etiquettes to treat our partners with.

The feeling of love and lust is not one that is unknown to Islam. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an,

وَمِنۡ ءَايَـٰتِهِۦۤ أَنۡ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنۡ أَنفُسِكُمۡ أَزۡوَٲجً۬ا لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيۡنَڪُم مَّوَدَّةً۬ وَرَحۡمَةً‌ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٲلِكَ لَأَيَـٰتٍ۬ لِّقَوۡمٍ۬ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

“And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.”

Hazrat Mufti Muhammad Shafi rahimahullah mentions in his commentary to this verse mentions:

“The wisdom behind the creation of this particular sex (women) is said to be لِّتَسۡكُنُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهَا (so that you may find tranquillity in them). If one ponders, it becomes evident that all the requirements of men from women end up in drawing peace of mind, tranquillity and comfort.”

In this verse of the Qur’an, Allah refers to the relationship which emits from the relationship of marriage as something that brings love and tranquillity. On the contrary, a person who leaves the Shariah aspect of love and opts for lust finds his heart very heavy and tainted. By living like animals may provide some minor pleasure for a short period of time but it will not provide the solace and harmony created through marriage. The very foundation of fruitful love rests on a lawful marriage and without the bond of marriage; one will surely find life to be free from serenity. Cherry Norton writes as the Social Affairs Editor of ‘The Independent’ newspaper in 2000,

“Feeling guilty about indulging in life's pleasures can damage your health - so if you want to stay in peak condition you should adopt a more hedonistic approach, psychologists said yesterday.Research presented at the British Psychological Society's annual conference in Winchester showed that those who feel guilty about eating, drinking, smoking, watching television or having sex - suffered from a poorer immune system, making them more vulnerable to colds and flu. The findings also suggested that women felt more guilty about their indulgences and were more likely to fall ill than men."

Islam does not negate the feelings of the heart, rather it negates the feelings which lead one into rebellion and that which causes huge problems. There is no ban on having fun as long as it coincides with the restrictions placed by the Shariat. It is perfectly fine for a person to play football with his friends or go to the gym. However this becomes problematic when Prayer is missed for the sake of a football match. Likewise, to love somebody from deep within your heart is emphasised on as long as the two lovers are permitted to love each other (i.e. through matrimony).

The heart itself is a very important part of the Muslim’s body. From this heart emits the feelings of love, anger, joy and many other emotions. However these feelings are determined Halal or Haraam by the actions that emanate from them. For example, a person can be angry but in his anger he has hit his Muslim brother, thus his actions have rendered his anger Haraam. If he had suppressed his anger and recited Tawwuz he would be from among those people whom Allah Ta’ala loves. In the same way, love is not wrong if it is for Allah or for family etc. But this love becomes Haraam when it targeted at a boyfriend or girlfriend, a partner outside wedlock, a ‘fling’ with no repercussions. This is why the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam has mentioned,

“Surely, in the body there is a lump of flesh which when it is sound the whole body is sound and when it is corrupt the whole body is corrupt. Truly, it is the heart.”

Similarly it is mentioned in the Musnad of Imam Ahmad on the authority of Anas radiallahu anhu that the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam said,

“The belief of a slave will not be straight until his heart is straight.”

What is meant here is that the bodily actions will not be in accordance with Islam until the heart is. For whatever becomes a bodily action is the output of the heart. Therefore, if the heart is in accordance with Islam, ones belief and bodily actions will be too and a core which is filled with affection for Allah Ta’ala will always want to obey Him and never disobey Him.

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal rahimahullah mentions,

“If his heart is sound and there is nothing in it but love of Allah Ta’ala and love of what Allah loves and fear of Allah Ta’ala and fear of falling into that which He dislikes, then all of the actions of the limbs will be right, and there will arise from that his avoidance of all forbidden things and his guarding himself against ambiguities in case he should fall into things which are forbidden. If the heart is corrupt and it is overcome by following desires and his seeking what he loves even if Allah Ta’ala dislikes it, then all of the limbs; movements will be corrupt and will give rise to every act of disobedience and (engagement in every) ambiguous matter according to the extent of his following the hearts’ desire... For this reason it is said that the heart is the king of the limbs and organs and the other limbs and organs are its troops.”

It is for this reason the Prophet salalallahu alayhi wa salam would say in his supplication,

“O Allah, I ask You for a sound heart.”

This is why it is imperative for us as Muslims to fight our desires in the various societies we enter. Many of us in the Western world are working in places which are of mixed genders and we find that we have to interact with the other sex on regular basis. This is not just for people who work but this also applies to students who go to colleges and universities. Society has advocated that we find ourselves partners to become intimate with, every popular soap encourages having companions in order to celebrate the theme of love. This type of ideology has found its way into the lives of young and old Muslims alike and now we find many Muslims engaged in relationships from young ages. Recent culture has subconsciously given people an incentive to imitate the sweet, romantic relationships that they see on their televisions in their own lives. Through this influence, the lives of many Muslims are being corrupted.

It is imperative that we protect ourselves and our children from the huge rush to gather boyfriends and girlfriends. Many of these relationships happen in secret to prevent parents from finding out but at the same time there is guilt which settles in the heart and after a few months, a God conscious Muslim will realise that it is time to give up the Haram and will do it despite the sadness and the ‘emotional rollercoaster’.

Sitting in the Hearts of Allah Walai

Haji Imdadullah Makki rahmatullahi alayh used to say that the Mercy and Love of Allah Ta'ala descends on that person who gains a place of love in the heart of a shaykh.

The reason is that the Mercy and Love of Allah Ta’ala continuously descends on the heart of the shaykh, so when someone else’s love permeates the heart of the shaykh then he too becomes the recipient of Allah’s Mercy and Love.”

Source: Shaykh.org

Love Itself Will Teach You The Etiquettes of Love

Muhabbat (love) cannot be learnt just like that, nor can it be taught just like that. Hazrat Sheikh Muhammad Zakariyya rahmatullahi alayh used to say,

“When I was very young, a child... I used to hear my father (Hazrat Maulana Yahya rahmatullahi alayh) recite poetry. And I used to learn this poetry by heart. I did not understand the deeper meanings of this poetry until when I was older. One of the poems that I had learnt from him were as follows:

محبت ﺗﺟﻬ كو خود ﺁداب محبت سكهاتى ہے

“Love itself will teach you the etiquettes of loving someone.”

Meaning, when a person loves another person to a deep extent, he constantly thinks of ways to show great etiquettes to that special someone. If you search for these etiquettes in a book, you will find some but better than this is true love. If your love for a person is true, it itself will teach you the mannerisms of how to love a person. It was Hazrat Sheikh’s habit to narrate stories during i’tikaaf time in Ramadhan and so in this particular time, he continued to narrate his own experiences in relation to the above poem. He relates that the great ‘Alim Hazrat Maulana Abdul Qadir Raipuri rahmatullahi alayh would travel a lot and on his journeys, he would often stop off at Saharanpur where Hazrat Sheikh used to live. And he would stay there for a short period. Once there was a Tableeghi Ijtima and Hazrat Raipuri was arriving at the same time. As the ijtima finished all the great ulama went to the train station to meet Hazrat Raipuri so that they could be in his service. The first thing that Hazrat Sheikh asked him was,

“What is your plan? (i.e. how long do you intend to stay at my house in Saharanpur?)

Hazrat Raipuri said,

“I will stay for today and tomorrow. The third day is up to you, whatever you want me to do, I will do.”

Despite being senior to Hazrat Sheikh and also a man of great ‘ilm, Hazrat Sheikh refused him the request and said,

“No. Not one, two or three days... leave tomorrow. And not just (any time) tomorrow but as soon as the Fajr Adhan goes, you read your Jamaat with your own people and leave. You do not have permission to stay at my house any longer than that.”

Hazrat Raipuri was absolutely bewildered and shocked at this response! He said,

“Give me permission, I have been travelling for so long! I need rest!”

And Hazrat Sheikh said,

“No. Infact, you cannot stay half an hour after the Fajr Adhan, you must leave. You have no permission from me. I will prepare your breakfast and tea and then you go.”

So this is what had happened and when it was Hazrat Maulana Abdul Qadir Raipuri’s time to depart and go back to Raipur, Hazrat Sheikh came to him. He explained his actions and said,

“The reason I done such is because my house is no luxurious place. I live a very simple life. You are travelling and you are going to find no luxury or rest here because my house cannot provide it. You are better off going back to Raipur. And my intention behind this all is so that you get rest. And of course I want you to stay but this is what I was thinking and I could not let you stay any longer than that one night.”

Then when Hazrat Raipuri went back to Raipur, he called all of his close companions and then he said,

“This is the intention that Hazrat Zakariyya has sent me back with...”

and then he began to make many, many dua’as for him before continuing to say,

“This was such a good intention that now I see the benefit.”

Thereafter, he made a huge number of Du’aas for Hazrat Sheikh and continued to do so. Hazrat Sheikh says,

“Whenever I remember this story it makes me very happy because it seems very harsh but it is because the love I had for him taught me these etiquettes.”

Similarly, there is an incident recorded of Sheikhul Islam, Hazrat Sayed Maulana Husain Ahmad Madani Sahib. Once his teacher, Hazrat Sheikhul Hind Maulana Mahmoodul Hasan Sahib received many guests. There was only one toilet in the house and the visitors were to stay for several days. Every night Hazrat Madani used to clean the toilet and the visitors would find the toilet clean the next morning. Once again, it was not books that taught him this but love itself. His love was so true and sincere for his beloved teacher that it gave him the strength to do even the most impossible of works. Finally, we look into the life of our beloved Rasul e Paak salallahu alayhi wa salam .

Our beloved Prophet salallahu alayhi wa salam had a deep and intense love for Hazrat Aishah radiallahu anha. He would show her enormous affection right up to the day he left this world. His love for her was so much that he would not let an opportunity slip in which he could show Hazrat Aishah radiallahu anha her special place in his heart. When she would sip water from a glass, he would turn that glass and drink from the exact same place where Hazrat Aishah radiallahu anha had placed her lips. He was a very caring and loving husband. He would go out with Aishah radiallahu anha, Sahabahs are with him, he would say to the Sahabah – once it so happened, he said to the Sahabah to go ahead and that he would come with Aishah radiallahu anha. The Sahabah then went forward on that journey that they were travelling and then he says to Aishah,

“Aishah! Come on! Let’s race!”

And they start racing and Aishah radiallahu anha wins the race and Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam is left behind. After a few months or years, similarly, the same incident happens and they have a race again. This time, Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam wins and so she was left behind and Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa salam won and he said,

“I have taken my revenge .”

So finally I conclude. True love is the basis of teaching how to love a person. Whether those people or that person is from our families, spouses, friends or teachers etc. A person who nourishes his hearts hunger with haraam love will always be void of conentment and this special connection. True love will teach one etiquettes on how to show compassion, care and happiness. Making one another smile will come without thought and exchanging gifts with one another, cheering one another up, keeping eachother away from harm will be a 'doddle' (inshallah). I love you all for the sake of Allah's pleasure and so I have made the above 'user friendly' and 'easy on the eyes' so that you may enjoy reading it inshallah.

May Allah Ta'ala give us all the ability to love one another in the correct manner. Ameen