The Sinister...'Far Away, Distant' Feeling

That ‘far away, distant' feeling is something that comes to us all every now and then. This is that feeling, where everything feels blurred and everything seems distant. It seems that everybody is getting on with something or the other and you seem to be standing still; it just feels that you are stuck in a time and place from which you can’t get out of! An example of this to a lower degree can be seen in a student who is sitting in an exam hall; he sees everybody around him doing something but his brain feels to blunt to think of something and his stomach begins to churn as he sees his time is running out.

The reality of this all is that different incidents in a person’s life can trigger of this feeling. Sometimes, an abundance of work and pressure could be the cause; at other stages panic and anxiety could be a reason. Sometimes desperation could settle into oneself and many times, all these factors come together to hit insaan for a six! He then becomes like that cricket ball which has been hit out of the stadium and is sitting outside in the car park all by itself, waiting for somebody to pick it up and bring it back to its rightful place (i.e. the pitch). Similarly, when life is moving so fast around us and we feel completely dazed, we too need someone to take us by the hand and put our hearts’ at ease.

This feeling is an emotion that comes to us regularly and perhaps more so as we grow up and less so as we reach an elderly age. As a person grows, his responsibilities increase and he finds himself juggling between those actions which he must do (whether he likes it or not) and those actions which he likes to do (as a hobby). During his life, he will find himself constantly balancing between the two. When a person starts taking too much on, he finds himself bewildered at the sheer pace of life. There seems to be too many things happening and too little time to analyse them all.

In some instances, an issue of great magnitude such as a person’s death is placed in front of us which totally sweeps our feet from beneath us. Another example could be of a person who is planning to get married; he may be preparing for months on end but as the time to tie the knot approaches, he begins to feel that there are many things which he hasn’t dealt with! In both situations, a person is left befuddled and perplexed.

And in some instances, a person can want to feel far away from everything! When a person constantly sees ‘snakes’ from amongst his dear ones and dark evil in his surroundings, one naturally wants to curl up into a ball and stay in one corner. Sometimes sadness comes to us in abundance and the only reprieve seems to be in the darkness of a silent room. Thus, the far away feeling occurs because a person doesn’t want to feel close to the action.

Finally, you have others who experience the far away feeling because they are quite simply potty! This is when a person is just to foolish to do what is good for himself and continues doing stupid things which prove to be a hindrance to his existence! An example I hear you say? Take the example of a person who wastes his life in a shisha cafe; everyday he wakes up, he does the same thing. He brushes his teeth, wears his jacket, takes money from his parents and follows his friends (who may also be potty) into a shisha cafe. He thereafter wastes pound after pound in buying drinks, coals, snacks etc. The most bizarre thing of all is that this very same person has a career defining exam the following day and he should be revising! As a result, he sits in the exam hall the next day and all he can do is squirm in his chair when he sees his classmates around him pencilling in their exam papers at speed.

So how can a person stop this feeling or get out of it? There are a variety of things he can do. Below are just a few:

• Stop feeling sorry for yourself – sometimes a person needs to slap himself (not literally) and pull his socks up. For how long will a person feel sorry about himself and watch the people around him be successful and not be a part of that success himself? A person must produce unyielding efforts to break away from the vicious cycle of self pity and sorrow.

• Grab hold of a good friend to help you – sometimes we can’t see how deep we are in a situation. At times we exaggerate our problems and at other times, we play matters which are of huge relevance down. When we have the ‘far away feeling’ we should confide this matter in a close, loving, knowledgeable friend. We should explain to him, “I need you to help me pick myself up and make use of my time.” This feeling can bring much sadness to a person which in turn brings a fatigued, lazy ethos. We need to tell our close friend, “When you see me wasting my life away, pull me together and slap me (literally)!”

• Get up and go – have some ‘get up and go’ about yourself. You may find that nobody can help you; that should not send you into a murky abyss. Rather, fortify your intentions and make something of yourself.

• Take the advices from the Qur’an and the Hadith - While the Qur’an cheers up a saddened soul, it also has great advices to push a person in the right direction. Similarly, the words of our Nabi salallahu alayhi wasallam have great blessings; he himself would say, ‘I am a source of peace for my companions’. Thus, if we engross ourselves by becoming his companions (i.e. by studying his words), his invigorating shadow will extend over us also.

• Make lots of dua – only Allah Ta’ala is the One who can take us out of the darkness we see before us. Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an, “When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path.” The court of Allah Ta’ala isn’t like a shop which has opening and closing hours; it is open all hours. The court of Allah Ta’ala is like that shop which has everything a person could need and more; he just needs to pre-order through his dua and Allah Ta’ala will send him what he requires. The postage, packaging and delivery depends on that person’s sincerity in his dua but when does eventually receives it, five star customer satisfaction is guaranteed!

May Allah Ta’ala grant us all aafiyat and make our hardships easy for us. Ameen, ya Rabbal ‘Aalameen.